Clipped?

So, let me just start off by saying how much I have loathed the idea of coupon clipping. I hate(d) it.

My mom used to clip those things and file them away and dig through them for hours before going shopping. ARGH! I hated cutting all those coupons with the knowledge that a lot of them would never be used. Now, well, I've changed my mind. You see, my much more patient sister in law, Jules is an extreme couponer. Now some may think this is a dorky title for one who clips coupons, but she has saved her family $$$thousands$$$$ of dollars this year alone by doing the coupon thing. It's not your mother's couponing, girls. This is new age coupons.

At first, I thought I was gonna poke my eyes out trying to figure this thing out. It's really quite a simple process. You have to prepare yourself by stocking up on the Sunday paper coupon inserts and any other coupons you come in contact with by mail, online or at the store in the booklets and on the shelves themselves.

Ok, getting down to business. I shopped at Food Lion and at Harris Teeter yesterday. Unfortunately, I cannot find my Food Lion receipt that I have saved in my "safe place" to tell you what the details of my trip were, but I can give you approximates. At Food Lion I paid out of pocket (oop) $51+ and used coupons and value card and saved $40+. What I would've spent $91+ dollars on I spent $51. Get it? So, I saved approx. 44% on my groceries. Holy moley!

Then, on my trip to Harris Teeter I spent oop $105.76 and saved with q's and value card $86.13. So, when I would've spent $191.89 on my groceries without q's, I actually saved 45% and spent only $105.76. I am now rethinking my coupon disdain and thinking that I am going to follow Jules a little more closely.

If you are interested in saving some dough please go to my sis-in-law's blog and feel free to ask questions of her or me and we will get you started out. I am by no means close to saving what my sil does, but I am on my way to saving a bundle! It's quite exciting!

God bless your money saving adventures whatever they may be!

And this should explain it

I have made a pact with my sister in VA that I will try to lose weight with her. We're both overweight, but more noticeably unhealthy and that's what we're tired of. Of course, I hate that I gained weight back after losing 26+ pounds when faced with the possibility of the "c" word. I said I was fine and even voiced how I knew God's hand was

in my life and I would be ok either way the tests came out. However, I was saying that and shoving those 26+ pounds back on thanks to my stress, and oh yea, a big ole Too Much Chocolate Cake recipe (thanks Beth and Beff! JK!).

So, I'm tired of myself and my inabilities to follow through on certain things in my life because this holds me back. God has a plan for me and I can't get into the uniform, so I am changing that. I know I can, I know how, I know the in's and out's, I know what causes it, I know the math, I know I can do this thing. I would like to ask all of you to pray for me and my sister.

You see, my sister is the strongest woman I know. She is the mother of three and is an army wife. Her husband is an officer with the Army Reserve and is in charge of a unit right now in Baghdad. His third deployment since 9/11, and his second to Iraq. She has no stress. HA! She took her oldest to college without her husband, she does EVERYTHING, EVERYDAY by herself, just like thousands of other wives and husbands all over this country do. But she's MY sister. She needs to not have this to worry about. Feeling better about ourselves, feeling healthier is the goal. So, we've decided to take this thing head on and get over ourselves and do what God has placed on our hearts.

Now to the details......oh, you thought those were details? Oh my, this must be your first time reading my posts.

I have been trying to work in some sort of exercise each day, if at all possible. My daughter has suddenly taken on the desire to get in shape as well. She asked yesterday if she could go running. She's 10. I said, "no". She's 10. But we did compromise on a walk to the park with everybody that was home and took a frisbee and played around for a while and walked home.

Today, she wanted to walk again. Who knew my personal trainer was a 10 yo mouthy tomboy?! Just like her father! Except he's not 10 or a girl, so yea... So we walk, to the park. I decided at this point that I am feeling good and am ready to do it! I said, "Let's run, then walk, then run, then walk, over and over, like intervals." She was totally game! She's skipping as I'm running, little creep! Just kidding...I love her. It was a moment of wheezing weakness. My knees felt ok, my heart wasn't pounding the life out of my lungs, I was good. After the second interval I realized that something, something was awry. I walked a bit, then off to run. There it was again. What is that? I'm not running through the brush, but something keeps smacking me in the face! Ok, not really but it felt like it could. I didn't remember strapping on a feed bag before I left. No boxing gloves tied around my neck. What could it be?

You see, five kids later, 45+ pounds overweight, all that excess has to go somewhere. It did. In my braziere, my over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder! My over-inflated baby feeders had gotten out of control! Seriously? Seriously! Have you ever tried running with your arms crossed on your chest? It's weird. Odd. But I figure it would save me from having to explain to my husband why I have two black eyes.

I've researched what I need. I found it. I don't think it's worth losing weight to have. Although, cheaper than a treadmill. Investment? You decide:

The Last Resort

Thank goodness it's cheaper online! It's $114.00 in the catalog! It is 5 barbell rated! Whatever the heck that means! If you click on the link you must read the reviews.

This getting in shape thing is expensive!

Please dear Lord, help me through this. I've tried and failed so many times. Please help my sister through this as well. We want to be healthy. Place your mercy upon us! Help this time go by fast. AMEN!!!!

For you, you know who you are

No, I don't think so, yes, I do....

Why do I conform to the conversation of the day? What is it about me that thinks being on both sides of the fence is a good thing? Sometimes my emotional state of the day puts me in the mode of wanting to be pleaser to everyone in everything. "I am very confused." That's how I should've started my input into the conversation.

My church is struggling right now. Our pastor is on sabbatical, our giving has been down for months with the economy the way it is, everyone is sad...... For months now, I have been contemplating our contribution to the church and if we are in the right place for us. Of course, I should probably be leaning more towards where God wants our family to be. We do both sides of the fence. We participate in another church's programs for our kids and etc. because our church doesn't do "programs". Don't get me wrong, we have a youth ministry that my kids attend, but it's a separate group from the church. It's weird really. Not the youth group, the way our church handles programs that we don't call programs. The leaders of these programs are encouraged to do it, but not supported by the church in commitment or attendance. Like "isn't that cute they're doing a women's ministry. It's darling, but I'm not going." I use to know how I felt about this, now I'm waivering. What to do..... our children really like our church worship service, but love to participate in the other church where their friends are attending. I often feel as though I could use a break from EVERYTHING and

melt into the background of this other church. That's when I start to question my motives of moving to another church. Why? What is the purpose? Have I done what I've been asked to do at my church? Am I running from my responsibilities because it's too hard, too inconvenient, too.....what? Am I conforming to the way other Christian brothers and sisters see their journey? I loathe conformity.

Hmmmm...I don't hear me talking much about God's glory here. I thought I was living for that? What am I teaching my children? What the heck am I doing? I'll tell you what I'm doing, I'm getting on my knees for this church. I'm asking for wisdom beyond understanding to know what I need to be doing.

I love my church family. I feel God moving within our small but dysfunctional group. What next? How is God gonna work through this time of weirdness at our worship center?

Dear Lord, please grant me the wisdom, the supernatural wisdom, to know where to place my feet step after step. I want to worship you. I want to glorify you. I don't want to step out on convenience and ooey gooey feelings. I want to experience you in a different way. I'll promise to be a servant while I wait, God. Thank you God for your mercy and grace.

Mediocrity

So, mediocre... what is it? Is it a vegetable, no that's okra..... Is it a color? Is it a state of being? Is it a lifestyle? Could it be you? Could it be your work environment? Could it be your worship environment? Is it not worth discussing? It's just too demanding and hard to fix so let's just leave it and get away from this situation. And thus, mediocrity grows ten-fold. It's a tricky little disease. It gets in without anyone knowing it and starts to eat away at you, your friends, your environment and before you know it, it has taken over.

In the world today, so many are used to getting something for nothing. Not having to sacrifice time or talent to obtain much. It's a practice that has marinated our souls deep into our beings becoming a part of who we are in every aspect of our lives. The bible gives instruction on quality when it comes to living our lives as Christ did, but we don't follow completely. We make adjustments, justifications, etc. according to the differences in biblical times and modern times and the differences between cultures and denominations. It remains the same no matter what time period or cultural background you hail from. God wants your all. God wants your best. God wants you to bring it. Can you imagine if a starting quarterback for an NFL team showed up to Monday Night Football and just said, "You know coach, I just don't feel like it tonight. I mean, I'll go out there and throw it, but don't ask me to do anything else, I just don't want to. I specifically had it written in my contract that if I totally don't feel like playing that I can play the worst game ever and you still pay me millions. Got it?" Hmmmm. I don't know if that is too far fetched really.

It starts within your heart. I'm sorry, let me say it again...it starts within YOUR heart. Let it get your blood pumping when you don't bring your best to throw yourself on the floor and beg for mercy and forgiveness for not bringin' it to the field. We're not messing around here anymore. Jesus DIED for you. Jesus didn't take a hangnail for you and me, he DIED, and I can't seem to bring myself to bring my best to the table? What the stars is wrong with me? Besides monthly hormones and the obvious physical hurdles, I should want to lose weight and be the healthiest disciple I should be for the one who died for me to be fat. Seriously? Why am I so ok with mediocrity? Why do I refuse to do anything about my own mediocrity while pointing out others mediocre leadership? I cannot do anything about them except live my life in such a way that striving to do excellence becomes the goal and not just being mediocre because that's what everyone is doing so it must be ok. Surely excellence breeds excellence at a higher rate of speed and metabolic rate than mediocrity does, right? Let's give it a try, shall we? We must be very careful to not be so ok with mediocre that those around us assume that it is what life is all about. If I continue to speak the hope of the Jesus Christ in my life but continue to be less than what God has gifted me to be, then my hope is not in Him, but in me. Do I really think that God doesn't know or doesn't care that I don't bring it?

I will stand no longer for the lie that its ok for me to justify why I don't bring my best to the throne room. I will no longer keep becoming this half done Christian. No more mediocre motivational speaker. I want to do my best, and to be honest with myself and my God about what my best really is. I want to check in with the coach upstairs and make sure I am leaving no stone unturned for any reason. I have been given a commission, a GREAT one. My Christ died for me to follow Him and His will not my own. People are lost because I have turned out the light during the darkest times.

Dear God please forgive me! Thank you for your mercy and grace in my absent mindedness. Lord, don't let another person pass my way without knowing the hope and peace that lies within you. Help me to bring it every time. Help me to know that even in my down days that I can still bring my best for you. My best is not perfect, I know that. My best is different from my friends' best, please help me not to compare. Lord, my best is what you deserve. I am so sorry for keeping it from you and your work and your will and your lost sheep. Here I am Lord, use me!

Philippians 4:8

⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

^{I Chronicles 21: 22-24}

²² David said to him, "Let me have the site of your threshing floor so I can build an altar to the LORD, that the plague on the people may be stopped. Sell it to me at the full price." ²³ Araunah said to David, "Take it! Let my lord the king do whatever pleases him. Look, I will give the oxen for the burnt offerings, the threshing sledges for the wood, and the wheat for the grain offering. I will give all this." ²⁴ But King David replied to Araunah, "No, I insist on paying the full price. I will not take for the LORD what is yours, or sacrifice a burnt offering that costs me nothing."

Beautiful, cause that's the only way to say it

There are many things around each and every one of us that are aesthetically beautiful. God has painted a palette of color and has danced them around in all things that we can see everyday. We often take those things for granted, until they change colors and become something we overlooked previously. Fall leaves, butterflies, etc.

Sometimes we have to look beyond the obvious, but the beauty still remains. Two of my bestest peoples in my life happened to be married to each other. They, by themselves, are attractive, Godly, great people. They, as a single married unit, are one of the most stunningly beautiful creations I've ever seen. Knowing them for several years I've seen them go from irritating each other worse than poison ivy to only being able to bloom in each others presence. E & B have crawled around in the ditches of life with each other, succumbed to the chrysalis of being one and have emerged as a wonderful reminder of what marriage is.

B talks about his wife in such a sweet manner. Holding her up in a light of respect and it's so obvious his love for her. And E is quite an amazing wife. She being a vegetarian and allergic to dairy oddities cooks for he and the kids such amazing courses of food daily, containing things she can't or choses not to consume. She nurtures, teaches, loves so unselfishly. Granted we all have our moments of fit and turmoil, but she knows....she loves, she does it so well. B talks about how wonderful his wife is when it comes to their marriage, she let's nothing tear it up. Nothing. We can all let things come between us sometimes.... "E lets us fight about it and argue, then NEVER again is it EVER brought up. The fight is fought all of the way through right then and there. No questions asked and then I never have to worry that it will come between us again, because she knows and doesn't let it penetrate our solid marriage again." The way he talks about her and she about him is a testimony to how they have let God paint their marriage. Beauty people. Beautiful love in a beautiful marriage. God is the center there and it shows.

Sometimes we must look deeply around us in the nooks and crannies of our lives to understand beauty on a much deeper dimension than we're used to. Peering around the peeling colors of fall, into the icy blues and crisp grays of winter to realize that beauty lies deep within our lives and those relationships around us. My marriage outnumbers theirs by three times as long. I am still waiting to paint the picture of love and beauty that they do. It's not in your face, it's not a constant reminder of how I have failed, but a slow, steady, warm cup of cinnamon tea that encourages me to be a better wife and mother. Beauty.

The chicken or the egg?

Being a part of a small church has pretty much been my life. I have never been a member of a really large place, not out of dislike, but just wasn't where God led me to be I guess. I love my church and its people dearly. This is a hard economic time and like small businesses everywhere our small church has its belt tightening going on. So there are still the calls for us to move and grow and invite and encourage others to know Jesus in a very personal way. As we prepare our church building and its inhabitants it all becomes cloudy and gray to some. "Why must we paint? Why must we plant flowers? Why must we _______________? Don't you know we have a crisis here?" It's so hard to continue to be active in our lives when the world around us is falling apart and losing ground financially. I can definitely think of better ways to spend "my" money....if it was truly mine. But God calls on us to do His work and His will with His money. In all honesty, it's not nearly as much about the money as it is the heart. Alright already, moving forward, moving on.

I was listening to a pastor last night preaching on being caught in a "growth" seminar at a church early on in his career. So, he was young and considered not-so-smart yet and well, mouthy. He saw that the seminar took an odd turn from growth for the church body to growth for the church's bottom line. He asked the pastor who was teaching, "so if we evangelize to the community and 1000 people give their lives to Christ, would we still be ok if they decided to go to a different church? I mean, Jesus still wins right?" The seminar was over at that point for this young pastor. He moved on. He had more to do than to just sit in a seminar trying to figure out how to grow the bottom line.

So, do we sit and wait for those who need Christ to find us in our seminars or in a fetal position in the church sanctuary corner? Or do we become active in our communities and in our churches?

I'm done playing chicken!

I'm hungry for Christ, so scramble me some of them eggs would ya?

Irony

You're kidding right? Check out this article:

The Berlin Wall

I love U2 and am fairly certain Bono will have a statement. It'll be interesting to see how this plays out. If at all.

Sweet dreams.......

My sweet daughter is ill. Not bad attitude ill, but "I don't feel good mommy" ill. I hate it, no, double hate it when she's sick. Partly because she is my last one and my only girl and my baby forever and I don't want her to be sick, ever. Another part of me goes to a place of when she was born completely "wet" in her lungs and had to snort a nasal canula for a couple of days and then we had 5 years of upper respiratory distress, breathing treatments with albuterol that made her chest beat like an african tribal drum during some odd ritual. It was fast and hard and she would stare at us as if to say, "just make it better" but she hardly talked during thses times, she was too worn out.

I remember lying in the bed with her and listening to her trying to breath and feel like I was going to pass out, then realize that I had been holding by breath trying to catch up to her and help her out. It was the worst feeling ever. We moved to NC and she grew out of her respiratory illnesses within two years. I do know how lucky I am. I realize that there are many out there that deal with these issues and lots worse everyday forever. But you know as I do that when its your child, the world fades into the sidelines.....and there we are, in the sidelines.

I rarely call those memories to the surface until she is sick and those come bubbling up to the surface and there I am trying to cuddle my very tall 10 year old as she stares at me to make it better. She doesn't even realize that she has gotten too big for me to sufficiently snuggle her in my arms and on my lap anymore, but neither of us really cares.

The greatest feeling is having her wiggle and move her little self up beside me with her shoulder under my arm and her head on my shoulder and off we go to dreamland, where laps are always big enough and arms are just right and the snuggles are the best in the world. Memories that I hope she has of her childhood.....

I praise God for the blessings of my children and the wonderful memories I have so far in their lives and the ones to come. Thanks, God!

I pray for a rapid recovery for my little one as she heads to bed soon, tucked away under the covers dreaming of the perfect day in her little life. No doubt full of creepy crawleys, friends and an occasional snuggle or two.

Sweet dreams darlin'!

God is intentional

The road to H#$$ is paved with good intentions.....

What about the road to heaven?

I believe that it's paved with God intentions.

I kept receiving this overwhelming feeling on our beach extravaganza. God is intentional. All He does is intentional. How dare I question His plan, His presence, His motivation, Him. There are verses upon verses in the bible that reaffirm His presence in our lives every day. It even outlines many times over how we can pray, how we can reach out, how we can cry out, how we can groan. All with the result of a God who loves us beyond our comprehension and attends to our every need each day with discernment and grace and, thank you Jesus, mercy. His intentions are not on a whim. They were well thought out before I was a thought in the mind of my parents, or for that matter of their ancestors. God's got it all worked out. He's got my back. I am safe and secure in His arms no matter where I am or what dark corner I may have put myself in. Thank you God for your wonderful plan for me, whatever it may be! Thank you for even thinking about me and my life and how I can actually fit into your plan as tattered and odd I may be.

My life would be in a certain downward spiral if it weren't for the knowledge of God the Father, the Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ who gave His LIFE for me. How dare I become down and embittered by my surroundings, by my own actions that put me here. Pray out of the ditches girl! Cry out! Groan for heaven's sake! God's got it. HALLELUJAH, IN THE NAME OF JESUS! (You have to say it like Les!) In the NAME of Jesus!

Bare, raw and hidden away

Like a cancer, dormant mostly,

When it flairs up it eats away at me,

I feed it poison and it goes away for now,

Leaving me swollen and bloated and sad.

Although I know the cure,

The answer lies within the Word,

The path is visible and well lit,

I just forgot my shoes and am fearful of stones.

God has promised good to me,

Why do I not trust more easily,

Why do I need reminding of His glory,

Why am I so damned entitled to get the answer?

My ears ring at the sound of a whisper

My heart aches at the thought of future breaks

I am feeding it again and only want to be free

How can I save myself from myself?

Only God knows how

Only God loves as He loves

Only God can do it

Only God.

Ok, so the women's retreat....

I have been putting off what to say here because I just don't think I can do it much justice. The third annual Women of Worship Beach Retreat took place at Ocean Isle Beach, NC on October 22-25, 2009. You may have felt the earth move that weekend and wondered what in the world was going on and I wanted you to wonder no longer.

Close to 40 women traveled from Ohio, Virginia, and various cities in North Carolina to participate in a Christian women's retreat. Noone argued, fought, pulled hair, made cat hissing noises or any of the like. The Holy Spirit dropped by for the weekend and surrounded us with an amazing glory unknown to any of us previous to this trip. A blessed time for us all.

Learning to live without the veils we tend to decorate ourselves with hiding our real selves from the outside world but also hiding God's glory living within each one of us that others can't see because of our veils. Learning to shed the cocoon and spread our wings like the beautiful butterflies we all are. Made in God's image, reflecting Christ's glory.

I am working through some things about myself that I have learned on this trip. Things I have known about me, but didn't really want to deal with fixing or praying for God to help fix. My fellow attendees on this trip were from 7 different churches and different denominations. Some were rather radical in their worship, some more subdued, some in the middle, and nobody cared that we were all in different places in our journeys and our worship styles. How wonderful.

God has such a way of gently bringing us into the throne room for a little chat. I have been pretty confident up to this point about my journey and the path that I am on. I found myself double checking myself and my relationship with the man upstairs during the weekend. I thought we were pretty close. As a matter of fact, I thought we were pretty tight. I have come to the realization that I have a lot to work on. I can no longer go through my days "pretending" that I am a Christian. Putting on my Christian face with the Christian makeup and the Christian clothes and living my Christian life without really living it to its fullest. I have so many doubts and questions. I, however, know that the answer is simple and the plan is easy to follow. It's the action of pursuing the activity that brings the answer into a clearer light for me. I'm a lazy follower. I want him to know what my "hallelujah" sounds like. What it looks like from me. Although the fact that I question what that will look like, feel like and sound like just makes it very clear on what an adolescent I am in my walk with Christ.

I am questioning my spirit, which is good and healthy for me. It's the most mature thing I've done in awhile to actually take part in my OWN journey. I am not looking forward to the things that God is going to work through in my life and what they may do to those around me. I don't believe it will feel very good in the midst but I know that I will ultimately be closer to my God that loves me no matter what.

None of us are here by chance. We all have a purpose one to the other. Our lives, past and present are to be lived to the glory of God and to be witnessed to others so that they see the hope and future that Christ has for each of us. I'm scared. I'm worried. I cry thinking about it, because I hate heartbreak and pain even when I know it will mean growth and salvation for someone.

Dear Heavenly Father, take it easy on me........please, just this once and I swear I'll live exactly as I should every day.......lol!

The beach was a magical time for me. Although questions remain in my own walk I would do it again right now. As a matter of fact, I am ready for next year! Bring on the sand! I am not done talking about this trip. Beware of more to come! LOL!

HALLELUJAH!