Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Blossoms and Leaves

I love spring.  I came to the realization today of one of the reasons I like it so well.  The trees are so gorgeous!  Whether they are leafing out or blooming like crazy.  However, there are some trees that I cannot stand to smell.  They have a sort of "manliness" to them that make me gag.  (I won't post it here.....well, maybe sometime, to explain.)  

Anyway, its amazing how much more clothed the world seems to be in spring.  I mean houses that were revealed through the nakedness of the winter cold and barren trees are now hidden behind the softness and baby growth of the strong timbers that birthed them.  I love being in that camouflage peering through as if spying on the rest of civilization.  

It's like God has once again wrapped his loving arms around us in a beautiful tapestry of color and grace.  The pinks and greens of spring will soon give way to the vibrant reds and oranges of my liking that announce that summer is on the way.  

The boisterous colors will be displayed over so much more real estate, like my backyard garden.  Where the tomatoes will bloom and sugar peas will climb and burst into color and fruit.  Where carrots will green and soften the harshness of the red NC mud underneath.  Corn will burst towards the sky and silks will blow in the wind reaching for the sunshine and catch the morning dew and applaud at the drops of water falling daily.  I just wish I remembered this feeling of excitement when I am wintering over. 

God is preparing the soil through the winter.  Warming the bulbs of the Iris' and Tulips to bring them to a heartier fruition in the dawn of April.  He does this for us, too, ya know.  Takes us through our pruning, our dying back of our green, luscious leaves to the dark underground of our lives.  He takes us there to nourish us through that winter in our world, that cold, dark, windy, brisk, chill-to-the-bone time.  Because in that darkness is the nourishment that He can only give.  The nourishment that would've been wasted on blooms and leaves and growing things.  The nourishment that enhances the deepest and strongest roots.  It's not necessarily strength for the next springtime of our lives, but the next winter.  The one where we will be more prepared, equipped, ready and able to handle the cold and the darkness.

Thank you God for your infinite wisdom in my life.  Thank you for helping me to winter over and see the spring.  Thank you for giving us life, eternal life, where love springs eternal as well.  Thank you God!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Learning from her

I am an extremely lucky woman.  I am married to the most wonderful man ever.  He loves me.  The whole me.  Even the parts I don't love.  Now, that's true, unconditional, Godly love for another.  As I continue to marvel in the maturity of my boys and their journeys through their lives with the Heavenly Father, it causes me to wonder about my hubby.  A lot of people grow and mature and become amazing human beings even though they may have had an awful childhood.  My husband's childhood was not horrid, at least he has never eluded to that at all.  He has been through his share of trials and tribulations.  He suffered the loss of his twin brother at the age of 2 1/2 and still to this day feels as though that part of him is missing.  The relationship between twins is such an amazing one.  His parents were divorced shortly after his brother's death.  His other 5 siblings used to torture him as any good older sibling does.  But here is the thing.  What I have learned of his mother and from his mother, my mother-in-law, is nothing short of remarkable.  

This woman is a beautiful, wonderful soul.  She did what it took to make sure her kids were provided for, even if that meant multiple jobs and missing out on lots of "firsts" to do so.  When I first met Marge, I was, well, a little spoiled Southern girl who had stolen the heart of her baby boy.  David was the last of the kids, the baby.  She was gracious and polite.  I am sure I was "nice in a Southern way" which means my heart and mind were probably not as sweet as the tea I was used to drinking.  Marge was/is/will always be a nurse.  She and her hubby live on a working farm in Southern Colorado where hard work was invented.  So she held down her day job caring for others and her weekend/evening job of planting/weeding/harvesting on the farm.  There was always lots to do and work was NEVER done.  David and I moved out there with 3 kids in tow and she and hubby let us bunk with them for 3 months.  They were always doing that.  Opening their home to those of us dreamers who wanted to brave the wild, wild west for ourselves.  I was nervous and sometimes overwhelmed by the rugged personality Marge possessed daily.  I cried a lot and called my mother a lot and whined and toughened up and opened my eyes and grew up and grew a set and put on my big girl panties and learned so much from her and grew to love her.  Not because she was my husband's mother and it was expected of me, but because she loved me and took me under her wing when I was so far from home and from everything I knew as safe and perfect.  I learned that home was where my husband and I were and perfect was unattainable, but working to do my best was admirable.  I learned how to sow and harvest and in the in between times be patient while God grew what was under the soil into something delicious.  Both in the garden and in my heart.

She grew up going to a Catholic school so attending church is pretty much a no-go for her.  She didn't talk about God much.  I believe the nuns must've done it in for her.  But she believes, so beautifully, that God is the maker of her universe and the lover of her soul.  Many times in my immature rantings of worries and doubts in my life, my marriage, my kids, etc. she would pipe up and say, "Where is your faith?  Don't you know that God is going to take care of you?  He will provide for you always!"  Never did I expect my spiritual journey to be brought back on track by my mother-in-law.

Marge taught me to can food, freeze the harvest, cook and stop whining.  She was blunt and to the point and never held anything back.  Honesty was her policy, even when you really didn't want it.  She showed me that it was ok if my kids got dirty, and dirty was an understatement!  I remember how I used to wipe every crumb off of their hands and faces and follow them around doing so.  One day I returned home to find the kids covered in mud from head to toe and alive.  Yea, they hadn't died or become sick or anything from the large doses of dirt and water and goopy mud in every crevice of their little bodies.  

I will always respect my mother-in-law.  I will always love her.  I only hope she knows how much I appreciate her and her willingness to let God work through her to shape my life.  I can only hope that my boys will be as wonderful as hers and will make their wives as happy as I am because of her hard work and values she instilled in her son.

Thank you God for my family.  My beautiful, wonderful family.  Help me to let them know how much I appreciate them daily.  Thank you God for knowing what was good for me, even when I thought I had it all figured out.

Titus 2 

1You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. 2Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.
 3Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
 6Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. 7In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness 8and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Whistle while you work

My 10 yo daughter has learned to whistle.  She practices all the time.  Stopping long enough to say, "I love to whistle!"  Then right back at it.  It's such a Christopher robin moment for me.  I love to encourage her interests and watch her grow through her adventurous experiments, whether whistling or exploring nature.  So beautiful.
Like watching first steps.  Listening to first giggles.  Wiping the first tears from heart break.  Bandaging the first (of many) scrapes.  Enjoying the first of many lectures on all she's learned. So, I pray that her whistling never ceases.

My 16 yo son was waiting for me at the door last night.  "You have to come here.  You have to see something." I was excited thinking maybe he had folded the laundry and put it away and was wanting to show me how clean his room was....NOT.  But, it was so much better.  He led me to the computer and pulled this up:


I love my Elij.  He's at such a sweet spot in his life right now where everything is as it should be.  Laughter spews out of each sparkle in his eyes.  He bats those big beautiful eyes with those ten inch eyelashes and I was basking in the glory of my kids and their beautiful lives.  What an awesome God we serve.

I'm loving the whistling and the laughter in my house again.  The simplicity of it all humbles me to my very core.  I was created to be the mother of 5 amazing humans.

God bless your day.  God bless your whistling.  God bless your laughing.  God bless your tears.  God bless.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Under Construction

"Where have you been?"  I know, I hear ya.  I have not been slacking in the blog department, really.  I have written many blog posts.  So many that I don't know how or what to post.  Why?  Because I have been having some "work" done.  Ha!  I wish it was that kind, not really.  Little nip here little tuck there.  More like heart surgery, the spiritual kind.


I have been exercising the oldest rule known to man, implemented by your mother..."If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."  (Although, it is my narcissistic blog, right?)  But, I could only write really whiny things that I would've been looking for validation.  (Again, narcissism abounds.)


I must say that I have had a lot of time to think about the crap that exudes past the strongest muscle in my body, my tongue, and thought that maybe I should tame it a little in order to gain some credibility.  However, I am not apologizing for my views, or opinions, or random things that may have rubbed someone the wrong way because these words are me.  All of the good, the bad and the really boring.


I have found strength in the quiet.  A calm period to let the cement cure.  God has come into my life during this time to reaffirm my life as a mom and a wife and a friend and a daughter of the Almighty Father.  I know what I do is, by many opinions, downright unpopular.  Being a SAHM.  A homeschooling mom.  A mother who puts high biblical and moral standards on her children.  However, I thank God today for my ability to be close to my children, in proximity and spirit.  I thank Him for the provision He has allowed me to take on three jobs to help me to stay where I am.  It's not the ideal for most, but it's the decision that my hubby and I have decided is the best for our children and our family.  I cannot praise God enough in this area of my life.  Most of the time I feel beaten down all around me, then God reveals himself in my patient endurance and I'm amazed at His love and contagious joy.  Thank you God!  Hallelujah!  You are Jehovah Jirah!  I am your faithful servant.  Here I am, take me.


My husband told me that I was an awesome mom.  Let me tell you, that enabled the "I could kick Arnold Schwarzeneger's butt" instinct!  I was empowered by him.  God is at work in this family and I am humbled at the chance to watch it happen.  Thank you God for all you have done for us!


Then the affirmation for the One himself who empowers us to be parents of good character:


 "Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." -Deuteronomy 6:5-9

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