Front Porch Ramblings

Prayer

2012-02-01T06:57:00.001-08:00

Dear Lord,
Help me to find the time to read your word, pray with you, spend time with you alone, love, live, laugh, blog, run, smile, etc.
AMEN!!
love,
me

2011-11-07T08:26:00.001-08:00

Who are you on the inside?

2011-11-02T07:44:00.000-07:00

My life is in a constant state of movement. Which is the way I roll, til recently. I have just wanted to do nothing but sit on my rear and watch things go by. I don't want to leave the confines of my home, yet I don't want to be here and I definitely don't want to do anything, i.e. housework. Part of my day is busy with baby squeezins on the cutest little 6 month old that isn't from my gene pool. She's a cutey patootie! Then when she's sleeping, like now, I just want to check out. Don't want to think about all that is going on around me, even those things that need my attention, like my housework, my online class, my follow ups on different things, etc. All of which are important, but for some reason I just don't care much about any of it. I want to be laying on the beach today. Yesterday it was the mountain cabin in Colorado which is nice, but the beach is closer and most likely more attainable to actually do. But yet again an unrequited dream for today.

Then the butterflies in my stomach start to flutter incessantly and I want to find something to change my focus before I curl up in the corner and start to cry. A few tears will fall and my stomach ends up in my throat and I can't deal with that right now, so I try to stuff it all back down and just swallow really hard. And, there, back to normal, or whatever normal is for now. But then the nausea sets in and I wish I were crying again, but not really.

My children are wonderful. For two of them, they are not my life's work anymore and I'm not sure how to appropriately train my brain and my heart to realize that letting go and letting God is exactly what I need to get used to doing for them now. My role has changed from a teacher to a nurturing mentor. Which basically means knowing when to keep your mouth shut.

The above Italicized piece of my post was written months ago, but is exactly what I am still feeling today. It's ludicrous, my attitude. I have no reason what-so-ever to be so negative and in such a bad mood all of the time. Want to know why? Community. My life of people around me. Those whom God has placed in my midst at the perfect time for me to glean from, listen to, be encouraged by. But what do I do? I continue to stay in my poor pitiful me mood and believe the lies that are whispering in my ear and trying to force them to be my reality when I know its totally untrue.

I have:

-A husband who tells me all the time, "I love you." "You're beautiful." And who constantly wants to be with me.

-A friend who reminds me every time a see her when I ask how she's doing, "I am choosing to be good" that it is my choice to decide what kind of crappy attitude I am going to have or if I am going to choose to be different today.

-Friends and family who constantly make me feel comfortable having them over, when my house is a complete mess, they just turn their eyes and enjoy the fellowship of each other.

-Friends who are always complimenting my cooking.

-Besties that I can text my crappy attitude woes and they offer me Starbucks!!!

-Brothers and a sister who always say they love me.

-A mother who always wants to hang out with me and help me with my housework and I make her sit and talk, instead (why do I do that?)

-A dad who would literally drop EVERYTHING for me if I asked him to do so.

-A job that allows me to smile at a baby everyday and she smiles at me regardless of my crankiness.

-A set of friends who bring their baby to me everyday because they trust me to care for her and love her like they do and they constantly tell me they appreciate me.

-Children who love me, laugh with me, put up with me, call me and call me mom, momma, mother.

-A God who loves me enough to orchestrate all of the above just for me, each and every day of my life.

I am ungrateful and so unworthy of all my blessings through the people in my life. But God is aware of that too and He sends them anyway. I pray that I will continue to add to this list daily and come to appreciate and reciprocate what God has done for me by doing for others. I am blessed to be within the warmth of the blanket God has woven for me. The blanket weaved from those souls, believers and unbelievers, that God believes to be useful in my life if I would just stop listening to my own selfish lies and start hearing the music around me in these people. I intend to turn up the volume today and lend an ear to the truth.

“‘I saw the Lord always before me.

Because he is at my right hand,

I will not be shaken.

^{²⁶ Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;}

my body also will live in hope,

^{²⁷ because you will not abandon me to the grave,}

nor will you let your Holy One see decay.

^{²⁸ You have made known to me the paths of life;}

you will fill me with joy in your presence.

-Acts 2:25-28

Escaping and panic attacks

2011-08-17T10:11:00.000-07:00

If it were up to me, today, right this minute, my reality would consist of sitting in a cabin, a small one, in the woods of Colorado watching the Aspen trees ready themselves for autumn. Yep, when I close my eyes to have my Calgon moment it is that scene playing in my head. So what's wrong with that? Nothing really, except that it just seems cruel to be there every time my eyes close. Those stupid desires and dreams we have in our lives taunting us. Why does God let me have these desires knowing we cannot fulfill them. I want to sit on the front porch with the chill of the air lingering til mid-morning. Stay curled up in a Woolrich blanket and sip my fourth cup of coffee. Homeschool my children using every book from The Lamplighter reading into the night by candlelight and the warmth of the woodstove roaring in the corner. Sounds pretty dang awesome, right? Ok, some of you might not think so, but it sounds like nothing short of heaven for me and I'm pretty sure that my husband would be right there with me on this one. But, really, back to the original question, "what's wrong with that?" Nothing really. Most people live their lives the way that they want to without thought or regard to much else. I'm for the "what about me" attitude right now, cause I'm in that mood so brace yo-self. Here's my 12 month plan. Yea, life's too short for the 3 year version.

Plan:

Save money

Buy property for cheap in Colorado

Build log cabin, open floor plan, minimalistic furnishings

Move into above cabin

Plant garden

Watch children and garden and marriage grow into something amazing

Can every fruit and vegetable under the sun

Hunkerdown for winter

Light fire in woodstove

Buy more Woolrich accessories

Crochet entire wardrobe

Start learning how to use a loom

Shovel snow off of roof

Get ready for spring

Start over again for the next 12 month plan

A great list, of course a little too much about tactics and less about concepts...... I struggle so hard with wondering why I can't have this life. No, really, it's quite sad. Will I be on my death bed with regrets in this area? IDK. Here's why. I believe in a God, a wonderful, omnipotent one. One that has laid out for me a plan for my life to follow His will in my life. While God is definitely everywhere I go, like the mountains of Colorado, my heart just feels suffocated sometimes by the life I lead. One of doing the "right" thing, living my life honoring God and walking the road he wants me to travel. I know that He will provide for my families' every need, I know that, He has proven it time and time again. There are times that my hubby and I discuss how amazing it would be to be missionaries, anywhere. Or to travel from disaster relief to disaster relief and sharing the hope of Christ to those in need. But then through fear or laziness or lack of knowledge I cower in the corner of my mind and click my heels together wanting to just be in the solace of that cabin. That stupid, adorable, rustic, amazing cabin. I want to pray, but don't want to hear. Or maybe I will get the answer I desire. Or maybe my desire will morph to meet the will of the Almighty and when I open my eyes there before me will lie my desire.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

-Galatians 2:20

Status Updated

2011-06-23T15:07:00.000-07:00

I am a Facebook fanatic. Not so much to let others know what it is I'm doing every second of the day, but really just to keep up with friends and offer encouragement when I can. I take it on as a very different social media for me. Some join to find their soulmate or to reconnect with old friends or for networking, etc. I just like it because as I am locked away in my house most days it gives me a way to get out into the world while still sitting on babies and doing laundry. Sometimes, however, things come across that just really put into perspective how we are all in different places in our lives, whether spiritual growth or just plain existing in society. Here's the one that caught my eye today, names have been changed to protect the "friends" in my list:

Jane Doe Gooder: Ever done something nice for somebody and wonder why? I'm questioning myself right now!

Ok, let's get this straight. I used to live a life of "do", then wait for affirmation, then pat myself on the back, then do again and wait for more affirmation. But what happened for me was that when I didn't get the affirmation, my feelings got hurt, my heart hardened and I no longer felt like giving anybody anything. What was wrong with people didn't they understand the effort I put in to making their day better? Wasn't my gift amazing enough to deem a simple accolade? Then loud and clear in God's sweet and simple way, He asked the same of His gift to me. Wasn't my gift enough for you? But here is the difference. My attitude in giving was certainly not the same as the Heavenly Father's attitude of giving. He gave because He loved me. He gave because He wanted to give. I was giving to get, which is not giving at all.

Matthew 6:3-4 But when you give to the needy (or to those you love), do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing (give so often and so much that it becomes like breathing, involuntary), so that your giving may be in secret (even a secret from yourself). Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Forgive me for the parenthetical paraphrase, but it gets my point across through this scripture. Like breathing, you don't think about EVERY breath you take until its hard to breathe. I want to practice giving so I stop thinking about giving and it does not become hard to give.

So, update your spiritual status and let us all know "what's on your mind". Imagine if Jesus had a facebook and recounted everything through his status.

"Ungrateful people. Fed thousands then told them the Good News and they all left."

"Being crucified tomorrow. Probably won't be on here for a while. At least three days."

"Funniest thing happened today. I walked on water and Peter fell in. Too funny. LOL!"

Ok, probably not with that attitude, but ......

God bless your every breath today!

Love.

B-, C+ and She Daydreams in Class

2011-06-12T17:14:00.000-07:00

Most of my school years were described with the above, with some "talks too much in class" thrown in and a little bit of "she is a great student". Everything I needed to know I learned in ........ just rang through my head and frankly still does. I am such a daydreamer no matter where or what I am doing, my mind is wandering here and there. Things to do. Oh, why? Seriously, why? I can't take it with me when I leave this earth, so why? Thank goodness that pile of laundry will not follow me to the heavens! Although for my sis-in-law, she's love it. She loves laundry. Ick.

I have been on an average path my whole life. Eh, whatever. C'est la vie. Whatever shall be, shall be. It's killing my exercise routine among other things. I find my time sucked out of my day by things that I can't even recall their existence when I lay my head on the pillow rather than those things I really need to be doing, focusing on and making a priority. I love to sometimes be anywhere but where I am. Like I am more secure in the depths of my fantastic imagination than anywhere in my reality. It happens with my devotionals on a daily basis. I'm in God's word and daydreaming about what awaits me later that day. Or I justify multi-tasking my quiet time by doubling it up with reading my emails. You know, the subscribed daily devotionals...... yea, not the same.

I do not believe that the daydreaming process is a bad behavior inherently, but getting out of hand like mine does, it does become somewhat of a life sucking manifestation of my spiritual journey. When I find myself not staying on track with my daily quiet time and bible study I become distracted more easily and find that my daydreams become these thoughts of wild, weird, awful events and travels that just overwhelm my thoughts. Last few weeks I've been convinced that I have some sort of life threatening disease because of a strange pain I've never felt before. I have come to understand that the pain is derivative of the 15+ pound hunk of baby fat I tote around 10 to 11 hours out of the day. But because I have resorted to finding other ways to take up my time, i.e. Netflix, Facebook, randomness and have not stayed the course with my walk with God, I let in all kinds of negative influences on my life. I don't really know if I am disease ridden, but highly doubtful. What I do know is that I am going to need more of my Heavenly Father's influence in my life to cope with something like that. To bring me hope, joy. "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind" in Romans 12 is so true. Both ways, good and bad. You will transform your mind if you fill it with drivel, you will get slime and sludge and nothing of substance. If you fill it with the all powerful wisdom from the God above you will find hope and peace and joy in this crazy life here on earth.

I'm up for the joy. How about you?

Christ brings us new life through the transforming power of his love. Take a moment this week. I am going to try. And try without daydreaming about silliness, but daydreaming about those heavenly things, that's where I'll start.

And then, there was this on my blog page to the right of my new post and I thought it was worth sharing here.

Eumorpha pandorus, yea bless you!

2011-06-05T18:30:00.000-07:00

This darling little (ha!) creature was hanging out on our screened door the other day at the crack of dawn because we forgot to turn off the front porch light from the night before. Holy moly. He, or she, was huge! Of course, I had to go wake up Sarah so she could take a look at it and do her normal researching to find out "what the world" it was. Hence the pictures that follow. Eumorpha pandorus, or otherwise know as the Pandorus Sphinx Moth, is it's correct identification. Pretty amazing creature. Even more mind boggling is that the caterpillar from whence it came is a bold red fat looking guy with white spots! God is amazing to detail, isn't he?

Then there was this guy:

We don't know exactly what in the world he was except really ticked off and very grouchy! Our cat tried to figure it out, but to no avail. It has monstrous looking pinchers and funky wings! It was on attack with those pinchers going crazy.

So, when Sarah is not doing her entomology, she has taken on a new venture!! Vegan dog treats! I would love to go into some wild story about wanting to get my dogs on a raw diet and what-not, but really it's just because I am too cheap to buy dog treats at the store and I had all of these ingredients in my cabinets!

So, here ya go:

1 1/2 cup water and 3 tbs vegetable oil in the mixer and mixed a bit.

Mix together 3 1/2 cups of whole wheat flour, 1/2 oatmeal, 1/2 cup of pumpkin seeds, 1/2 cup diced carrots, 1/2 cup diced celery in a separate bowl then add it to the water and oil and mix.

Roll out onto the counter after kneading it a bit. (Rolling it into the shape of the state of Louisiana is completely optional.) Roll about 1/4" thickness and cut into whatever shape floats your boat or butters your toast.

She was doing these for training bits, so small rectangles is what we were going for here.

The actual recipe said to cut into dog bones and she tried a few of those and was glad we did small rectangles for the rest!

And Virginia and Chantilly are happy campers so far!

Life, it's worse than I thought

2011-06-05T18:01:00.000-07:00

So, life's been busy around here. Yadda, yadda, yadda and all those other excuses of why I haven't blogged in weeks, months, a while.

So, yea, whatever.

It's all good. Ran a couple of races, but my running has dwindled to a halt, until my schedule lets up enough for me to get some sleep and wake up early to do it! Ok, enough excuses with that too.

Working keeping this cutie pie below, homeschooling, housework, veganizing the fridge, the garden and the bellies, etc.

Great news is that we have a garden this year and we have been harvesting mostly lettuce and radishes thus far, due to a late start, due to some other excuses I could plug in here, but won't. I did actually pick the first of our cucumber and squashes yesterday! How exciting is that?!

Life is good. Life is busy. Life is, well, life.

This picture of these sweet pea plants grabbing the fence is my favorite. Why, you ask? Well, thanks for asking and for reading all the way to the bottom today! Because this is how I feel right now. I feel as though I am constantly grasping on to the fence and wrapping my fingers around it so tight just to hang on! I've been wrestling with issues that I never thought I'd ever have to get in the ring with and do battle. I am shocked at myself. I sometimes look in the mirror as if it's a strange person standing there and just giving her that "what the heck are you doing" look. And there I am looking back not knowing where to begin to explain my actions or lack of action. It's weird. Holding on for dear life, looking down at the dirt below, scrambling up the fence just to get closer to the sun, or son, in my case. Wanting to feel the warmth on my face. Wanting to know the peace He brings. Wondering how I got here. Wondering how long I'll be here. Not letting go. Knowing that the answer lies in the climb. Holding on for dear life.

For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

~Matthew 6:32-33

Gone

2011-04-05T06:37:00.000-07:00

This describes so much of my life right now.

Top 10 (In no particular order) Gone Things:

1. My two oldest boys as they "live" and "love" in Colorado.
2. The race I've trained for since November is over and done with.
3. The 40 pounds I am to never see again.
4. Any clothes that actually fit.
5. My dreams of being "America's Next Top Model". I think my age did for me on this one. Hehe.
6. The ounce of sanity I once had. I now need to unbusy my life. I am feeling the effects of going, going, going.
7. My fear of dying while running a 10k.
8. The desire to consume large amounts of food. My appetite is quite tame now. Amazing.
9. The awesome cooking skills I used to have when searing a piece of meat. Now, just average. Oh well.
10. The want for the next thing. I am content where I am. God is good.

My competitive side? NOT!

2011-03-03T14:16:00.000-08:00

In my training for this 10k next month I have endured things unimaginable to myself. Never did I think I could run more than 2 minutes at a time, ha! Now we're running 50 minutes to over an hour! Never did I think I could run UPhill. This one makes me giggle. Really? Like you can't suck it up and get your booty up the hill, Shannon? Ok, so I'm a complete weanie-head in this area. So, my friend that is helping me train tries to find that one thing that will make me forget the pain, or lack of oxygen to my brain, that would motivate me to run the whole hill and not just give up and walk part of it. I realized something. I suck at being motivated to do something that causes me pain and makes me want to puke. Odd, isn't it? I know I need to do this to be in the best shape possible for this race. She has tried so hard to help me in this area. "Just imagine if Jesus is up there at the top holding out his arms waiting for you." Then I think, "but if its really Jesus then he will forgive my weaknesses and hug me anyway, right? Blessed are the weak who have to walk their big ole booty up the hill. That's biblical right?" Needless to say, it didn't motivate me. What does that say about me?! Then she moved on to other tactics. "Just picture your daughter up there needing her mother and you have to get to her in a hurry. Come on, she needs you. She's waiting." You know what I did? I let her down. I failed. I suck. Yep. You guessed it, I walked part of that hill. She literally had to get behind me and help me run by pushing me up the hill! Holy moly! Seriously, Shannon? You can't even be motivated by that? What does that say about me?! I got to the top and she cheered me on, but all I could think about was how I let my daughter down. How I made her wait because I was too out of breath or lazy or tired or sore to make it to her. I cried like a freakin' baby. WTheck?! Then as I was wallowing in my selfish self-pity tears running down the road I stepped to the edge of the road and twisted my ankle. BOOGERS!! Immediately in my undeserving beating up of my character God shoved me off the road with a great big, "Really? That's where you're going with this? It was only a scenario not the real thing! You know you would be running on adrenaline if it were true and you would've been there in lightning speed. Get a grip and turn it off!"

My character has been training as well during this time. Running is definitely a mental game. Learning how to run through certain situations no matter how painful or inconvenient it becomes is just a fact of life that I've had to work through. Amazing how it correlates to the rest of my life, my spiritual walk, my everyday stuff, etc. I'm learning how to suck it up. I'm also learning how to give myself a break, mentally. I'm also learning that my focus must always be on the Almighty Heavenly Father who is in control of all things.

I will remain thankful everyday for the opportunities I have to run, to walk, to eat, to breathe. Another day to continue to work in the will of God to his glory. What will it be today, God? How big is the hill? Bring it on. I think.

Like wearing a dozen snuggies

2011-02-17T19:23:00.000-08:00

I finally did it. I honestly didn't realize I had left it undone. Hadn't thought about it. Hadn't really crossed my mind at the top of the to-do list. But God is working on my character boldly and it was just there. In front of my face the whole time. Why had I waited so long? Why?

I packed up her clothes today. I actually walked into the closet where they lay on the shelves and hung on those cold plastic hangers, unworn for months. I had to. She was gone and was not coming back. I grieved for a moment. But...... life must go on. Why was I finding this so hard to do? You just can't hang on to her stuff any longer. She will have no use of it where she is. My life just moves on at this tremendously fast pace and I just hold on to the old stuff thinking it will ground me, save me, center me. I know this is pish-posh. I know that I will no longer have need of the memories. I don't even know why I keep thinking of her this week. This isn't a special week. It's not an anniversary of sorts or even remotely important, except that I am alive. I count my blessings each and every day that my life is granted another day from the good Lord above to do as He sees fit. I don't always treat my days with the reverence it deserves, mostly taking them for granted until mid-morning then that spirit wells up inside of me that reminds me that breathing is a privilege given by the Almighty Father. That song is playing in my head...."This is the air I breathe, this is the air I breathe, your holy presence, living in me...." I worship His very presence in my life today. Why is it so different today than yesterday? In some weird twisted way I have come to miss her here.

You see, the woman I used to be has died. The woman I am in Christ today is different that the one from months ago. I stared blankly into the mounds of clothes in my closet and wondered if I could do it. Was I ready? Was I going to once again fail and return to who I was hiding within myself and not letting God move through me? It had nothing to do with the weight, yet it had everything to do with the heaviness I was carrying around. Fear of rejection because I didn't quite fit in with the crowd. Constantly crossing my arms in front of me to hold my stomach in and my boobs up, hoping my artificial perkiness would trick them into thinking I had it all together! Huffing and puffing at every opportunity to step it up a bit and keep up with the kids, or walk up the stairs or just sing in church. In the moment then, I hated her or the me, I should say. I couldn't stand the sight of her in the mirror every morning. She made me depressed every single stinkin' day that I saw her reflection staring back at me. I knew it was me, but I prayed every time that the reflection would be different somehow miraculously changed into the one I used to know. She was in there and I could feel it, but I kept shoving her down deep and filling her head and her spirit with lies that the world whispered about her when they thought she couldn't hear.

The smaller version of me in my 20's had become like an old friend I once knew but never really kept up with. I often wondered if I'd ever see her again, if she would make an appearance one day when I least expected her. It wasn't her slender self that called to me like a siren, but it was the one who was not focused on her outside but longed for the relationship in the inside. Real. True. Relationship.

For some reason I had thought that I couldn't have that anymore because of how I was, overweight and pudgy and feeling slothful inside and out. Not true. My God told me that I was "fearfully and wonderfully made" and somehow I let the world, the real one and the one in my head, tell me otherwise. I had to tell her, the one in the mirror, to her face that I loved her. Even now it brings tears to my eyes to know that in order to change who I had become that I had to embrace me where I was and love me, all of me. I had to tell her that I thought she was worthy of so much more before she could leave. I drove her to her demise. I forced her away from myself and out into the abyss where other bad attitudes and negative behavior lives in an eternal purgatory.

My mind is free from her. Although she was a part of me for more than half of my life I know now that she had to leave and I had to be the one to make her go. It was scary and painful and still will be for a while. The wounds she left behind will take a while to sift through, but with the help of God I will sort them out and pack them away as well. I did love her, in all of her glory, but I have come to love me even more now. The me who can see clearly that even if life pukes in my lap I must thank God for life and praise Him through every storm. He is my one and only Redeemer. It is only by His grace and mercy that I continue to grow and that humbles me.

Please don't misunderstand me. I don't believe that skinny or healthy makes you better, by any means, on the spiritual front. I do believe, that for me, I had been hiding myself from God, as if He couldn't see the real me. I was making excuses for not walking in His will because I was too large, or too out-of-shape, etc. Like Moses begging for God to send the more eloquent Aaron. I have lifted the veil through the mercy of God to reveal to me a new day. One that has purpose and meaning and is not obsessed with how I would hide myself today but how I could glorify God today. I just knew in my heart that I could not do that and still continue to torture the me I was.

Now, back to the packing..... She's not coming back, so her stuff must go. Goodbye friend, my comfortable friend. I can't have you here anymore. Where shall I send your things?

What used to scare me

2011-02-16T07:44:00.000-08:00

Small reminders of where I've been and where I've come are daily reminders of how God moves through my life when I'm not looking. Just a few months ago I never would've thought I could keep up this vegan lifestyle and now I can't imagine ever going back to the way I used to eat. Not just that, but my husband has become this changed man through this process. He has cut back to almost a total vegan lifestyle and he says he feels really good!! Maybe I'll get him running with me too!!! My kids are almost there, not quite, but that's ok. They feel better and are making better choices when they're not with me of what is good to eat and not good for you.

Then the whole running thing has been a milestone in my life. Never did I think I could keep it up! Much less run miles at a time! In the beginning when we were doing interval runs of 1 minute walking, 2 minutes running I thought I would die right then and there. Two minutes running?! Really? Now, as the three of us embark on our 45 minute runs three times a week, we're topping 4 + miles and are amazed at how in the world we have come so far since October. It makes that 10K seem doable now. We're conquering the hills and clicking off the miles. I am so in awe of how God has worked through my character these last months of changing things around in my life. He is so good to me and my friends and family and watching him work through all of us is humbling and exciting.

I hope you will step out today and do something impossible in your eyes and watch how God works in all out for his will and his work. May God reveal it to you softly and you grab a hold of it firmly!

Awkward (very sing-songy voice)

2011-02-11T06:09:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I get myself into the weirdest spots. Like last night. Hmmmm.... what was I thinking?! Why do I do that? For free stuff, really? I don't even wear a ton of jewelry, nor do I think that if I was wearing blue jeans and a ratty old t-shirt that a "90 inches of fun" would make me acceptable to the local grocery store cashier that doesn't even know how to classify popular produce. "Is this a green pepper?" No, that's a green apple. Ok, a little dramatic on that one. But do I really look more put together with my pearls crocheted around my neck with my stained clothes? Does the bling make everyone blind to my lacking in laundry washing skills? And is everything really "fabulous", really? I think that's a stretch. I love the disclaimer that it will last forever if..... you don't let any child under the age of 5 handle it while its around your neck, don't wear it in the shower (really, you have to say that?), don't mow the grass with it on, don't sweat, on purpose, in it and if you do then be sure to immediately wash it in a mild soap and rinse immediately with warm water and dry and polish with a soft cloth and place in a dark climate controlled area when not in use. So, basically for me, just don't wear it.

I was totally blinded by the fact that I would get free stuff if I hosted a party for my friends. Ha! My friends saw right through the "don't wear it because it's not guaranteed if you do" clause and didn't buy enough for me to qualify for free stuff. A night of sparkly awkwardness for what? No free stuff. Dang! But, for a split second while I was modeling said jewelry I looked "absolutely fab"!!!

So, when I said last night that I would host another party, I lied. I flat out totally lied. I remember now why I don't do these things. With the exception of being able to hang out with my friends and family and eat hummus, but I really don't need to sell jewelry to do that.

God just asks of me to love others, not decorate them.

Treadmills and pork rinds

2011-01-31T17:58:00.000-08:00

I have learned the game at the YMCA or the Y as they like to be called now. Jesus is apparently too offensive for their marketing practices. Anyway, I do believe without a doubt that I am treadmill challenged. The treadmill use to be my main source of exercise a few years ago at 5 in the morning and we got along fine then. Now, its after me. I always feel a little odd about so many of us in one area all running like gerbils in a wheel, but the treadmill takes it to a whole new level. When I arrive at the treadmill we have a silent conversation between souls. I say, "do me right and help me to run 5 miles and burn a bagillion calories today, sir." He just stares back at me as if to say, "just get on and let's see where the conveyor belt lead us, shall we?" He has no sense of humor. My quick start has started and up goes the arrow button to kick me into a faster pace. I had never tried to actually run on the treadmill until the other day. I had always been so fearful of its power to launch me into the cycles behind me in some awkward spread eagle pose and totally throw Barbie off her pedaling strides. Wouldn't want that now would we? But this day was a new day. One of adventure. One of risks to be taken. I had walked really, really fast last time while chatting it up with Liz and had not realized that I had ripped something off my hip bone until later. My hip hurt so badly that day I thought I would have to go to rehab to learn to walk again, much less run. With ice packs doned daily I got my nerve back up to tame the horrible beast and this time I would run! Throwing caution to the wind I bumped him up to 4.6, yee ha, I was running on the treadmill. I happened to glance next to me at the gazelle's treadmill and she was pushing 6.8 and you couldn't even hear her run. How does she do it? I sounded like a stampede of horses running through the room and the treadmill was shaking like my washer does when the load is off balance. I kid you not, I think that machine shuffled a few inches to the right! How does everyone else run and the dang thing not move? I was embarrassed but I stayed the course, for one thing I was scared to death to slow down for fear of being thrown off. Then this teeny tiny little whisp of a thing climbed on the one to my left and pumped up her speed and got to going. I had to say a "thank you Jesus" cause she sounded like she had lead feet and I didn't feel so bad about my mobile treadmill anymore. I will tame that awful beast one day! I will prevail! The best part of the YMCA is the sauna. It lures me into the front doors knowing that just a short time later I can bask in the heat and pretend like a cabana boy is going to bring my drink shortly. Ah, the joys of exercise...... Now, to ice my hip!

Totally off topic:
After my run OUTSIDE tonight, freezing my buns off, I had to make a trip to the grocery store. Why do pork rinds get a middle of the floor display and gigantic signage? And why does the cashier not know the identity of my acorn squash? Then the navel oranges were in question... tsk, tsk, tsk...sad days at the local supermarket......

Can't fix stupid

2011-01-23T20:46:00.000-08:00

A retired high school Physics teacher, an author, a professor of religious studies, a doctor of theology, a preacher's wife, a retired physician, a retired engineer turned high school math teacher turned professor, a doctor's widow, a retired nurse and teacher, a dentist, a minister, a retired government worker, a homeschool mom and a stonemason flooring dude. What do all of these people have in common? Born in the same town? No. Stood in line at the same coffee shoppe? Doubtful. How about a book discussion @ the local scholar's hangout, of course. Duh. That last remark is telling of my maturity level in the room. I mean, what grown up really uses "duh" as a response anymore, right?

Anywho, this group convenes in a college town close to me. To drive through this town makes you feel slightly under educated. Oddly enough, I fell in love with the pillars and the grassy areas of this college town when I was very young. One of my earliest memories was coming here on one of our vacations to the lake house. Oh, just to lay soles to the sidewalks made me giddy. I loved the way you could just close your eyes and practically smell the pipe tobacco wafting from the open windows of the English department! I wanted to live there someday. That dream has changed. I like to visit, but I like my internal organs and the only way I could remotely afford to live there is if I started selling off pieces of myself.

My husband and I are attending this book discussion at the invite of my mother. Not sure yet whether to say "thank you" to her.... I'll let you know, mom. Just kidding. The room was filled with the heaviness of degrees upon degrees upon doctorates that attached themselves as part of the alphabet onto the backsides of each persons introductions. The room felt like one big comfy wool sweater with a tweed sport coat. I hung on every word that these folks seemed intent on getting across. Never in my wildest dreams will I ever feel like speaking in the group as to the discussion of the book. David and I have resolved to use the smile and head nods as our contributions to the discussion. An occasional note talking or doodling when the words become to large, so I won't forget to google the definitions later, will be the extent of my participation. Well, that, and actually reading the book.

The book is called, "The Language of God" by Francis Collins. I am only into the book a few pages, but am very excited to crack open the spine and carve indelible ink into the margins as I go. Francis Collins is the head of the National Institute of Health and the Human Genome Project. He is a believer in God and Jesus Christ as his savior. The subtitle reads, "A scientist presents evidence for belief". Born in the Shenandoah Mountains of Va and lived most of his life in NC, he and I have trod in the same paths along the way. That is where my comparison of my life and his ends. I am fascinated by the book's premise and am ready to see where God has led Mr. Collins.

The first discussion is done and there will be several Sunday evenings of joking about C.S. Lewis and pondering the importance of science and faith playing nice on the playground together. I feel certain the discussion will be lively and quite eye opening. After all, the backgrounds are diverse, the directions in which each of us think about science and faith are as vast as the universe itself. No, really, the Theology doctor was sitting beside the lady who said, "I pray like God is a person, but I really don't believe that, so basically I pray to the universe. Oh, and by the way, I will just be honest, I believe in reincarnation, too." Ok, then. This will be awesome! I just hope no one finds out I never actually graduated from college or I might get kicked out of class....

I am including a video of the author at a commencement speech at the University of Michigan. It really is quite entertaining and will make you want to know more about this book by way of his sense of humor! I hope you enjoy! God bless.

Warning: May Cause Bruising

2011-01-19T09:39:00.000-08:00

This concept of growing up is harrowing. I pride myself on being a grown up with childlike tendencies. I know when to act like a grown up, most of the time, and I know when to laugh and have fun. But in reality no matter how hard you try you can never avoid growing up. It requires vertical movement of time and the addition of years onto your age. Your stature changes as you mature and click off the next mark on the door jamb with the appropriate date, which proves you have grown an inch since the last measurement. You push your way through the educational system or out of the system and find yourself working or studying at a local university or hanging out with the peeps. But, you're still grown up. As this is a physical manifestation of time, what about the spiritual, mental, conceptual clicking of the secondhand? The growing out part?

I've had the privilege and the wonder to see this new vision of growing out in my children. I had never really thought of it that way, but that defines it much better for me. Growing out makes the world a bit bigger. You can grow a tree in the same small pot, but eventually it reaches it's full potential in that small pot and can no longer thrive. It may stay green, but it will start to look weak, stop producing fruit and just become sad. Amazing what a find you can get on the clearance rack at your local garden center because the plant "looks" dead. All it needs is to grow out. You have to replant from your small environment into the one you're meant to thrive. Leaving room for roots to spread and runners to shoot off and start their own plants here and there. Growing out.

John 15:2

He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.

It's this pruning part that brings us out of our infancy into a world full of fruit bearers and growth, reaching for the sun. As I watch my two older boys planting roots far away from me I become an emotional mess. On one hand I wish I were there to check up on them physically and make sure they had what they needed, pick up the slack, cook them a dinner or two. But then the pendulum swings and a sense of wonder fills my heart with being here and watching them grow out. Hearing how they've moved into the direction of growing out. How each has had their own challenges to meet, decide the course, take action and stay in motion. It brings my heart joy knowing that they desire to be in motion. The challenges haven't grown them up too fast, and haven't squelched the desire to move, but have given them the ability to continue to grow out. Reaching for the Son as guidance hopefully will be their goal.

In observance of my offspring, though, I have realized that I am also still growing out. I've lived in the illusion that once my kids were a certain age that I was pretty much an adult myself and that "growing up" or growing out was pretty much a slowed pace, almost a non existence. But no, I digress. This stage in my life of letting go of the parental in-house control and giving them up to the heavenly hosts to look after has been one of trepidation. But growing out with myself and being able to see how God works in their lives is a sweet front row seat ticket! It's that moment where your aren't dependent on your parents emotionally for growing out, but you grow out in spite of their presence. I still grow out with my mom by my side a lot, but not because I'm dependent of her for my growth, but because she likes the view and I like having her there to lean on for support, but not life support.

So, as the scars remain from the pruning I have experienced, they will remain for my children, as well. But the fruit, as a result of the pruning, tastes ever so sweet and is in such abundance that the scars become a "God and me" badge, one to add to my sash of badges. God knows what's best. He knows where you'll thrive the best. He knows how far away you'll be, but he knows we must continue to grow out. And the only way out is choosing to grow out instead of just growing up.

I hope you enjoy the warmth of the sunshine, the quenching rains, the stretching of your limbs as you continue to grow out.

Hurdles and all things that make your face hit the concrete....

2011-01-17T16:58:00.000-08:00

Ugh. Yea. It's pessimistic me, back again. I have been in the midst of training, or trying to train, for this 10K that is in April. I do like the exercise and the way I feel after! I hate the me that I am before I run. The one who whines all night before bed then wakes up hoping someone will call me with some great reason why I can't run today! I bitch and moan to my husband, who lovingly and sweetly rubs my back and brings me breakfast and coffee and kisses my forehead WHILE I'm pouting and tells me he loves me. I know when to pull out the pouting card, but he no longer buys into the rants. Dang it! I then go run downtown in front of everyone with the style and grace of Phyllis Diller with her cigarette. Old Lady style, ya'll, I got that down pat! I know the girls I run with want to shove me in front of the next garbage truck just to not hear me whine about every ailment I am suffering from this week..... I think it actually helps them with their workout..... they start running faster and farther away from me. That's ok, that was my plan to be by myself, I have plenty to talk about with me, that's where it all starts.

When I first started I had some most painful knee problems that were quickly remedied with the right pair of shoes! Hey, you all must know this if you're ever going to run, get the right pair of shoes. They will cost you a boat load and you will thank me. Don't go to the local "shoe store" unless you know they have experience with watching your gait and analyzing how you're running and walking and can really give you what you need in a good shoe. I mean it. This is sooo important.

Thank goodness I then contracted "black toenail" or "training toenail". Ick. No one ever told me about this! It's like having a baby and then hating every mother on earth because she lied to you or just never told you what the heck was really gonna happen! Cruel, people, really cruel. This sweet little runner's treat comes from pounding the ground over and over with the bottom of your foot, say, like in running. A blister forms under your toenail and it becomes painful and bruised and will eventually fall off! Yay! Let's hit the street for more intervals! Then it will take 4 to 5 months to grow back. At least now my mind is off of the soreness of my knee and into my toenail and all of its awesomeness!

Then came the excruciatingly intense hip flexor pain. Remember when you held that kid on your hip all day and it was really sore that night? Try carrying two of them and running for an hour downtown! It hurt, and is still rather sore and it ticks me off. I need a massage. I need acupuncture and some hot stone therapy. And a mug of hot tea with Govi strumming in the background to make it go away. Hey! Don't judge me. It might help because I haven't tried it yet and I think it sounds like great therapy! At least now my hip pain took my mind off of my toenail. I need a Yoga class badly......

To top it all off, I fell last week before the snow fell and sliced my hand open. But, at least it took my mind off of my hip.... My hand is much better, but my hip is still sore!

So, as I recap here, running is awesome! Vegans, unite! Cooper River.... watch out! Who's with me?! Hoo-Rah!

I'm going to get my icepack now and cry in my pillow. Kidding. I am going to run the race, literally, put before me. I can do it. None of this will stop me. None.

1 Corinthians 9:24-26

²⁴ Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. ²⁵ Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. ²⁶ Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air.

It's not you, it's me.....

2011-01-10T09:33:00.000-08:00

The wafting smell of a pot roast simmering in Lipton Onion Soup Mix for hours on end can send my mind to a place of love and warmth and friendship and Sunday afternoons. The taste of homemade ice cream makes me want to put on my pinafore and run around in the church courtyard and play tag. The sight of my friends Too-Much -Chocolate cake or the Oh-so-yummy carrot cake make me want shrill in delight. All of these emotions evoked by the sight, smell, taste of food. For years, I have been an emotional eater. I'm sad and I need a chocolate cake. I'm depressed and I need some chips. I'm lonely and I need a plate of mashed potatoes. I'm happy and I need to celebrate with Fettuccine Alfredo. I don't feel anything so I must need something to eat, how about crockpot barbecue!

Food is defined at the Princeton online dictionary as "any substance that can be metabolized by an animal to give energy and build tissue; any solid substance (as opposed to liquid) that is used as a source of nourishment; "food and drink"; anything that provides mental stimulus for thinking." I like this definition. It defines food in a scientific manner in its inanimate effect on our bodies. Afterall, food can't really provide anything else other than nutrition, right? It can't function as comforter or listener, right?

However, this next definition I absolutely hate and I feel it is what motivates our obesity as a nation. This one comes from wikipedia and as we know of wikipedia, most is made up by users and isn't necessarily correct in every situation. The real definition of food isn't this, but as for the cultural definition of food, this one is right on the money. "Food is any substance, composed of carbohydrates, water, fats, proteins and water, that can be eaten or drunk by animals, including humans, for nutrition or pleasure. Items considered food may be sourced from plants, animals or other categories such as fungus. ..." So, what makes the last definition so vile, IMO? Well, it's that one little word. The "p" word. Tacking on "or pleasure" in that sentence after nutrition almost cancels out nutrition altogether. Because if it was about nutrition AND pleasure then we would take both of those words into account. Right? When is the last time you did not associate food with some sort of emotion, like pleasure? "Oh my gosh, that was sooooo good!" Like it took on some sort of orgasmic experience?

I recently read an article by Victor Epand on "Endorphins and the Science of Addictions", and while he was speaking directly to the addictions children have with video games, I honestly believe that this science applies across the board to the addictive behavior we all possess. Here is what he had to say:

"So what is meant by addiction, as far as doctors and medical practitioners are concerned? Basically, when the body or brain is engrossed in an activity, chemicals are released into the bloodstream, and quickly end up with the brain. These chemicals can make a persons' mood change quite dramatically, cheering them up, making them feel happy or good about themselves, distracted from the stresses and strains of life, and generally feeling positive and satisfied. Similar words and concepts used to describe addictions to drugs, cigarettes and alcohol. When an athlete runs or exercises hard, endorphins are released into the body and these can actually have the effect of giving the athlete a 'high', making them feel a rush of positive happiness. This can become very addictive, just as the body can become addicted to any chemical introduced to the brain which makes the brain feel good. "

This is not an uncommon science. I am confident in saying that every doctor or health professional, western or eastern, will affirm the beliefs laid out in this article. If you have an unhealthy lifestyle as an individual or a family and you want to become healthier, you must overcome this habit of associating food with an emotion. Divorce your food. Send it a Dear John and tell it to never darken your door again! Ok, in the emotional sense, not literal. You cannot do without food, that is a given. But food was never placed in your midst to become this idol of sorts that controls your life, controls your health, controls your budget, controls every aspect of your life.

When I married and became a mom, I expected of myself to grow this gene of love of all things nurturing to my family. I shopped. I agonized over meal plans. I looked for bargains. I woke up thinking about breakfast, then tried to plan what dinner might need to be and what needed to defrost. Then it was lunch time already and after I got everything cleaned up from that, it was time to start on dinner. What the.....?! I tried hard to appeal to my whole family on the pleasure they would take in every single meal and snack. I would be heartbroken if they didn't like it. I would be heartbroken when they did like it, but didn't reaffirm it with accolades for all my hard work I put into preparing, shopping, cleaning up after it, etc, etc, etc. This led me right to the fridge for some comfort for myself and to the idea that deserts would pretty much make up for whatever was lacking in the dinner. They usually forgot about what the dinner tasted like if I had a bowl of ice cream waiting for them. Don't misunderstand me here, I can cook. Ask my friends and my mother. I am a damn good cook, if I might say so myself. But, I was miserable. My unusual obsession with fear of rejection had made it all the way to my dinner table with the people I trusted to love me more than anything! Except food, so I thought. I was associating being a nurturing mother with providing them emotionally stable foods, not necessarily nutritious food. Thus, the cycle will continue with my children when they grow and leave the house, unless we break up with our food.

Since becoming a vegan a few months ago, I have had some revelations in myself that I have been able to overcome and now see in a whole new light. It is not my intention in this post to convince anyone to become vegan, although it is an amazing lifestyle change. No matter how you eat, carnivorous or veganism or vegetarian or pescatarian, whatever, do you eat that way emotionally? It is, however, my intention to shed light on what kind of emphasis food plays in the life of those who have found themselves here to my blog. Food, sent to this Earth by the Almighty Father himself, is for your nutrition. Nutrition that gives you energy to do what God has planned for you in this life. It's fuel for your muscles and bones and organs. We've perverted our view of food into this elaborate production and presentation on our own dining room tables to the millions of tables around this world in restaurants. It, food, takes up more of our time directly and indirectly!! Think about it. Do you plan your day around your meals? What you'll fix or where you'll go? What about vacations? I mean really, why is there an ice cream place that sells a gold encrusted ice cream sundae for over $1000? That feeds a whole different emotion for me.... anger. Do you know how much nutrition that could provide for a family in need? Crazy.

It's time. It's time to have a sit down conversation with your Fridgedaire and it's contents and that of your pantry. It's time to renegotiate your contract with food in your life, a sort of menu prenup of sorts. Food is not meant to provide an emotional experience for me. And when I abuse that, it makes my butt bigger and that makes me emotional and then I turn to the one things that started it in the first place. Stop making love to your food. Stop asking it out. Stop letting it let you down constantly and making you feel tired, mad, bloated, etc. God intended our bodies for use in his kingdom not the healthcare kingdom or the local gym kingdom. When I realized that my work for Him suffered because of my unhealthy cravings for my relationship with my lunch, I decided enough was enough.

Seriously, look at how you cook, prepare and entice your family and yourself to the table. How about food for purpose not for pleasure? When God sent the Israelites into the desert, He fed them. Not something that brought them pleasure, but nutrition so that they wouldn't starve to death. He loved them. He loves you and finds you worthy of so much more. The things that are in your food, if you buy processed, would shock the hell out of you if you knew how it affected your brain and thought processes. How some are intended to depress you so that you will eat other things that will lift you up, making a vicious cycle. How there are ingredients that are addictive, making you want for more. Just like nicotine, baby. That's a post for another day.

Matthew 6:25
For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? "Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to to his life?

Vegan Victories

2010-12-19T18:42:00.000-08:00

1. My pants are falling off. That is a victory, but not necessarily a good thing when you're at a Christmas Concert! Lady had to come tell me, "um, honey, your zipper, dear......" Crap! Thank goodness it was a side zipper and a clasp on top to hold me together.

2. I can wear my wedding rings again. This is huge. The last time I could wear my wedding rings I think the first Bush was in office. Ok, maybe not that long ago. After Hilary got her husband elected and before Lewinski. IDK. Anyway, this is so amazing that I can actually put them on and they don't strangle my fingers. I'm very excited!

3. I am loving cooking vegan! With the exception of my new favorite obsession with Marzetti's Putanesca Sauce, which isn't totally vegan (there's anchovies) I am sticking to it! And you wouldn't believe how amazing the food tastes! Why didn't I do this sooner?

4. It has been a transformation for my husband. He is a wonderful guy and he really wants to see me succeed in this because he knows it's important to me. He's come a long way with all of this and is really quite amazing with it all. Poor guy has lost some weight! Believe me, he can't afford to lose it! He's been wearing 29"waist jeans since he grew into them in Jr. High! The good side is that my advice has been for him to eat MORE!

5. I have some amazing friends who are supporting me and eating my crazy food and loving me through it. I don't think I will ever turn back.

6. I feel really good. I feel really, really good.

7. I ran over 4 miles last week. Holy Moly!

8. God is good.

God Positioning System or GPS

2010-12-17T08:59:00.000-08:00

25.1514"N, 111° 41' 39.1554"W

36.50277, -111.85757

These are no ordinary groups of numbers. These are not answers to some odd mathematical word problem. These are some of the most precious numbers in my life right now. With technology these days it's easy to follow precious cargo down the chilly waters of the Colorado as it snakes its way through the Grandness of the mighty Canyon. As these are updated every few days I get a glimpse into the life of my 20 y.o. as he is on the trip of a lifetime. Of course, he may do this again in his lifetime, but this is the first trip, the unknown of the cliff walls and blue-green waters still a mystery every day for him. The world stops, and, of course, the suspenseful game of Clue, when these numbers come across my email. I must rush to my computer and plug them into Google Earth and see where they are. So, they are here:

And one of the most amazing things about this is that David and I can zoom in, pan up, travel up the river where they've come from, travel down the river where they'll head to next, see the upcoming rapids in their future and look at the ones they already passed through. It's an interesting perspective to be able to sort of see where Adam will be tomorrow before he gets there. I wonder if he will "get" what God has going on in his life right now? I wonder if he will appreciate the awe inspiring handiwork that God laid out long ago for him to appreciate now? I pray that God reveals himself in such a way this trip that Adam is forever changed!

This parallel of coordinates for him and God's coordinates for not only his life, but mine, is something I can't seem to get off of my mind. I believe God feels the same way about me, about us. He can see where we've been, knows where we are and knows where we're headed. He knows the rapids and struggles we've already experienced that have made an impact, or hopefully made one, in order for us to learn from our mistakes and do it differently next time. He knows there are struggles ahead and rapids to maneuver. He doesn't keep the water calm. How boring that would be. He allows us to willingly put ourselves in our own boats down the rocky crevasses of our lives and paddle through those rough waters. But knowing that all we have to do is look up to know that He is right there with us. It's in the beauty around us. It's in the fact that we actually made it through. It's in the journey laid out ahead of us years and years before we were even born. He knows. God Positioning System. What are your coordinates? Where are you headed? Have you forgotten where you've been? Have you learned from those past struggles yet in order to do it differently next time? There will be a next time. But just look up. He created that view for me and you. He is in constant conversation with us. He loves us dearly. He wants us to recognize Him in our lives. What does your satellite image reveal?

Romans 5:1-5

¹ Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. ³ Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Door into the Canyon

2010-12-13T09:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday my baby, my 20 year old baby boy, left for his trip. Not an ordinary, run-of-the-mill trip, but a 25 day raft trip down the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon. My husband and I have been so excited for him to go on this trip. I mean, really, 20, and turning 21 while on this trip, young man gets to raft the Grand Canyon?! Who wouldn't be excited and undoubtedly a little jealous. Yea, I know not all of you are up for such adventure. Frankly, my knees couldn't take it I'm sure! But, wow, for him! 10 of his buddies and soon to be closest friends on earth for 25 days, are heading out on the river at 1100 hours Tuesday morning. He called from the edge of the Grand Canyon last night with a bright moon shining over the Navajo bridge. He was so cute calling with that giddy voice!

I, however, woke up yesterday with a horrible stomach ache that lasted all day long accompanied by a tremendous headache that went away not long after his phone call. Yes, excitement for him, but utter terror for me not being able to speak to him until January now. But, this is life as a parent. Life where my husband and I have raised our kids to be what they are passionate to be. To be kids who say yes to making a life and not lose themselves making a living. Not that making a living is bad, its absolutely essential! But, making a life makes a boy become a man who becomes a father deep down inside that may be able to come out one day a loooooonnnnggg time from now, but still. And making a life makes a man still love being a boy enough to stay passionate about fun and love and life and work and ultimately and foremost, Almighty Heavenly Father.

God was shaking his head at me yesterday. As my brain tried to adjust to my stomach angst, I could hear in my head, "trust me. Umm... hello, trust me!" I had slipped down the sticky, gooey, thick slope of worry and couldn't figure out how to get out of it. Then, a friend, who is always there for me brought me Mark 9:24: " Lord, I believe. Help me with my unbelief." She reminded me that I can trust and do trust but that doesn't always take away the yucky feelings. Wise. I love her.

I can't wait to see the pictures and hear the stories! I can't wait to hear his voice in January! The thing about the door into the Canyon is that once it's open, it will most likely never close again. Open doors and whitewater canyons! God speed!

Dear Heavenly Father,

Place your hands around these sons and daughters as they taste the waters of one of the most beautiful places you created. Help them to know you more. Help them to feel your presence there. Keep them safe. They are in your hands.

Amen.

Hoorays, Boos and an update in the CRB

2010-12-01T14:33:00.000-08:00

Hoorays:

-I've lost ten pounds since I put new batteries in my scale!

- I can slide my jeans on and off without unbuttoning them and with no straining difficulties. How do I know this? I just tried it and voila!

- I just had the most amazing dinner - bean and brown rice burrito with Better Than Sour Cream and Rice Cheese with Green Chile Enchilada sauce on top. Soon I will blog about my amazing vegan Thanksgiving treats that EVERYONE really liked! (or they lied really well)

- I ran again today for training. I ran on Monday as well. My knees are much better and I'm not a woos anymore, well, for now anyway. Cooper River Bridge Run ..... I'm gettin' ready for ya!

Boos:

- I'm missing Colorado more and more everyday, which makes me sad. I miss my boys, but it's too soon to return there because their still making up their lives for themselves. Maybe one day........ maybe, if God sees fit.

- The first one is pretty much overriding any other boos I have, so I'm done whining about everything else, except the first one, did I mention that I really miss my boys? I do.

My week and update on CRB 10k

2010-11-26T09:51:00.000-08:00

The week really started off well. I have been sticking firmly to this new lifestyle and really, really loving it. I can't tell you how wonderful I feel.

Anywho, I went for my scheduled walk/run training on Monday. 2 min walk and 4 min run for 36 minutes total. I did it! I am feeling better each time, like I'm not going to need a new lung anyway. The thing that sucked was about 45 minutes after I finished when I was home walking down the stairs it felt like someone was shoving nail behind my right kneecap. I then noticed that both of my knees were swollen. Crrrrraaaaaaaap. Ok, no problem. I sat my hiney down and iced them for twenty minutes and started to take Ibuprofen to alleviate the swelling. It seemed to work a little, but still had some pain only when walking down the stairs. Called my physical therapy friend for some knee strengthening exercises (maybe a tad too late, but...) and she gave me some great advice as well. Called the trainer told her I prob would take off Tues from running just to be safe. I don't want to put myself out for good! Went walking on Tues to the Christmas parade downtown, not far, but I paid for it when I got home. Bring on more ice. Got a text back from the trainer lady and she said no running/walking until Monday and to ice it 3x day 20 min at a time with Ibuprofen too. Great. Now I'm two weeks behind everyone else. They all started a week before me. I'm not very happy with my self right now. Not that I could foresee this one, but that I let myself get to the point where this would be an issue. It's totally preventative at this point, I get that, I am not overreacting. I am just being safe so that I can continue to get healthy. I just tend to beat myself up about my current weight and past weight a little too much, it's the dramatic diva in me. God will work that one out too. Diva exorcism. Nothing humbles an out of shape diva like running in front of construction workers and the whole of downtown while sucking all of the oxygen out of the air and breathing like you're gonna die any minute and in those oh-so-flattering workout clothes - NOT.

All of this icing/down time has given me time to do some more research on my new eating lifestyle. Now I want this for Christmas:

.........and I think I will have to suck it up and go sit on Santa's lap at the mall, cuz it's not in my budget at the low, low price of $2395.00! He owes me anyway, I haven't seen a freeking gift from him in years and I'm due!

I must say though, this vegan style of eating made it so nice yesterday. While everyone was miserable after dinner I was feeling quite chipper! It's amazing the difference. My mother was so sweet to fix stuff I could eat, but it was also stuff everyone could indulge in as well. And a happy turkey for all those meat eaters was wonderful according to their tryptophan comas later! She's the best! I hope your Thanksgiving was as wonderful as mine! Of course, mine is on-going with another family dinner tonight with those who just arrived from out of town! Bring on the veggies! I made Wild Rice Salad, Sweet Potato crock pot casserole and crock pot green beans - all vegan and gluten free! My niece is vegetarian, so we will have plenty to choose from!

Have a great week and bring on the Christmas season!!!

God bless!

Thursday thoughts as misguided as they may be

2010-11-18T14:14:00.000-08:00

Today.

1. Ran/Walked for 20+ minutes. Learned I could do it on my own when I need to. Also, learned that I need to go earlier for less interruptions from shocked neighbors who want to talk about how they've NEVER seen me exercise, in the neighborhood, yea, that's it. Thanks.

2. Bought batteries for my bathroom scale. Big mistake. Haven't weighed myself since spring. Should've left it that way. That number should only be used for ...well, when I googled that number and put "is a good number for" I got.... swan fungus. There ya go.

3. I'm frustrated at my narcissistic behavior in the last couple weeks. Although its a good place to be when blogging it doesn't make for good relationships with, say, people. I have been the offender and I don't know how to fix it. Prayer and lots of yummy delicacies wrapped up in a bow as a gift. Or a new featherbed. Random, I know.

4. I decided the only thing that could pick me up was a green monster and Christmas music blaring out of my computer speakers. Yea, it kinda works. I love Christmas music but my kiddos, um, the jury is still out. One came in and said, "What?! It's not even Thanksgiving yet!"

5. God and I have lots of work to do. I need to be on my knees more with my mouth SHUT this time.

6. I want to be at the beach right now. No, really. Right now. Closing my eyes. Clicking my heels. There's no place like the beach, there's no place like the beach. Hmmmmm.... didn't work.

7. Thought I'd share a powerful video of Random Acts of Culture! Hope you like it as much as I did!

May God bless you deeply. Deeper than you thought possible. A deep level you never knew existed. My prayer for you. God bless.

CRB10k - week one second edition

2010-11-17T20:13:00.000-08:00

So, I've already changed the titles to weeks instead of parts one and beyond. Such is my life. Constant change. It's no wonder I'm always confused!

Well, today was hard. I woke up with a bad attitude and told my hubby I didn't want to go. I cried, even. My blisters hurt (insert sarcastic crybaby noise here), my legs were still sore, my butt was still big. I was discouraged. I had changed my eating lifestyle to a place of heaven for me (really, I absolutely love it) and added in some exercising (only two episodes thus far) and wondered why I didn't already have the energy of Jillian, the trainer from The Big Loser. Maybe my expectations were a little high at this juncture. Ya think? But I was still wanting to do anything but run today. The dogs needed washing! The baseboards needed dusting! I need to clean out the fridge!! Whatever. I knew I needed to go. I had every intention of going. I just didn't want to go. Like a toddler trying to manipulate the system for desert before dinner. Heels dug in all the way there. Intervals were walk two and run three. What?! The first day was run two walk one. Great. I put on my big girl you-know-whats-its and choked down my tears and turned up my mp3 player as loud as I could so I didn't have to hear that stupid timer go off telling me to run. David Crowder Band, Switchfoot, Flyleaf and the BeeGees (you guessed it, "Stayin' Alive) ran along side keeping my mind off of the pain. I did it! I actually did it. All of it. I ran 3 minutes at a time. What?! I was whining so bad on Monday for two minutes and couldn't even finish them for some sets. Ok, today no hills. Monday, lots of them. So, yea, ok I get it. I can run on flat ground without passing out! Yay, me.

I have really been behaving myself on the food front. I am so nervous that I may relapse into a binge eating process that will again last for years and shorten my life span. I called my friend today to ask some advice, "what can I eat after a run?" I don't want to fall of the wagon. I really don't want to take two steps back. She was so sweet and gentle with me. "You're doing fine. Keep doing what you're doing! You don't need to worry about that nearly as much now, wait til your hair starts falling out then you may need to rethink your habits." She always makes me smile! Love you girl! I feel like I'm on the right track for once! Thanks to all of you for your encouragement.

My McDougall cookbook has arrived and I salivate over its contents! Granted, it's not the "new" one, but later I will make that investment. My family is being rather supportive, even when there's no meat on their plate! I'm excited to find recipes that we can all enjoy together. We'll see how long it lasts before they start to put their foot down. That's when my kids learn how to shop and cook their own food. Until then, if I'm in charge of shopping and cooking then I guess they'll eat if they're hungry, right?

I really do want to pray for you. No, really. Even if its to lift up praises in your awesome lives of no struggles, let me know how to pray for you. This thing called life consists of you and me. While we're here together we might as well act like we like each other, right?

John 15:7 (New International Version)

⁷ If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

P.S.
And a little music for those of you who know you have this stuck in your head now! You can thank me later!

Cooper River Bridge 10k - Part 1

2010-11-15T08:54:00.000-08:00

I was sharing my new lifestyle with a friend of mine recently and she encouraged me to join in on the challenge to walk/run the Cooper River Bridge 10k. I'm taking her up on it! Now, I am realistic that the training will be rigorous for me, but I do honestly believe that I am ready. I will be joining a team of ladies who are from the very experienced to the novices, like myself, to train for 18 weeks. I started today with one of my dearest friends by my side as my trainer with her group. My results: I did not die. I know, shocking, huh? I actually feel really well and on the ride home was ready to do it again, but I knew that it was just adrenaline talkin'. I walked 5 miles this weekend with my bestie at the park and she kicked my butt, but it was so good to get out again! I have the blisters to prove it, but blisters are not going to scare me away!

I'm starting out my week with two weeks under my belt of this vegan lifestyle and I am totally in love with it. First of all, I feel so good! I feel very energized! Within 48 hours of quitting the animal based diet I have been on for all my life I felt like a new person. No. Kidding. Really, no kidding. I won't josh you here, because I just won't. No more fuzzy brain stuff either. Gone. Ya'll that's big.

So today started off with apples and a green monster drink..... what's for lunch? Hmmmmm.... better hit the grocery store!

Have a blessed day!

I'd like to thank Flyleaf and Toby Mac for the encouragement I received this a.m. through my workout. Ya'll rock!

God bless your every breath today!

Enjoy what I enjoyed this a.m. with these:

Clear skies ahead

2010-11-10T07:57:00.000-08:00

I am really liking this new lifestyle so far! I have been privileged to find some really amazing recipes that everyone (except Matt) has loved! Last night's dinner? Carol's Goulash, veggie patties w/ pineapple salsa and great friends! What a blessed person I am. Poor Matt didn't care for the Goulash recipe but I didn't mind, because he did try it and was honest about it. He is my one child who tries anything and usually loves it all, but Goulash, not so much!

My favorite energy drink is a version of the Green Monster. But she doesn't really give you amounts and such here so I like this one and this one, too. I absolutely love this drink, but will have to splurge on almond or rice milk instead of soy because its a tad on the sweet side. Anyway, it's a great morning drink for energy with a side of sprouted wheat toast. Or as an afternoon snack, yummo!

So, I have really done well so far at staying within the realms of my new lifestyle and not "compromising" as I do so often in other things. Justifying my actions with, "well, it's all they had or maybe just one." Even Lays potato chips knows you can't eat just one! I know that right now it has to be all or nothing with me, cause that's my personality and I'm retraining my brain and must stay the course for now and I will work on how I can splurge later when my will power is in check.

I have sooooo much more energy than before. This is so huge for me. Think of your worst down day and multiply that by three and then you'll be close to what I usually feel everyday pre-veganese. I'm telling you that I feel so much better so far that when I really get going on this I plan to be extremely annoying on here with all of my pent up energy releasing itself cyberly! Yea, I know, not a word, but I think it should be.

The other thing that has really got me baffled is my thought process has begun to come back on track. I have suffered from this really fuzzy brain feeling for a long while now and I'm trying to homeschool my kids which doesn't make for a good mix. But over the last week it's been amazing how each day brings new clarity to my synopsis up there! I think this is what was adding to my depression more than anything. I'm used to being a multi-tasker and thoughts were categorized in neat little packages up there and I could pull from them when I needed to, but it was like they all got dumped out and were jumbled together. It does bring it's own little oddities to the playing field when you start to re-organize. This a.m. I woke up remembering EVERYTHING I needed to do today and I freaked out thinking, "wow, is that right?" Almost like I didn't trust my thoughts. Well, here we go, back to the road of recovery. I feel like an addict must feel. Makes me wonder if there is a direct correlation between dementia or Alzheimer's and our high fat animal diet. Hmmmm.....may have to research that one.

My next step towards this new change is to get back into my exercise routine, which frankly will be new because I've never had a routine with exercise. Who am I kidding? Anyway, now that my energy is returning to a place where I actually feel like I can do something. An exercise routine will be next!

I see from my last post that none of you have any ways for me to pray for you so you must be living so perfectly, I'm jealous! I will pray for you anyway, just in a general sense til I hear otherwise. Please continue to pray for me because I really do feel the support from your prayers is helping to firm the foundation for me. I appreciate your support! Now I sound like a Bartles and James commercial!

Thank goodness my God loves me, little ole me. I couldn't do this any other way! And he continues to remind me of what he has in store:

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Say it isn't so.....oh, yea, it is!

2010-11-08T17:38:00.000-08:00

So, I eluded to my new venture in my last post and some of you already caught on to my mysterious ways! Cheeky little devils!

Yes, I'm goin' vegan. Food-wise, not in my closet. I will still drive my car with leather seats and wear my furry coat to church (kidding, I don't have a fur coat). It has now been about a week (with the exception of my hubby making me a grilled cheese sandwich, which I felt obligated to eat) since I went dairy free. Then a day later, no meat or meat bi-products. Please don't call me crazy or throw a fit like my husband does when I say "no meat". He doesn't even know I've made this change anyway, so shhhhhh, don't tell. It's not hard for him not to notice little things like what I am shoveling in my mouth or whether or not I got a haircut or bought a new shirt or went out of town. Ok, that last one is a bit of an exag, but you get the point.

Why? Why, or why would someone give up the peppered bacon that resides in a cheesy tortilla melt, and forgo the cheese, too? What up? Everyday. Not once in a while. Everyday, I wake up tired, sore, fuzzy thoughts and depressed. There are other issues that are much too personal to post here, but it's putting a relationship in jeopardy, and it's probably one of the top two MOST important reasons I am making the change. Too bad you'll never know what it is. The other is this, God has ordained in me the piece that is supposed to be active. Not go to the gym or run a 5k, but to be active in His body of believers and reach out to those who don't know him. Well, you know what, I don't feel like it 98.9% of the time. I love God. I like hanging out with his peeps and one day hope to actually go on a mission trip, local or far, far away. But I have hindered the process of purposeful living by filling myself full of junk. I am an emotional eater, I'm a procrastinator, as well. Somedays I forget to eat until 2 p.m. or get busy and don't have time to eat til then. Other days, I wake up depressed and start eating everything in sight until I go to bed which depresses me, so there you go again. I have tried so many different things in the past to help me out, but never been able to follow through. Hence my last post. Now, I really need this to be my lifestyle. Pray for me, because it won't work for me for too long if I can't have the support of my family, and right now the men are all ravenous carnivores. I have done some research found some recipes and sites with pre-made shopping lists (yes, I'm that lazy). I have actually found several recipes that I have already made for the fam and dinner guests, without their knowledge, that was both dairy free and meat free and they liked them. Go figure. Anywho. I am already seeing the difference in my headaches going away and not waking up with them. I am not depressed in the a.m. like I was before a week ago. I am still sore, but not nearly as much, but that just means I need to go see my favorite chiropractor. My brain is still fuzzy, but not nearly as much as it has been. I know it sounds weird, but it was so bad.

I do not feel like I am depriving myself of anything. It hasn't been that hard so far. I actually can't wait to put this whole part of my life behind me and get on with living! My bad behavior in this area was out-of-hand and needed repair. No more letting my bad habits control my walk with Christ, on the path, off the path, on the path, etc. THIS particular area will no longer be the issue, clearing the way for other more bad habits I've been hiding maybe....oh, I hope not!

I want to live fully in God's will, but I find myself shirking away from duties I know I am to do, because of my fatigue and my health in general. If I am to be a productive Christian I need to get myself in gear and stop letting my body and my lifestyle get in the way. It really is to take the emphasis OFF of food and weight issues for me and free me up to be completely and utterly distracted with Jesus!

I am not suggesting that by reading this you will automatically need to do the same, by no means! We are all different in our journeys with Christ and it is up to us to identify those areas that keep us from doing His work in our lives that He calls us to do. Is there an area that you can improve in your life that will free you up to do God's work more? Let me know and I will pray for you in that journey as well. Please, please, please keep me in your prayers to follow through and change my lifestyle. I will need all the help I can get! God bless your journey!

1 Peter 4:11

If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Lifestyle changes and what-not

2010-11-06T19:26:00.000-07:00

So, with some prodding from my daughter and the voice in my head that's been playing this tune for months now, I have decided to venture into new territory for me. However, in doing so I will cause a rift between the males and females in the house, but maybe they'll be game enough to change later. I'm scared to actually type it because I suck at follow through. I know it needs to happen, I have no other choice. I will get no support from my husband, I'll just tell ya that right now. Don't get me wrong, he'll nod and say, "Whatever you want to do, honey, is great! I just won't do it. I can't do it. I can't imagine even thinking that. But whatever you want is great!"

I'm tired ALL the time. I'm sore ALL the time. I wake up feeling horrible. I need this to change. I need to know that I am investing in my future and my kids futures. We have no health insurance and won't. I need this to be my health insurance for now.

I'm looking forward to it. I'm actually excited about it! If you see me out, don't call me on the carpet if I'm not doing it right, cause I'm just getting started and I have LOTS to learn!

It's.......well.......UH!....I just can't say. Maybe later, if I actually follow through with it, I'll confess. Maybe.

God bless!

For real pretend-like

2010-10-27T13:18:00.000-07:00

An overwhelming theme of "stop playing church" has reverberated my world over the past couple weeks. Interesting how I've gone from coast to mountains in this time frame and it remains all around me. I mourn for community at this point. Why don't we like to hang together as friends, neighbors, church families, etc. anymore? Have we busied ourselves right out of sincere relationships? Is the closest person we have the teller at the bank or the lady in the drive-thru? Not that they are very nice people, it's just that it seems as though many would rather have the convenient relationships rather that the ones that take work and frankly a little more time to nourish. "I don't have time in my life to commit to so-and-so because little Jimmy has underwater basket weaving at four then tai-kwon-do-do at five, then our happy meals await on the way to my "how to simplify your life conference" so I won't be able to come to help you move your elderly mother into your home. Can't you hire someone to help?" Yes, I realize that seems a little dramatic and far-fetched, but in all honesty its not far off from the truth. WE are the church. Not the building or the temple or whatever you happen to gather in, but the people are the church. The place where the Holy Spirit took root in your heart is where the sermons are spoken and the word of God is brought forth to the masses. By reaching out to your neighbor and your friend and wanting to hang out with those in your church family. I want to stop pretending and let people know how very much I care and love each and every one of them! I want those around me to know the love of Christ in my life through my compassion for how their day went. I want to be God with skin on. No more playing dress-up Christian, I want the real thing......

Just sayin'.........

What about you? Any areas in your life you're tired of pretending?

Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."

—John 4:23-24

¹Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

—Romans 12:1

Whew......tomorrow!

2010-10-13T18:25:00.000-07:00

Why do today, what you can put off 'til tomorrow?

I was wondering why I wasn't feeling very creative, now I know.

Thank goodness for fortune cookies or I'd be toast!

God bless your fortunate selves!

writing, righting, wrote, writ, w/e

2010-10-12T13:31:00.000-07:00

I want to write! I want to blog here. i have brain fuzz and can't seem to get rid of it! It's really ticking me off too! I want to write with the eloquence of Maya Angelou and Marianne Williamson. I want to be passionate like David Platt and Frances Chan. I want to make a difference in my life by getting out all the blah in my head. When I don't write it gets ugly in there. Like constipation of the cerebellum. Do they have some sort of medication for that? I'm sure they could make one up, but the side effects are probably worse than the illness. See what I mean? Drab rambling. Who cares about that stuff anyway? It's not being honest to who I am and what I want to regurgitate onto the screens of millions of readers...ok, thousands...ok, hundreds....ok, you two! Satisfied?

I want the words that swim around in my head to land softly and swiftly onto the pages of my blogger editor and soothe my soul like a eucalyptus lavender mint poultice salve. OOOOhhhhhh, that sounds amazing. Anyway, here we are in the midst of the drivel that excretes from my thoughts and wastes yet another moment of your time.

Pray that I regain some brain cells to achieve a good post or two to save my sanity and my blog!!!!

For now, ponder this:

Isaiah 453:1b-2:

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you."

2010-10-11T18:51:00.000-07:00

A fleeting moment, a warm breath on the cold air, lights go on and off in the darkness. Things that make me understand that which haunts me more now than ever is the ever-so-small amount of time that this life offers us on this earth. Store up treasures in heaven. You can't take it with you. Life's little lessons. I hope I've checked them off one by one.

My new favorite song by Revive is "Blink". Some of the picture painted in each line of the song go something like this:

"It happens in a blink

It happens in a flash

It happens in the time it takes to look back

Slow down, slow down

Before today becomes your yesterday..."

I want the molasses days. The days when I watched paint dry. The times I wasted watching water boil. When was that? Oh yea, never. The joy with five kids is that there is never a dull moment. It also means that life tends to go by at such a speed that you don't realize how fast your going, officer. It's like having my own little Maserati under the hood of my Excursion.

Yesterday, John was two and climbing into my picnic basket and grinning from ear-to-ear. Saturday he leaves on a jet plane for the adventures of the west and life as he sees it. Hanging out with the big bro, working like a dog and carving out the powder at Wolf Creek. Hmmmm....... life is good. I pray that the lessons stuck in his head and he will call on them from time to time. I pray that God gently sets his feet on solid ground in the great state of Colorado. I pray that he will know God deeper than he knows him now, which is pretty deep, by the way.

So, in the wise words of my favorite 80's rock band, Styx, here is some last minute advice:

It's six o'clock

Good morning sounds are everywhere

The warmth of spring, a gentle breeze blows through my hair

I hurry through my life never stopping to see

How beautiful it was meant to be

I'm just a prisoner in a king's disguise

Broken dreams as we shuffle by

It's six o'clock it's quitting time I'm done for the day

Out on the streets I overheard a lady say

We now have everything or so people say

But now this emptiness haunts me every day

We seek the lion's share never knowing why

Come alive spread your wings and fly

Pieces of eight

The search for the money tree

Don't cash your freedoms in for gold

Pieces of eight

Can't buy you everything

Don't let it turn your heart to stone

(Air guitar solo here for approximately 2 minutes)

Pieces of eight

The search for the money tree

Don't cash your freedoms in for gold

Pieces of eight

Treasures filled with emptiness

Don't let it turn your heart to stone

Not Personal, Just Business

2010-10-07T14:40:00.000-07:00

The future of America right there, folks. These two are hard-core
recyclers!

Very cool operation. That's a lot of recycling there!
(Too bad you can't see the sludge
dripping out of the bottom of this truck.....ewwww.)

Miss Paula working the visuals! Go, Paula!

Marionettes?! Really?! You do know I'm a high schooler?

My phone camera didn't do the colors in these
bales justice at all. They were quite beautiful, really.

First of all, thanks to the mom, a.k.a. Grandma D, for organizing this way cool field trip! You rock. Why, you wonder? Because I didn't have to do anything but show up and those are my favorite field trips of all time!

We are in such odd times right now. Everyone is very business-like when it comes to, say, business. Yea, that totally makes sense. If you visited the recycling center in our area you would understand. It's a totally cool homeschool field trip with cartoon character public service announcements all singing to Aretha Franklin's R-e-s-p-e-c-t tune, but using r-e-c-y-c-l-e instead. Quite a catchy tune and it sticks in that spot in your mind til 3 a.m. There were marionettes, too, people! This place has got it going on. Lots of primary colors on the walls and recycled projects displayed and an awesome viewing area of the whole shabang in the processing center. Large windows where you could watch the trucks dumping out the materials and front end loaders pushing it around onto the conveyor belts for sorting then the stacks and stacks of awesomely colored bales of crushed aluminum cans and the like. All very cool and very interesting. Sarah was in awe of the soda pop chadelier inside the front door. "Mom, we could totally do that!" Of course, my reply was, "Well, honey, that means we'd have to start drinking soda." Hmmmmm....not sure that project will make the cutting floor.

I just was a little saddened by the lack of environmental statistics or green information. I thought there would be more. Like some Living Like Ed pics on the walls or a stationery bike hooked to a toaster made of recycled materials. Lots of talk about how much money it costs to recycle and how much money the county gets for selling their recycled material bales and etc. Just not very informed on how recycling is good for the earth and what the impact to the landfills have been since starting the program. I'm sure once the economy settles down, Ed Begley, Jr. will drop by for a green makeover and educate the educator. Til then I encourage you to not only visit the closest center in your area, but recycle. It's good for the earth, and it's good for you, although I don't know why........JK. Trying to be funny.

Job 12:7-10

⁷ "But ask the animals, and they will teach you,

or the birds of the air, and they will tell you;

⁸ or speak to the earth, and it will teach you,

or let the fish of the sea inform you.

⁹ Which of all these does not know

that the hand of the LORD has done this?

¹⁰ In his hand is the life of every creature

and the breath of all mankind.

Homeschool Buffet

2010-10-05T18:15:00.000-07:00

The view of this table when it's littered with books and schedules brings tears to my eyes. I adore it. I love it. I want to remember how I longed for this day to be here and now God has granted the mercy, patience and provision for us to be here in this moment. I praise Him for answered prayers. I remember the agony of year one, year two and year three and here we are in the most glorious of years, number 4.

Thank you God for your tender patience in me.

Help me to extend that grace and patience in teaching my children.

May the peace and joy of the Almighty Father be in your dining room today!

Autumnal favs

2010-09-28T19:04:00.000-07:00

I love the vibrant color of my dehydrated tobasco peppers (if I could be a color, this would be me):

I love watching daddy/daughter talks:

I love that apples are huge this time of year:

I love that I found coconut m&ms:

My kids love that I found peanut butter m&ms:

Thank You God for favs!

Creative Sludge

2010-09-24T14:34:00.000-07:00

I am feeling it. That time of my life when I have put my creative bursts of energy on hold long enough that I'm about to explode! I want a new sewing machine, because I've never been able to thread mine the right way to sew with it and it ticks me off. I love to sew. I was in the costume department in college for my work/study program and I miss my sewing machine! My poor boys, I used to sew clothing for them. I will NOT post pictures for their sakes.

But every now and again I just have to do something for the creative center in my cerebellum. My fine motor skills must be honed with bouts of crocheting and buttons and bows and some sewing and wall art and something, for heaven's sake.

I found an excellent pattern for the cutest baby booties, crocheted, and have knocked out a few of those, but now my appetite has been whet and I need more, like a crack addict. I need my art. I need my creative juices to flow.

I think I shall decopauge the dog's food bowl. Laters.

God bless your creative spirit!

Elk Mountain, Wyoming

2010-09-23T09:35:00.000-07:00

This is where I want to go. I don't know why.

The only job opening in the area is putting up 290 lineal feet of fence. Hmmmmmm....

Who wants a field trip?!

Me, me, me, me!

God bless Elk Mountain, Wyoming!

Your Average is a C, making you average

2010-09-23T09:29:00.000-07:00

I hate taking tests. Hated it in school, don't like it now. I don't like to make my kids take them either, but since I have homeschool high schoolers then I have to have a grade or something for their transcripts.

Not too long ago my church decided to ask all of its members and chronic visitors, you know who you are, to take a test online at assessme.org. It's a spiritual gifts sort of test. I took it, albeit I didn't like it. It gave some quite humorous results. Instead of pinpointing my strengths were I could plug-in more easily to church activities and ministries it just muddied the waters. You see, apparently I have not one, but four, personality types. Now, this could come in handy if you need to adjust to many situations because then I'm your gal! Whatev.

Friends of ours and my hubby and I were talking the other night about the book "The 5 Love Languages" and how it cleared up some questions for how couples relate to each other in their marriages. We all decided to take the "survey" (cute word for evil test) and see how we should all be relating. I suck at tests. Did I tell you that already? Upon scoring my results I scored the same on four out of five love languages. No wonder my husband can't ever figure out how to communicate with me! JK, we do fine, but really? Seriously? So I decided to take it again. Ya'll pray for me.

I know the most pressing question on your mind is which love language did not make the cut. "Receiving gifts" is not a language I speak. So true! I know which love language I don't speak, but apparently am pretty quad-lingual in the rest. Yea, I made that word up cuz I can.

Maybe that's why I blog so as not to look funny talking to all of my personalities with all of my love languages at the same time in public. Cause really, let's be honest, most of us are just talking to ourselves here, right? No, I'm not, yes, I am, shut up! No, you! Poo-poo head. Oh, I gotta go, I'm getting out of hand!

God bless you and all of your many personalities today!

Spunky for Jesus

2010-09-21T19:44:00.000-07:00

I love homeschooling. Yea, yea, yea for the obvious reasons that I feel I'm doing my children a huge service by providing them with a discipleship rich education, yadda, yadda, yadda. Yea that too, but even better, you get to meet some really cool people.

Today, I had the privilege of coming in contact with a lady with three kids and a great sense of who she is right now. Why I say right now, is because she strikes me as human enough to be able to have a breakdown next week and be ok with it still. The whole time these pearls of wisdom and reality flowed from her animated face I just stared at her. Thank goodness I was wearing shades so as not to seem creepy. The wheels were turning in my head on how I was going to afford to build an addition onto my home to accomodate her perky self so that she can be there to shake like an eight ball and ask those hard to ask questions and wait for the amazing revelations like, "so you're telling me that God doesn't care about you, is that what I'm understanding about the words coming out your mouth?" Ok, not quite like that. She was much more eloquent and funny.

She is raw, rare honesty wrapped up in one little spunky momma. I loved it. I want to be spunky for Jesus like that. Another friend of mine was picking her brain as to the questions she had about our bible study and lil miss spunkinator was rattling off her answers as we sat around waiting for the next hilarious moment of honesty to drop to the park playground floor. All this, while calming screaming children and tattle tailing and boo-boos, etc.

I pray for my honesty to step out of the closet and show itself more often. The witnessing that can take place in a moment like that is quite amazing. It's not that I lie, it's just that I hold back and am not quite as vocal in my honesty.

Dear God,
I want to be spunky for you. Help me out. Amen.

What have you done for me lately....ooo, ooo, oo, oo, yea!

2010-09-20T06:28:00.000-07:00

It's like a contagious, icky viral cold. It starts and then someone else is sneezing it out then it gets on you then you're afraid you'll get it so you pray it off. It hurts, it stings. What do you do? Believe me, I used to be one of those "closet trashers". You know, the one who hides behind trash-talk, calling it a prayer request. No more. I don't take part in the tearing down of others anymore. Thank you God!!!!!! It was with his help that I rid myself of that nasty virus.

But, yesterday, I was subject to it once again in conversation with some awesome Godly ladies. Now, I know what you're thinking, that maybe they weren't so Godly....not true. They are two of the most Godly women I know. You see, the trash talkin' came from a woman I dearly love, but she was trashing herself! No, let me explain. The things she said about her life and her spiritual journey, had they been said from a different person about her, I would've laid somebody out with a right hook and a little booty kickin'. I found myself getting all up in a tizzy about what I was hearing. I was offended on her behalf, but she was talking about herself. So, you see the weird spot it puts me in. Wanting to kick butt, but realizing that I would be kicking her butt and it would be the same person that I was defending. Odd, I know.

I wish she knew this about this person she was talking about:

1. She is one of the most awesome mothers on the planet! Your babes love you so much and are such a testimony of how God works in their lives through you. I've seen those other schoolers, really God has done a work through you.

2. Her marriage is one of inspiration, and God did that, missy. Yep, mark that down on your "what has God done in your life list!"

3. Her devotion to her education of God's Word is remarkable. Where were you a few years ago with that? Yea, that's what I thought....God, again.

4. Your home is the heart of your family. It's not the edifice, its the spirit of who you all are together. You could be anywhere and this would be true. Again, God has worked that through for you, remember the job offer in Alaska?

5. I would do anything I could to make the pain and the crappy times go away for you. I would take them on myself. I know it sucks big time, eventhough you say you're good. I'm sorry for how you go through this time and time again. I would take it, no, really, I would.

So, here's the thing, sista! If you don't stop trashing my friend's life and her dignity, I will take you to a dark alley and bring my thug friends (Jen, that's you)!

Worth. It's what God tagged us with when he created us. Worthy of his love. Worthy of our role in his will. Worthy people. Worthy of relationship. Worthy enough to have peace. Worthy.

Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. 1 Peter 5:7 (AMP)

Her Royal Highness

2010-09-15T06:09:00.000-07:00

I am the queen of making excuses! I have walked the catwalk, won the contest and wear the sash that says, "Queen of Excuses". I would love to say that I wear this proudly, but not-so-much! I have spent my life and now, most of my kids lives, saying, "we can't because ______________". We don't have the money, we don't have the time, we don't have the right car, I'm not physically able, I'm not skinny enough, I'm tired, I'm yadda, yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah.... I hate this trait about me and I'd like to change it. I think of all of the things I've never done or I won't do, if I keep this up. I will continue to live my life vicariously with most of the rest of the world going and doing.

This year is really going to call me on the carpet about this because we are homeschooling all of our school aged children and we don't have the restraints of the public school schedule. We have been excited about not being under anyone's schedule so that we could go and do, but then out come my excuses.

It's fear. It's complete and total fear. What if.

Will you continue to pray for me and my family as we stomp out this bad habit we have? I do not want to pass on this particular trait to my very adventurous children. I want them to have an exegesis spirit. Learning about things with their own minds and bodies and having opinions about them because they have experienced things in order to have an opinion. No more vicarious living, unless it's skydiving, because I don't have the right outfit for that. Just sayin'.

God bless your experiences today!

The Living Bible Studies

2010-09-14T17:17:00.000-07:00

I have been involved in "women's bible study" before and have quite enjoyed my experiences with each of them. I always love diving into the Word of God with a bunch of crazy for Jesus ladies who hunger to learn more about God and their lives. Many come for the company of other adults, as they are usually stuck at home with kiddos most days and start to forget how to talk "adult", I remember those days....... Oh, where was I? Oh, yea. There's nothing like a deep down spiritual scrub to get your waterworks flowing and hearts to break and then to grow and then want more.

I've always thought this was a great way for women to pump a little more Jesus through their tired veins to take them through another day, another temper tantrum, etc. But, this school year has brought us into the outskirts of a homeschool group that has been a blessing in our lives. They will most likely never know, because this "group" is that "group" that doesn't acknowledge those of us on the outskirts, but we can still take advantage of any opportunity that comes down the group pike and this is one of them.

My boys, the teenagers and their dad, have been attending a bible study for young men and their dads. I don't get to hear ALL about the actual meeting and the biblical entree they feed on there, but I do get to reap the benefits of the "dessert" when they return. My children have the most wonderful father. I know they love him and they respect him, but they also enjoy being with him and listening to his stories about the wild, wild west and the crazy days of his youth. They always laugh and say, "Yea, whenever dad gives us one of his talks we all know how it's gonna end, either with talking about God or sex or both!" My husband is a very laid back man. The guy in the Mountain Gear catalog, yea, that's him. He's out of his element here in this strange world of concrete and gas guzzling automobiles and lights that hide the night-time stars. But he loves me and his kids and knows that this is where God wants us for this season of our lives. He continues to fill my boys' toolboxes with what they will need when they are building their own families. Yes, God comes up every time, and how God feels about sex and God again, then there's a little God thrown in. One day, when they aren't teenage boys the subject will most likely be God and money and what God thinks about money, but for now, here we are. One day my boys will be able to understand in full how absolutely lucky they are with the dad that their Heavenly Father picked out for them. They will remember these life moments and what God had to say to them through my husband. Not, "Eat your vegetables," but, "Don't ever forget to praise God for your daily provision of your vegetables."

My dearest best friend in the whole wide world is my sweet darling husband. He is truly a Living Word of God everyday of his life. I love these bible studies. I feel so blessed to be able to commit to memory the scenery of them laughing and talking as they walk in the house afterwards, or stay out in the driveway til all hours of the morning still talking......

May God bless your life with Living Bibles! Amen!

P.S. Sorry for all of the "quotes", I just noticed how "annoying" they all are. I can see my "hand" gestures as I "read" this......

Things I have loved and learned about this week

2010-09-10T17:50:00.000-07:00

My first full fledged homeschool week was especially blessed. Let me explain. We didn't start adding in ALL of our curriculum until after Labor Day this year. Older brother is being homeschooled first year his sophomore year of high school and I wanted things to ease into a schedule. It seemed to work well. I was having a minor melt down on the first day mid afternoon, but the sexy, hot principal stepped in and took care of my unruly pupil. I love that man! Shhhh....don't tell my hubby......

So here are some of my favorite first week memories:

1. I love it when I hear this from one of my teenage boys, "Hey, mom, listen to this and tell me what you think!" I hope I hear that a lot.

2. My daughter after her first day (granted we did a herpetology study and read books this summer, but that wasn't technically school for her), "Mom, this is the best day ever! I loved school today, I loved soccer practice because everyone was encouraging everyone, etc." It helped that she spent the afternoon with Eagle and his sis and their wonderfully talented teacher-mom. Also, soccer, her fall love, helps the attitude, as well.

3. And finally, a fact I wasn't aware of that I'm sure will come in handy for one of my readers, is this: Did you know that if you have a pet python that you need to get rid of that your best demographic for selling that bad boy is to the exotic dancing union? I'm checking out the ebay store now......... What you can learn from a herpetologist talk at the public library is amazing, but what you learn from his wife about the "behind the scenes stuff" is what I went for! She's going on our next girls night out because she's a funny lady!

4. What I knew, but was ever so gently reminded of is that God has gifted me with wonderful children and a wonderful husband and He will continue to care for us as we walk in His will.

^{I Corinthians 16:13-14}

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love.

Isaiah 41:10

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

Homeschool P.E.

2010-09-09T20:11:00.000-07:00

So, I asked my 18 y.o. high school graduate to help out with the kids p.e. this year since I have some high schoolers now that need to have actual documented physical education.

So, this is what he picked:

It is now all set up in the backyard:

Yep, that's the motto on one of the braces. I thought it was quite ingenious. My hubby has tried it and said, "If I was 20 years younger, I would be all over that!" Which pretty much means, "wow, that hurt." My boys have all learned to stand and walk a little. Sarah is just getting the hang of standing while hanging on to a brother or two...... I must admit, it's pretty cool.

We're homeschoolers, we slackline with no head gear and no health insurance. Yea, that's just how we roll. Video to follow later........

School Bus Envy, not so much.

2010-09-07T10:23:00.000-07:00

I remember those days. I remember when the idea of homeschooling was preposterous to me. Why would anyone want to keep their children at home with them ALL day long? 24/7 with your kids? How do people do that? Doesn't that just drive you crazy? What about my job? How would we even make it on one and a half incomes? I use to love the adrenaline rush of the mornings, getting my kiddos out the door and to the door of the school on time. The peace and quiet of the house......

I would laugh at those families that did that, like they were "weird" and somewhat off their rockers. Then, deep in my heart, a seed was planted, fertilized with all the crap I used to say against it, fed by the warmth of the bright sunshine of those around me who were homeschooling, and watered by the tears of my eyes when they cried because I missed my kids. I ached for their company. It was a strange feeling for me to feel that passionate about wanting to keep them close. For years I had followed the American Dream of raising your kids til they went to daycare then working your butt off to pay to keep them there til Kindergarten, then let the public school teach them all they needed to know about academia.

What became so clear to me was that my kids are always learning, whether in class or out, therefore, the school not only taught them about the great American poets, but lots of colorful words that bounced hard off the cinder block walls of the institution. The behaviors of others quickly became apparent that they were affecting or infecting my kids. Yes, I know, they will need to learn to adapt to certain situations in society, but selling drugs in the boys locker room before basketball practice in 7th grade? Really? Or, how about the stories of teens having sex under the stairwell of the high school during school? Or just the plain old-school problems of bullying (cyber and physical) and the favorite "my teacher hates me" and finding out she really does? I am not trying to shelter them from life, but what I am doing is exactly what the bible teaches me to do for them. I am reading the bible and implementing what it means for MY family to instill these principals and characters in their lives.

There was no time when public school was our traveled road. There was only time for extra curricular sporting activities, homework (that took longer than school) and oh yea, sleeping. All of those just got in the way when we were supposed to be modeling our Christian discipleship to them. So, we had to make a list and cross of what was not a priority for our family and what was a major priority and see if there was a way to make it work. Public school did not make the cut. Neither did satellite/cable tv, prime rib dinners, fancy hand soaps, trips to the Riviera, expensive cars, etc. This is what made the cut: my children, their values, their salvation, their character, my husband and my ability to parent disciples.

I cannot imagine my life any other way, now. I love my noisy home and my kids still in pajamas. I love that life is spiritually different now. Our focus has changed from "keeping up" and "getting by" to purposeful, intentional way of life. Mine just happens to include homeschooling my children. It's the way we can fit it all in, together, laughing and enjoying each other's company.

John 15: 9-17:
⁹"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. ¹⁰If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. ¹¹I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. ¹²My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. ¹³Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.¹⁴You are my friends if you do what I command. ¹⁵I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. ¹⁶You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. ¹⁷This is my command: Love each other.

"Fall"ing in love, again

2010-09-05T11:36:00.000-07:00

I love September.

It's where Summer starts packing it in..She gathers her habanero days and eventually heads south for some anticipation of spending the rest of the year in the tropics.

It's when autumn promises to come for a visit and unpack her yummy days, made up of cool nights and brisk mornings, into the deep recesses of our dresser drawers. Thus, coaxing those musty, dusty sweaters out of hiding. She invokes dusk-time parties of roasted marshmallows by the billowing bonfires and days of sunshine that call serenely to you to lay in the grass and inhale the sweet scent of earthen hues falling on the trees. Anxiously awaiting the fireworks of falling leaves to beckon in the woolen wardrobe to the front of the closet.

It's when all the world comes together for me. My heart aligns with my brain and all is glorious. I'm a mountain girl living it out in the Piedmont for now, but my heart belongs to the Blue Ridge Mountains and the harrowing, yet symphonic song of the Rockies.

It's the time of year when all of those ignored summer pounds go hidden behind over sized sweatshirts and you dig out the socks that have been neglected to don hiking boots and furry jackets with chin kissing zippers.

Orange oozes through your veins with the smell of winter squash and cinnamon. Why must I wait all year for this? Oh, patience, sing sweetly to me. Make this autumn last forever.

Dear God, thank you for the cool rays of the autumn sun, the breeze as it tickles the trees and the wave of your hand placed ever so softly in the strands of my daughter's hair.

May you be glorified for your awesome creation!

The Holy Grail on my bookshelf! Imagine that!

2010-09-04T16:02:00.000-07:00

My husband has been hoarding these books from me! When we were perusing through them last night I wanted to pack up the wagon train and head to the prairie! So, I have taken a few pics of my new ~~obsession~~ homeschool project:

Yippee Skippee!

Here we come!

I want to be

"In Harmony With Nature"

My house plans!

I love that, "Difficulty in the Beginning: It Furthers One To Appoint Helpers" - so true, so true!

Cool pic, I can just see the horse in the snow now!

Be careful looking to hard at this one, you might get a surprise in the outdoor hottub.....

And last but not least, the instructions for a sauna with "beer bottle masonry"!

Life would be complete right?

How cool would it be to build your own log cabin? You'd just have to keep it a secret from the building code enforcers because I don't these babies would pass code! Sssssshhhhhhh....... And Stacie, maybe we could work in some running water and a bathtub!

God bless your dreaming today!

I want

2010-09-02T19:06:00.000-07:00

to buy this:

and put it here:

with these people:

and wake up to this view:

and drink this:

Please, oh please, oh please, can I?

Thanks for the blog post!

2010-09-02T18:45:00.000-07:00

I love this and I'm going with number 1!

As a homeschool parent, I found this rather humorous:

Top 10 Things NOT to say when asked "What?! No school today?"

10. Well normally yes, but this time of year I need help with the planting and

plowing.

9. Goodness, no!!! I graduated 18 years ago, but thanks for the compliment!

8. No, we homeschool. We're just out to pick up a bag of pork rinds and some

Mountain Dew, then we gotta hurry home to catch our soaps.

7. What?! Where did you guys come from?! Oh my! I thought I told you kids to

stay at school! I'm sorry. This happens all the time. (sigh)

6. There isn't? Why, you'd think we would have seen more kids out then, don't

you?

5. We're on a field trip studying human nature's intrusive and assumptive

tactics of displaying ignorance and implied superiority. Thanks for the peek!

4. On our planet we have different methods of education. (Shhh! No, I didn't

give it away... keep your antennae down!)

3. Oh no! I thought that today was Saturday...come on kids, hurry!

2. Noooooope. Me 'n Bubba jes' learns 'em at home. Werks reel good!

And the number one answer we should NEVER give to the question:
"What? No school

today?"

1. "The school said they couldn't come back until they're no longer contagious"?

When God Granted Me Serenity

2010-09-01T06:26:00.000-07:00

Eleven years ago today, my life as a mother of four boys changed like I never expected. They told me it looked like a girl on the ultrasound, but really, they told me my fourth boy looked like a girl on the ultrasound, too. I was not convinced by their silly little machine! My hubby, however, was totally convinced from day one of finding out we were pregnant that it was a girl. I just said, whatever, and prepared for another little one. She was the most beautiful thing ever! Her brothers were instantly smitten by her good looks and darling little noises and petite fingers and toes. She was born a wet baby, google it if you wanna, and we stayed an extra day in the hospital with oxygen close by just to be sure. I've never seen my boys quite so immersed in a little being for so long, going on eleven years now. She stole all of our hearts from the moment she crossed into this earthly life. Her brother, John, used to hold her when she was an infant and rub one finger back and forth across her forehead and lull her into a deep sleep. It was heaven! I would catch each of them at some point in her room being held hostage playing stuffed animals or whatever was on her agenda that day. She idolizes those boys, even now that they drive her crazy sometimes! From the time she used to carry in snakes at the age of 2 to now, when she "makes" them go throw the baseball or practice soccer with her. My boys will make excellent fathers someday if God desires them to be just that. My girl will make an excellent mother someday, because she can motivate a house full of boys to do whatever it is she wants!

Eleven years ago, she was a week late! My fifth child a week late. What up wit dat? My mom and dad had traveled to Colorado a week BEFORE she was due, knowing that she would already be here, being #5. HA! Sarah does what Sarah wants, kinda. Anyway, my whole family accompanied me to my midwife appt 3 days before my mom and dad had to leave. We were all going to spend the day in Durango, hanging out, but first things first. I asked my midwife if there was any way to move this along! After hooking up to a monitor for a few, she decided let's break your water and get this show on the road! Mom and Dad took the boys to lunch and a long walk around downtown, thinking we'd be there a while. Ha! Little Miss was born about 20 to 30 minutes after the flood gates opened!

Their eyes were fixed. Their hearts grew 10 times larger. They were hooked. Watching my babies grow is the most agonizingly painfully joyful, wonderful experience of my life. I feel as if I'm standing in the midst with my body aging and my hair graying slowly while they spin around me in a blur growing so fast that I can't keep up.

She lays sleeping now, just as she did then. Quiet in her bed as I stare at her sweet face and wonder what it will be like in 10 years with a girl in the house......... or out of the house. (Excuse me while I bawl my eyes out!)

Happy Birthday my very special Sarah! I love you so much!

When Then Meets Now

2010-08-29T19:17:00.000-07:00

My husband and I have been eating our latest book finds! They are scrumptious and filling, but still leave you hungry for God's word in an awesome way. It has sparked some heavy discussion about our spiritual journeys, thus far. But books are not what this post is about! You can find that post here.

Watching my husband these last few years in this amazing transformation before my eyes and my heart has made me keenly aware. While he is talking of God's love and the presence of the Holy Spirit and praying for our homeschool and planning field trips and bible curriculum I stand beside him with my mouth open on the inside, so as not to appear obvious in my shock. Not bad shock, but overwhelmingly good shock. You see, God has revealed to me for my viewing pleasure, hindsight. Not very often do we remember where we've been, what it felt like then, what we longed for so much our stomachs hurt, but I got to go there this past week.

There I was, years ago, standing beside the bed once again wondering when he would rise, not just from the bed but from this ugly, dark sludge of a depression that would not let go. It was sticky and heavy and pitch black. I remember thinking and praying for him to want something, anything. I remember wanting him to be the dad I knew he was, the one God made him to be. I remember wanting him to want me. I remember the whole heartache of doing it myself. Then, I remembered where I really was, at home in 2010 beside my husband again listening to the most beautiful words coming from his heart. It was like a forward winding of our life years later and boom! We're here and now! What an awesome image for God to reveal to my heart. It was eerily real, being back in that room in Colorado. Then to fly ahead as if in fast motion to the here and now. Thank you, God, for the work you've done in him. Thank you, God, for the work you've done in me.

I don't ever want to forget where we've come from. I don't want to ever take God's work for granted. My patience and David's patience with me through our lives together. God has created such a beautiful, graceful union between us that I will always be humbled by it. God lives and moves and breathes in this marriage with us. Although, hindsight was hard to once again be a part of, I wouldn't change that moment for the world because it's made me so keenly aware of how we couldn't have gotten through everything thus far without the profound love of an Almighty Father!

^{Psalm 139:1-14}

¹ O LORD, you have searched me

and you know me.

² You know when I sit and when I rise;

you perceive my thoughts from afar.

³ You discern my going out and my lying down;

you are familiar with all my ways.

⁴ Before a word is on my tongue

you know it completely, O LORD.

⁵ You hem me in—behind and before;

you have laid your hand upon me.

⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

too lofty for me to attain.

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

¹¹ If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me

and the light become night around me,"

¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is as light to you.

¹³ For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother's womb.

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

I'm weird, socially awkward and politically incorrect, duh

2010-08-25T19:58:00.000-07:00

All that to say, "what the heck is up with homeschool groups anyway?" I mean, really, I just don't get it. I suffered through two years of NOT joining a full fledged group, because I was scared of being rejected in a situation where a bunch of females my age point and laugh and giggle at my expense (unresolved middle school, high school issues aside). I also didn't join because it was unclear which one was a good fit for my family. It's hard to crack the code for homeschool groupery knowledge. I've even thought of calling up some of my hubby's Navajo buddies to see if they could take a stab at maybe some code talking to get me in the right one. Not happening, apparently the natives are scared too.

I ventured out this year, because my bestest had such a wonderful experience last year with her group that I thought I should be proactive and get out there and realize that I could relate to some of these ladies on some level in order to glean important life changing tidbits on how to homeschool my kids.

Um..... well..... I still am having a really hard time getting "in". I joined a group that has been rumored to be geared more to high schoolers and their needs solely based on the demographic of those who come, of course, and I thought, "yes! I need that." So, I went to said website and joined ....in June. Now, their first meeting wasn't until last night, but I had been receiving emails in the last week about how classes were getting full and some were on a waiting list, yadda, yadda, blah, blah. I thought for sure that this must have been for a younger group since I had not received any notifications on class schedules to choose from. Uh-uh. You see, just because you join the "group" doesn't mean you join the "co-op", but you must be a member first of the "group" in order to be a part of the "co-op" or to get on the waiting list for classes. But noone filled in this newbie of how you're supposed to find out this little bit of info until last night when the nice lady was laying out the rules about the "group" and the "co-op". "Just because you join the "group" doesn't mean you have joined the "co-op" and your duties for each are separate so don't think you're getting out of volunteering to do a job in the "group" or the "co-op" or either-or, because they are separate."

I waited patiently for the interpreter to stand and tell me what the heck she was saying. Then the nice lady was gone and no information on the "co-op" was given.

I have come to think it is actually a secret society where you must be invited in based on your social structure, age of your dog, color of your mother's eyes and whether or not you breastfed as an infant. Seeing how I was not wearing my LLL (boobie club) patch last night I guess I was out of the loop. But I did learn a very important lesson about the "group"!
Brace yourself, hold on to your hats.....

Very important, most important rule of all rules,

never,

never

hit the "reply" button on the yahoo groups

because that just jams up

the coordinators' email inboxes and well, frankly they don't have the time to sift through it all whilst lighting ceremonial candles, ironing long black hooded capes, applying face paint and marinating the days sacrificial meat before the "secret society" meeting, of which I am not involved.

I have joined another group, that looks a little more informative about classes, but maybe should not be considering the only class for my tomboy daughter for period 2 is Lego building or sewing a skirt. What she wouldn't give to play Legos all day, but really, I don't have to pay to do that when she can do it at home with her bestest, "Eagle" and friends, for free.

We did finally, after 5 years of involvement give up our LOGOS program for the fall due to budgetary reasons, but I can't tell you how liberated I feel to have another day to actually spend with my kids. So, since I've not been picked for the "team" or "group" for group #1, and not sure how we're gonna handle group #2 and no more Wednesdays at LOGOS and not sure about Thursdays, I think I will actually have time to, yes, you guessed it, homeschool my kids at, yes, you guessed it again, home.

Thank you God for the blessing of hanging with the Price peeps once again! I am a spoiled momma! I love the way you love me, Lord!

P.S. I did btw enjoy a remarkable speaker last night. Her name is Rachael Carman and she and her husband homeschool their 7 kids and own Apologia. She is a phenomenal speaker and would encourage you to sell one of your kidneys to go see her speak. (I hear the "secret society" pays big for kidneys. Just sayin'.)

For You, yea, you

2010-08-25T17:14:00.000-07:00

I love this story:

One day the caterpillar climbed up the stick and started acting strangely. The boy worriedly called his mother who came and understood that the caterpillar was creating a cocoon. The mother explained to the boy how the caterpillar was going to go through a metamorphosis and become a butterfly.

The little boy was thrilled to hear about the changes his caterpillar would go through. He watched every day, waiting for the butterfly to emerge. One day it happened, a small hole appeared in the cocoon and the butterfly started to struggle to come out.

Once a little boy was playing outdoors and found a fascinating caterpillar. He carefully picked it up and took it home to show his mother. He asked his mother if he could keep it, and she said he could if he would take good care of it.

The little boy got a large jar from his mother and put plants to eat, and a stick to climb on, in the jar. Every day he watched the caterpillar and brought it new plants to eat.

At first the boy was excited, but soon he became concerned. The butterfly was struggling so hard to get out! It looked like it couldn’t break free! It looked desperate! It looked like it was making no progress!

The boy was so concerned he decided to help. He ran to get scissors, and then walked back (because he had learned not to run with scissors…). He snipped the cocoon to make the hole bigger and the butterfly quickly emerged!

As the butterfly came out the boy was surprised. It had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. He continued to watch the butterfly expecting that, at any moment, the wings would dry out, enlarge and expand to support the swollen body. He knew that in time the body would shrink and the butterfly’s wings would expand.

But neither happened!

The butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.

It never was able to fly…

The little boy eventually learned that the butterfly was SUPPOSED to struggle. In fact, the butterfly’s struggle to push its way through the tiny opening of the cocoon pushes the fluid out of its body and into its wings. Without the struggle, the butterfly would never, ever fly. The boy’s good intentions hurt the butterfly.

As you go through life, keep in mind that struggling is an important part of any growth experience. In fact, it is the struggle that causes you to develop your ability to fly.

Thankful Tuesday

2010-08-24T06:59:00.000-07:00

1. Thanks, God, for the cooler weather! It gives me a sense that fall is on the way! Yippee!

2. Thanks, God, for my wonderful husband and bestest friend. He truly inspires me to be a better woman!

3. Thanks, God, for bringing my chickadee #3 home safely from Colorado! He's very sweet and gracious about being here, but I know his heart is in the depths of the wild, wild west.

4. Thanks, God, for helping me raise my young adult to know he can ALWAYS call me for ANYTHING! I am enjoying the conversations of my 20 year old from 2000 miles away.

5. Thanks, God, for my new appetite for books! I remember the day not too long ago where half of a magazine was all I could do. Back to front, mind you.

6. Thanks, Almighty Heavenly Father, for the way you continue to bless my life.

7. Thanks, God, for my husbands passion for mission, in his life, in his children's lives and in this world of ours!

8. Thanks, God, for my sweet and tender Sarah, whose heart is growing daily. She continues to amaze me with her hunger for learning!

9. Thanks be to God for the music that flows through the veins of my boys. To watch them in excitement write and record their own creations and say, "Hey mom, listen to this!" What an awesome God to create such wonderful humans.

10. Thanks to you, for loving me and bringing my life to this place through all of my experiences to know that you are a merciful, forgiving and loving God. That you didn't just do this for me to be saved, but for me to be saved for others to know about you and your love.

An exceptionally long post on being quiet

2010-08-17T05:35:00.000-07:00

I've had a fascination with the book of Job over the last couple of weeks. I can't seem to get enough of the bible lately. I want to read it and study it here and know more and more about what the words are saying to me. I want to feast on this biblical buffet and get fat on it.

Job is a fascinating character, hence the fascination I have with this fascinating book. Enough, already. One of the first things that really impacted me was the amount of frivolous conversation with his well-meaning friends. "Job, dude, you must have sinned." Or, "I had a dream and God must've been speaking to you through me", or maybe it was just indigestion. What struck me most was the use of space that God required be used to put down words that can't even be used as snippets of advice, not taken out of context and used as pearls of wisdom, just lots and lots of words, empty words. Why didn't God just give the scribes the liberty to say something like, "Eliphaz gave Job some really stupid advice and Job rolled over and said, 'God, should I listen?' and God said, 'no'." I mean paragraph after paragraph after word after word of meaningless advice.

But, I had to know. What's the purpose of this book? What is the purpose of the majority of it taken up by friends who come to your side when you're suffering and speak utter nonsense? Are we to learn from them a way of supporting each other somehow?

This year has brought its opportunities for supporting my friends. I love my friends dearly. I would never choose to have to support them the way its been going this year. It's been a hard year for some. Losing oh-so-tiny loved ones, losing dreams of having oh-so-tiny ones, tumors, broken dreams, unrequited love of children that may never be. It's not been my struggle personally, but as friend and sister, its been lots of tears and hugs and aching holding back the questions of "why" to my Heavenly Father.

I just pray in each instance that God gives me the words I need to say or really takes them away from my mouth the words I don't need to say. I have a way of shoving both feet in my mouth at the most inopportune moment. This year I've learned to go in with God on my lips and nothing else. Well-meaning phrases like, "It's ok, it'll be ok, don't worry, etc." are just sharp deeply penetrating words that sting hard when you're hurting.

I do the human thing and call or email or facebook because I'm scared to death that my presence or moreover my words put to noise will fall on ears that will be pained by the noise of me. So, I pray. "Dear Lord, help me to know what to do for her. Help me to know what to say and not to say. Help her." 2010 was taken up by several of my friends in extreme pain, physically and mentally, so I prayed that a lot. God gave me the greatest advice. The overwhelming feeling I had was, "Just shut-up and be there. Just be there. Let me work. You just be there." One of my sweet friends said, "you know, every once in a while you need frivolous advice. Some morsel, even the tiniest thing, to give you hope and light in a very dark place." God is so good at what he does.

It's hard to be me and be quiet. But, that's how it worked. You see, Job needed his friends there for support. He needed to know that he was part of community. One where each had their own relationship with God, however odd it was, but they were there. Ever present.

Be present and be prayerful.

Constant communication with the Almighty God on their behalf.

Go. Without question God wants you to be there for your friends. Drop whatever you're doing and be there. The rewards will outweigh the cost of doing so. We live as a community of believers, so welcome to the neighborhood!

A nice surprise

2010-08-08T18:21:00.000-07:00

This weekend was full. My house was full. My belly was full. My heart was full. It's amazing how God spoils me in my life to the point of over-indulgences in blessings. That was this weekend. I am finally to Sunday night and I feel like I just munched down on an all you can eat buffet of blessings and now I'm slouched back in my lazy boy needing a nap.

My nephew, Noah, and his bro and sis decided to head this way for an impromtu visit on Friday. What a treat! The thing is, you have to watch the kids constantly when they're around you these days. Not because they might fall and hurt themselves or need care from an adult, but because they don't hang out with us anymore and you must catch glimpses when you can. My other bros kids joined in on the fun and his daughter was even here most of the weekend hanging out. It's pretty cool. They're like one unit and move like an amoeba when they come and go. Inseparable. God is so good.

When my oldest was born, my sister had her first 10 months later, when my second, her second 10 months later, then my third, then 10 months later her third. She quit on me after that one! Chicken! The thing is my brothers kids are the same age as my second and my fourth. They all get along so well and find so many things to get into together when they hang out. Its not as often as they'd like, since my sister chooses to live in the state of VA (and denial for that matter on where she SHOULD live). Kidding, Mel. Anyway, they are so fun to watch them grow up to this point and now loving each other just as much, probably better because now Matthew isn't so territorial about his teletubby like he used to be and doesn't scream at Whit for messing with his toys. But enough of memory lane and bad toy purchases!

The house rang of noise and chaos and the sounds of music and laughter all weekend and it was pure joy.

You can come and pop in on us anytime, VA!! We love having you and cry when you leave, no, really, we do.

God bless!

I love you, now put 'em up!

2010-08-02T20:20:00.000-07:00

Confrontation. Ew. The sound of the word in my mouth usually brings up phlegm like I'm speaking German, the very angry sounding German and it's stuck in my throat. It's not the word's fault. It's just a simple little English word that means: The act of confronting or the state of being confronted, especially a meeting face to face. Lame-O definition. I like this one better: A conflict involving armed forces. Yes, a battle. One to the death! Aha! En Garde! Because, really, that's what we think of when we utter the word. I have always hated it. The act of confronting, not the word itself. I have used it for an excuse a time or two(thousand) in why I did not want to be involved in certain things. "I don't do confrontation." Like, I don't do white after labor day or something.... w/e.

I've learned that the reason I like the definition that I picked was that it means something different to me now than it used to 6 hours ago. A conflict involving armed forces came to mean to me, those who have come to the fight prepared. Two parties, entities, armies, people that took the time out of their daily lives to sit and pray about it, study what it means, where they may have gone wrong on THEIR part and laid it out before the great God above to crawl into their hearts and mold them BEFORE they enter the ring. Armed with the love of our heavenly Father and dressed in the Holy Spirit's anointing. A conflict involving those who have armed themselves appropriately and have come prepared. I experienced that tonight. I lived through it, or should I say that my heart lived through it. I, humanly, knew that I was going to be broken, melted in puddle in the floor, tossed aside like leftovers....I was sure of it. But then I knew that only God could come in and intercede on both of our parts. I knew she loved Him as much as I do. I knew that prayers and devotionals were spent in focus with the Word of God to guide our steps. I would have expected nothing less of her. Dear God! I love her! That's why we're here.

What I didn't expect to learn was that I actually like this confrontation. Confrontation within the Spirit. The one where I come prepared. Not in the usual way of "ok, I've gone over this in my head a million times and every time someone comes up with a wedgie and their bra strap around their neck!" No, not at all. It was littered with God and Christ and the Spirit and silent prayers going up between words of "dear Lord, please speak and keep me silent. Dear Lord, don't let me get defensive and screw this up." We both came to show the Glory of God as He exists in our universe. But we both came prepared.

It will be a season of restoration and healing for us, something I wasn't sure would come to pass. I still have a long way to go, but I didn't muck it up tonight. I know, for sure, that you cannot have a growing Godly relationships in this crazy world if you're not willing to be confrontational. It almost made me want to tick off my other friends just so we could confront one another and start on the growth to the next level of our friendships. Kidding. But, really, if you are reading this and you have the need to confront me, please give me ample time of prayer and consideration to come prepared, but be assured that I'm not afraid of it any longer. I want to be a better me. I want to stop being unapproachable by some. I want to live a life set apart and love like Jesus called me to love. I want to grow with you. Yea, you, too. I want to be a better friend and by shirking my duties of being a friend, a real one, a true one, I fear that I have left no room for growth. No more. I am open to growth, even if it involves some pruning. I am a work in progress.

I'm taking the Boy Scout approach and using the "come prepared" motto or way of life or whatever they use it for to get my Confrontation Patch. The ceremony will be years from now, I'm sure, but I'm on the road to recovery.

2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness

One of my favorite songs says this:

"Break my heart for what breaks yours"

Beautiful lyrics and God will hold up that mirror when you ask Him to invade your spirit in that manner, but take it easy, let it go, let it happen in you. God will not desert you in times where you have set yourself within His guide. He will never foresake you. NEVER.

Why

2010-08-02T14:02:00.000-07:00

Why

-is it that I can ruin a perfectly good weekend by pouting, then its over, the time never to be had again. What a waste!

-is it that I make understanding and living in God's will harder than it really is, seriously?

-can't I live somewhere where the temperature is always in the 70's?

-can't we all just get along? (Sorry, that one just popped in my head....kuddos, if you know where that came from.)

-is Starbucks so expensive? I need a Tall Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Latte, please.

-must I feed them again?!

-laundry.

-do I need so much reassurance of myself from others? Duh.

-do men instantly lose 10 pounds just by muttering the words, "tomorrow I'm going on a diet"?

- do birds suddenly appear

Every time you are near?

Just like me, they long to be

Close to you.

(That last one's for you, Jen!

You can thank me later!)

Dear.....

2010-07-28T05:49:00.000-07:00

Dear Dudes With Your Hiney Showing,
I hate to tell you this, but its not attractive seeing your brand of underwear hanging out of the top of your pants. And its not just the waistband anymore these days, its the whole, full moon. Who ever told you that was a great idea is probably the one who also puts the "kick me" sign on the back of people just for fun and shouldn't be trusted. Really, your bum? For all to see? Look, if I want to see anyone's bum it will be my hubby's or maybe, say, the dude from Criminal Minds.....anyway, pull up your pants, my daughter doesn't need to see that.

Dear Sexy Little Tart,
Where are you? What the heck are you doing? Working? Ha! I know better. Get your butt on FB or Blogger so I don't have to wonder if you've fallen into a vat of toxic waste at work and noone is helping you out! If, however, you've sold your cell phone and computer in order to fund your European vaca, then I'm ok and will get the scoop from your sister! Love ya darlin'!

Dear Saucy Redheaded Minx,
Yea, you know who you are! Listen, missy, its not nice to tease people with a new blog and then not write anything there! I'm sure that you must have writer's block because we haven't been hanging out in order for you to have some good material to write about.........humor me. Also, just a note to say, "I love ya!"

Dear Man Who Stole My Heart 21 years ago,
Dude, have you seen yourself in the mirror lately? Holy Moley, how do I keep my hands off of you for any length of time is bewildering, really. I need a date. I need a me and you date. Hello? Are you listening? Take me away from this barren place, to somewhere not so stinkin' hot and miserable, like......... Alaska! Come on, baby, let's go!

Dear Couple of Moron's Who Continue to Diss My Son,
Are you serious? He's the smart one here. Just because you don't have a clue of how to manipulate others into doing what you want them to, does not give you permission to try to tear my son down. Them's fightin' words, and you're lucky that I'm too lazy to actually follow through with the fight. Although, keep it up and I may have to pray for you!

Dear God,
Forgive me for my overall crappy attitude the last, say, oh, IDK, 3 years..... I have come to know you in such a personal way recently and don't ever want to know myself pulling a different direction again. I thank you for your Word that is so alive in my heart every time I read it. I thank you for your Son that you knew had to sacrifice in order for me to pay attention to who you are. I know that you're relational with ME, with ME, with ME. You know MY name. You know MY heart. I love you! BTW, the pants on the ground thing down here is getting out of hand, could you fix that? Thanks. Me.

(stomping) I want to, I want to, I want to!! (more stomping)

2010-07-27T08:27:00.000-07:00

I want:

to go here.

AND

get a flamingo keychain.

AND

buy my daughter a frivolous souvenir like a palm tree, frog sandglobe!

AND

get a cheesy Elvis beach towel!

Because it would mean I would be close to here:

And I want to be there, right now!

Calgon, take me away!!!!!

Parched and Quenched

2010-07-27T06:49:00.000-07:00

As I am trying to make the most of my time this summer getting ready for the next homeschool year, I find myself inspired by music. Music permeates our lives daily in the Price house. But, my musicians are off doing their own thing this week and its been quiet. So I just turn up my Pandora or my KLOVE and blast it through the last layer of paint on the walls! I would love to have the windows up and go for it, but it's over 100 degrees outside and I just can't do it.

I love this song. I love it because of it's lyrics, but most of all I love it because Lincoln Brewster's son recites scripture at the end and it makes me tear up every time! It reminds me of why I homeschool.

I want my children to know God. I want them to live with God. I want them to be with God each and every day of their lives with limited distractions and influences from worldly things. Not shut up in the house and never going out, but building that foundation and that confidence in their knowledge of God and who he is and how he is with you when you are in the world around you. How to observe those things daily that God puts before us that may be taken for granted outside of a life of knowing Him.

Psalm 19: 1-2: "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge." He is always in front of us if we choose to see. When they are in situations in this world, I want their eyes to be wide open, not shut to the world and the things in it. I know it happens in their lives already.

My 15 yo son went on a mission trip in Chicago this summer and helped out in a vacation bible school put on by the Y in the inner city. He came home and a few weeks later was involved in helping out at a local church with their vacation bible school program. He came home one day and said, "Mom, after working with those kids in Chicago, I've realized how spoiled these kids are here." Now, not spoiled in a bad way, mind you. Just in the way that there is so much here and there is not in the inner city of Chicago for those kids. He had an "aha" moment. My soul drank up the goodness of his heart growing at that moment in time.

I was quenched with the knowledge that God was at work on the inside of my child. You see, if you are to raise a child of God you have to release them into the dangers of the world in a way that they can then be molded into the men and women God has already formed in their hearts. We have to trust the God in heaven above who has trusted us with the precious souls of our children. Every day there is a teaching moment for your kids whether you homeschool in the homeschooling definition or whether your kids go to school outside your home. We, as Christians, are ALL homeschooling our kids when it comes to the values and teachings of the Word of God to our children.

So, my prayer is this today, that God blesses you in a way that makes you totally aware of how important you are as His child in this crazy world we live in. That somewhere in your life today, your eyes need to be open to the blessings within the icky, dirty mess of the day. Even if its just as simple as an extra smile given to you. I pray that through your blessings that you see in the world that those other children around you, young and old, will take note of God within the world and want to reach out and get some o' that. I pray that if you have children or are in charge of their care for any part of your day that God will reveal to you the places to plant the seeds so that the beautiful ones that they are will shine brighter when they aren't with you. May God be with you today in all you do! Now, go get dirty in the world today and watch Him wash you white as snow!!!

What ever makes your dress fly up!

2010-07-25T13:09:00.000-07:00

South

I love living in the South!

I mean really!

Who needs tv?

No wonder our porches are so big 'round here!

These above bullet points were from CNN's actual news site.

Gotta love it here!

Zombie me

2010-07-24T06:06:00.000-07:00

I have made myself physically ill. I really need to stop letting my stress get the best of my stomach! I don't want to do this, I don't want to be there, because I think I might open my mouth and actually say what I think and right now I'm still not there. Why do I do this? Why do I say "yes"? Pray for me, pray for my mouth. Pray that I won't puke. I'd be perfectly content in my life if I didn't have to deal with people. Or they didn't have to chance dealing with me.

.................excuse me, gotta make a run for it.

ok, I'm back, only to say, I'm outta here.

God, you better be there!

Dear Furry Misfit

2010-07-22T17:47:00.000-07:00

I see you mocking me! I watch from my bathroom window and see your beady little eyes staring up at me and thumbing your pink little nose my way!

I've talked to your parents about you, but obviously they are not into the "hands-on" parenting that I dish out. I think that letting you find your individualism in my garden is outright rude! Parents these days! Can't you watch your little heathens for even a minute? Can't you see while your talking with your other little furry friends from the forest that they are reeking havoc on my tomatoes and green beans? When are you going to get a clue? When the authorities pick him up for doing the "bunny hop" at the local pub with some hare from across the tracks? Paleez!

Now, today, you've gone too far. I know what you're up to. I trained my cat to chase off your little furry butt, only to find out that you've trained the cat bird to chase off my cat in the middle of the "peter rabbit throw down"! I saw your feathered assassin dive bombing my sweet kitty! I'm done with you and your satanic cottontail. I have advised the neighbors to shoot when they get a clear shot. I don't care if we take out every windshield in the neighborhood tagging your behind! You are no longer welcome. Consider this your eviction notice!

In love,

Angry gardenowner