Don't be fooled

I have been a mother since 1989.  You relish in the birth of that squishy newborn and long forgotten are the labor pains and the friendly horror stories about childbirth from those more "experienced" parents in your lamaze class.  Parents can spot another parent from aisles away and make a b-line for you with helpful advice.  Now, granted, I did get some very good advice from lots of people.  I would rather do that then to sit down by myself with my nose in a book of an author telling me how to raise or what to look for in my children when they themselves have no children.  I always thought that was odd.  Like maybe they were those people who absolutely detested children and thought of ways to get those parents back by writing odd little books about things that may or may not happen putting those of paranoid parents in a tailspin when our child didn't achieve the developmental rites of passage to move them to the next stage of the book.

Always in my life were those who said, "just wait 'til they're teenagers, you'll see."  I was truly petrified by the thought of my children becoming these testosterone laden aliens that hated their mother.  I grieved.  I grieved so long that I think my first born was 15, well into his first few years of teenagedom before I realized that he was not your typical teenager that so many spoke about.  At one point all four boys were teenagers at the same time. (Yes, I know what causes that and yes, I know what I was thinking, but I won't tell you.)  Anyway, I love that my boys are teenagers.  I love that they love their family and most importantly, me, their mother.  I'm not always the popular one, the rule maker, the one who nags (w/e).  I was definitely NOT prepared for well behaved, God fearing, polite, fun, happy, laughing, sweet, gracious, mother-lovin' teenage boys!  

Why didn't anyone tell me?  Why would you keep this a secret?  I could've done so much less worrying about things as they approached the devilish hour of their 13th birthday.  Seriously though, I only winced with the first one expecting it to change over night and be as terrible as some had said.  When that didn't happen I just sat back and enjoyed what God had blessed me with, something I didn't deserve, mercy and grace abounding.  Since they are all so close together in age it all just happened so fast that they were all teenagers at once and I was amazingly happy.  Not just for me, although it is quite a perk, but for those who would enjoy being around them.  The grandparents, the aunts, the uncles, the cousins, the friends.  

I can't wait until my grandkids are here and I can tell them of the wonders that they have to look forward to in their teenagers.  I can only credit what we have to our passion for our God and our Savior Christ Jesus who have guided our hands in the raising of our boys, who have given us the divine permission to be the unpopular parents and follow our Christian values, even when it seems outrageously odd to the outside world.  I would've done anything (and I tried, too) to be popular in high school, but now I wouldn't change my nerdy parenting status for anything in this world.  My God is an awesome God and I believe in his healing powers of forgiveness, grace and mercy in my life and the life of my children.

Now, Sarah is 10.  My girl.  I can't wait!

I'm sure I've quoted this one before, but I love it so much that here it is again:

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 ESV “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. (5) You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. (6) And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. (7) You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. (8) You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. (9) You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Permission Granted

Hold on to your hats, ladies and gents!  Yes, this is big news, probably the biggest news since, well, yesterday.  I have been so depressed in my mommy life about all of the housework I never get done around here.  As I passed by another pile of clean? dirty? unknown state of clothing laid across the back of the chair, I looked for the one who must be half dressed and said, "you know, you could pick that up."  Then it hit me, like a hundred pounds of laundry on a sunny day, I have gone all of this time thinking everyone KNEW about certain things.  How silly of me!  

So, last night as we prepared to eat dinner.  I rapped my fork on the side of my plastic cup and cleared my throat, "AHEM!  Attention everyone! I have realized how unfair I have been to all of you lately.  So, I am now giving you permission to do something about the things around the house that you may observe to be out-of-place.  I know, I know, you've been waiting so long for me to relinquish some of this power I have as your super mommy and let you bask in the light of the glory of picking up your own crap."

The boys just grinned and Sarah snickered and her friend Mr. Eagle almost fell off his stool laughing so hard!  They were ecstatic at the chance to finally help make this house function.  It made me tear up just a little.  My little darlings.

"You may put your dishes in the dishwasher from now on and unload the clean dishes," I exclaimed.  "You may do the laundry and clean your rooms WITHOUT being told!"  I continued and I could feel the energy rising in the room.  Finally the Utopia I had always dreamed of was within my grasp!  I felt good.  I felt empowered.  I felt like maybe something was up.  So, I contemplated my next move as I did the dishes and cleaned up from dinner and filed the two sets of taxes, last minute and got the kids situated in their respective sleeping quarters and ((YAWN!)) laid down my head to give it some real thought.

Do you think they are excited?  You betcha!  Without a doubt!  I'm sure they'll get right on that......tomorrow.

Swinging in the Family Tree

What a glorious week!  Spring break in the Carolinas brought 90 degree weather for the most part.  That didn't stop the madness!

My brother, sister and my kids all love to hang out together.  It's not like it use to be with the parents hovering over a floor full of toys, kissing boo-boos and wiping runny noses.  They've grown into these amazing humans.  The adults just get together one time in the beginning and let them loose together and then we pretty much don't see them until they come up for food.  It's quite relaxing, really.

Life has a way of just moving along without the decency of asking one's permission to do so.  The memories of my son and my niece being baptized together, the fun of watching them play and run at Shaker Village when they were just babes.  Now it gave way to a forest of Redwood like teenagers towering over their mothers and not giving a glance our way as they carry on with some unknown (to us) telekinetic language, much like dolphins with less clicking, but just as fun to watch.

Each day was a new adventure, sometimes into the jungle of commerce by way of that wonderful Swiss design museum, Ikea, or the garden of the guitars and all things stringed, Guitar Center and of course, the local grocery store many, many times.  We frolicked in the Memorial Gardens filled with tulips and other blooming things.  We hung out at Grandma's for a much needed spoiling.  The adult girls got to actually go out for lunch and laugh and converse as if we hadn't seen each other in forever....How's that sushi, Neesy? 

Now, it's early on day 5 and down the stairs Mel and I trod at 6:30 a.m. to rouse the two post pubescents that are traveling north with her.  What a sight!  Four teenagers sideways on a sleeper sofa, one 10 yo on the couch cushions on the floor, with dog.  Feet hanging off the sleeper sofa that were dangling with the weariness of a wonderful, most exciting week.  Life is good.  God is awesome.

Here are a few pics from my niece's collection.  She is the resident photographer and is pretty good at it!  Check out her full collection here:  Awesome Pics

But I'll show you her highlights of the week:

Blossoms and Leaves

I love spring.  I came to the realization today of one of the reasons I like it so well.  The trees are so gorgeous!  Whether they are leafing out or blooming like crazy.  However, there are some trees that I cannot stand to smell.  They have a sort of "manliness" to them that make me gag.  (I won't post it here.....well, maybe sometime, to explain.)  

Anyway, its amazing how much more clothed the world seems to be in spring.  I mean houses that were revealed through the nakedness of the winter cold and barren trees are now hidden behind the softness and baby growth of the strong timbers that birthed them.  I love being in that camouflage peering through as if spying on the rest of civilization.  

It's like God has once again wrapped his loving arms around us in a beautiful tapestry of color and grace.  The pinks and greens of spring will soon give way to the vibrant reds and oranges of my liking that announce that summer is on the way.  

The boisterous colors will be displayed over so much more real estate, like my backyard garden.  Where the tomatoes will bloom and sugar peas will climb and burst into color and fruit.  Where carrots will green and soften the harshness of the red NC mud underneath.  Corn will burst towards the sky and silks will blow in the wind reaching for the sunshine and catch the morning dew and applaud at the drops of water falling daily.  I just wish I remembered this feeling of excitement when I am wintering over. 

God is preparing the soil through the winter.  Warming the bulbs of the Iris' and Tulips to bring them to a heartier fruition in the dawn of April.  He does this for us, too, ya know.  Takes us through our pruning, our dying back of our green, luscious leaves to the dark underground of our lives.  He takes us there to nourish us through that winter in our world, that cold, dark, windy, brisk, chill-to-the-bone time.  Because in that darkness is the nourishment that He can only give.  The nourishment that would've been wasted on blooms and leaves and growing things.  The nourishment that enhances the deepest and strongest roots.  It's not necessarily strength for the next springtime of our lives, but the next winter.  The one where we will be more prepared, equipped, ready and able to handle the cold and the darkness.

Thank you God for your infinite wisdom in my life.  Thank you for helping me to winter over and see the spring.  Thank you for giving us life, eternal life, where love springs eternal as well.  Thank you God!

Learning from her

I am an extremely lucky woman.  I am married to the most wonderful man ever.  He loves me.  The whole me.  Even the parts I don't love.  Now, that's true, unconditional, Godly love for another.  As I continue to marvel in the maturity of my boys and their journeys through their lives with the Heavenly Father, it causes me to wonder about my hubby.  A lot of people grow and mature and become amazing human beings even though they may have had an awful childhood.  My husband's childhood was not horrid, at least he has never eluded to that at all.  He has been through his share of trials and tribulations.  He suffered the loss of his twin brother at the age of 2 1/2 and still to this day feels as though that part of him is missing.  The relationship between twins is such an amazing one.  His parents were divorced shortly after his brother's death.  His other 5 siblings used to torture him as any good older sibling does.  But here is the thing.  What I have learned of his mother and from his mother, my mother-in-law, is nothing short of remarkable.  

This woman is a beautiful, wonderful soul.  She did what it took to make sure her kids were provided for, even if that meant multiple jobs and missing out on lots of "firsts" to do so.  When I first met Marge, I was, well, a little spoiled Southern girl who had stolen the heart of her baby boy.  David was the last of the kids, the baby.  She was gracious and polite.  I am sure I was "nice in a Southern way" which means my heart and mind were probably not as sweet as the tea I was used to drinking.  Marge was/is/will always be a nurse.  She and her hubby live on a working farm in Southern Colorado where hard work was invented.  So she held down her day job caring for others and her weekend/evening job of planting/weeding/harvesting on the farm.  There was always lots to do and work was NEVER done.  David and I moved out there with 3 kids in tow and she and hubby let us bunk with them for 3 months.  They were always doing that.  Opening their home to those of us dreamers who wanted to brave the wild, wild west for ourselves.  I was nervous and sometimes overwhelmed by the rugged personality Marge possessed daily.  I cried a lot and called my mother a lot and whined and toughened up and opened my eyes and grew up and grew a set and put on my big girl panties and learned so much from her and grew to love her.  Not because she was my husband's mother and it was expected of me, but because she loved me and took me under her wing when I was so far from home and from everything I knew as safe and perfect.  I learned that home was where my husband and I were and perfect was unattainable, but working to do my best was admirable.  I learned how to sow and harvest and in the in between times be patient while God grew what was under the soil into something delicious.  Both in the garden and in my heart.

She grew up going to a Catholic school so attending church is pretty much a no-go for her.  She didn't talk about God much.  I believe the nuns must've done it in for her.  But she believes, so beautifully, that God is the maker of her universe and the lover of her soul.  Many times in my immature rantings of worries and doubts in my life, my marriage, my kids, etc. she would pipe up and say, "Where is your faith?  Don't you know that God is going to take care of you?  He will provide for you always!"  Never did I expect my spiritual journey to be brought back on track by my mother-in-law.

Marge taught me to can food, freeze the harvest, cook and stop whining.  She was blunt and to the point and never held anything back.  Honesty was her policy, even when you really didn't want it.  She showed me that it was ok if my kids got dirty, and dirty was an understatement!  I remember how I used to wipe every crumb off of their hands and faces and follow them around doing so.  One day I returned home to find the kids covered in mud from head to toe and alive.  Yea, they hadn't died or become sick or anything from the large doses of dirt and water and goopy mud in every crevice of their little bodies.  

I will always respect my mother-in-law.  I will always love her.  I only hope she knows how much I appreciate her and her willingness to let God work through her to shape my life.  I can only hope that my boys will be as wonderful as hers and will make their wives as happy as I am because of her hard work and values she instilled in her son.

Thank you God for my family.  My beautiful, wonderful family.  Help me to let them know how much I appreciate them daily.  Thank you God for knowing what was good for me, even when I thought I had it all figured out.

Titus 2 

¹You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. ²Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.

 ³Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. ⁴Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, ⁵to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

 ⁶Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. ⁷In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness ⁸and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

Whistle while you work

My 10 yo daughter has learned to whistle.  She practices all the time.  Stopping long enough to say, "I love to whistle!"  Then right back at it.  It's such a Christopher robin moment for me.  I love to encourage her interests and watch her grow through her adventurous experiments, whether whistling or exploring nature.  So beautiful.

Like watching first steps.  Listening to first giggles.  Wiping the first tears from heart break.  Bandaging the first (of many) scrapes.  Enjoying the first of many lectures on all she's learned. So, I pray that her whistling never ceases.

My 16 yo son was waiting for me at the door last night.  "You have to come here.  You have to see something." I was excited thinking maybe he had folded the laundry and put it away and was wanting to show me how clean his room was....NOT.  But, it was so much better.  He led me to the computer and pulled this up:

The Way We Pray « Videos « The Skit Guys

I love my Elij.  He's at such a sweet spot in his life right now where everything is as it should be.  Laughter spews out of each sparkle in his eyes.  He bats those big beautiful eyes with those ten inch eyelashes and I was basking in the glory of my kids and their beautiful lives.  What an awesome God we serve.

I'm loving the whistling and the laughter in my house again.  The simplicity of it all humbles me to my very core.  I was created to be the mother of 5 amazing humans.

God bless your day.  God bless your whistling.  God bless your laughing.  God bless your tears.  God bless.

Under Construction

"Where have you been?"  I know, I hear ya.  I have not been slacking in the blog department, really.  I have written many blog posts.  So many that I don't know how or what to post.  Why?  Because I have been having some "work" done.  Ha!  I wish it was that kind, not really.  Little nip here little tuck there.  More like heart surgery, the spiritual kind.


I have been exercising the oldest rule known to man, implemented by your mother..."If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."  (Although, it is my narcissistic blog, right?)  But, I could only write really whiny things that I would've been looking for validation.  (Again, narcissism abounds.)


I must say that I have had a lot of time to think about the crap that exudes past the strongest muscle in my body, my tongue, and thought that maybe I should tame it a little in order to gain some credibility.  However, I am not apologizing for my views, or opinions, or random things that may have rubbed someone the wrong way because these words are me.  All of the good, the bad and the really boring.


I have found strength in the quiet.  A calm period to let the cement cure.  God has come into my life during this time to reaffirm my life as a mom and a wife and a friend and a daughter of the Almighty Father.  I know what I do is, by many opinions, downright unpopular.  Being a SAHM.  A homeschooling mom.  A mother who puts high biblical and moral standards on her children.  However, I thank God today for my ability to be close to my children, in proximity and spirit.  I thank Him for the provision He has allowed me to take on three jobs to help me to stay where I am.  It's not the ideal for most, but it's the decision that my hubby and I have decided is the best for our children and our family.  I cannot praise God enough in this area of my life.  Most of the time I feel beaten down all around me, then God reveals himself in my patient endurance and I'm amazed at His love and contagious joy.  Thank you God!  Hallelujah!  You are Jehovah Jirah!  I am your faithful servant.  Here I am, take me.


My husband told me that I was an awesome mom.  Let me tell you, that enabled the "I could kick Arnold Schwarzeneger's butt" instinct!  I was empowered by him.  God is at work in this family and I am humbled at the chance to watch it happen.  Thank you God for all you have done for us!


Then the affirmation for the One himself who empowers us to be parents of good character:


 "Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." -Deuteronomy 6:5-9