If this was you, please stop. If this might be you, please don't. If you have done this before, please cease from ever doing it again.
Believe me, your children will thank you.
I realize every once in a blue moon that there is so much blog material out there in the real world that it does require one to leave their house in order to soak it all in.
Target was the target. Groceries, prescription and of course, a little Starbucks to keep us warm on the way to the car.
While paying for my "Christmas in a cup", a mom and three kids started a line behind me. They would've gone completely unnoticed had it not been for the sweet cherub about 6 years of age growling at his much older tween sister and constantly hitting her, which led to her groaning, "Mo-om. Make him stop!" I decided not to turn around, don't look, it's not your child. I decided to let mom go ahead and give him the evil death stare that is capable of ending conflicts in the middle east. As my daughter and I moved to the "pick up" area of the counter, it became clear that mom was not interested in getting involved either. I really did feel for her. He seemed a little bit like a strong willed child and maybe this cup o' joe was a way of medicating herself to deal with things. Starbucks can do miracles, if you get the right barista. Little Johhny was, at this point, taking a run at his sister's backside with his forearm and smacking her so hard she was about to cry. I really couldn't help but watch now out of pure amazement that he was getting away with it. I also caught his eye and gave him the "are you kidding me" look which sent his eyes south and he sat on the floor. The other sister was younger and taking cover behind her older sister. Mom must really be fried! I was curious what her miracle concoction for herself would consist of...decaf? nonfat? sugar-free? maybe all the way with caff, double pump of caramel and raspberry with extra whip AND sprinkles? She deserved it in my book. Go mom! As I tried to remain inconspicuous during my eavesdropping out poured those words, "Three Hot Chocolates please." At first, I just thought why would you need three? Why not just get a Venti? Why have to carry.....Oh, no you didn't? Did you just order three hot chocolates for your children? Did you just turn to your son and politely tell him after he beat his sister that his is almost ready? Darlin', darlin', darlin'.
What to do? What to say? Nothing. That's right, nada. It's not my place, not my child, not my business to discern which parenting styles are good for other parents.
BUT...
Please don't buy your children hot chocolate when they exhibit obviously bad behavior. Just don't. It only reaffirms to them that you approve of the behavior so much that it deserves hot chocolate. Just once or twice refraining from such prizes will change that behavior. I know it will. Believe me, I know.
I pray for this mom. I pray for her and those like her that are at their wits end. I pray for these children. I pray that God will intervene and bring harmony and balance to their lives. Prayers. God bless this mom. Bless her beyond her wildest dreams that she will know its only you who could have blessed her.
4 comments:
LOL How did you keep from setting her straight? My mom's standard answer to any guff in a public place like a store was to march us to the car and paddle our bottoms. It was like in Monopoly when you get sent to jail and DON'T get to collect money for passing GO! Funny how we rarely acted like hoodlums.
Oh dear. She was definitely fried. I don't take my kids out for stuff until we've had the "this is a public place, you behave" talk. I probably would have left the kids at home and taken MYSELF out for hot chocolate.
I remember when I had my three in Harris Teeter. They were 5,3,and 1 and one of them started the fit and I had a full cart of groceries and still need to finish the shopping. When they all started in and wouldn't stop...I remember pushing the cart up to the front, apologizing to the clerk that would have to put up the groceries that I was leaving and going back to the holla with them. And asking Tim to pick up a few things on his way home. I don't remember ever having to do that again...It's surprising how fast they learn that momma ain't kiddin!!! Love ya!
What a detrimental thing to do to your kids. Reward them in public. Not only does it set a bad premise for them but also shows those around you that YOU HAVE LOST YOUR MIND.
I can't believe how many parents I see who exhibit the same type of behavior. What will that child be like in 6 months, 6 years or 16 years. Scary.
Life is a journey. My journey takes me places I love and Don't like so much. I can't imagine what tat journey would be like had I allowed my children to act that way in public. Life would be just that much harder.
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