Immersed

As Adam prepared for his departure these last few weeks I tried not to let my emotions get the best of me. I know how excited he is to get out and try this thing called life. I cry often, it usually doesn't take much to get the waterworks to flow. I have been unusually dry eyed through this process. But the night before he left, I cried off and on most of the night through moments of "don't forgets" and "remember whens", which didn't leave much room for sleep.

Since becoming a mother to this clan that God has gifted to David and I , I have been totally immersed in their lives and them in mine. Not necessarily obsessively but by choice and habit and, well, parenthood. So being completely surrounded by the "life of Adam" and trying to reconcile being in a season of drought in this area makes me wonder how this will play out from this moment on. As a mother, I know that I will always be his mom and he will always be my son, by definition and, of course, the state of North Carolina's County clerk's office. I liked the environment of Adam. He was like walking through a 24/7 amusement park! Laughs and cries and stand-up comedy and music and sights and sounds of what ingredients made up his recipe for that day. I'm sure I will visit that park again, but the attractions will probably be more mature and have more of him and less of my influences. I am looking forward to reading the marquee. I will patiently wait and watch as he turns this life of his into something he chooses. I will, of course, be open to sharing any advice he might want to hear, if asked.....

I told Adam to not do certain things and all of those other motherly things boys of that age don't really see as important discussions to have with their mothers. But I also told him to look for those opportunities in life that will bring him closer to that plan that God has for him. Be young, have fun. Always, always remember that we love you and we will always be here for you and you are welcome back any time you want to come home forever or just for a visit.

I wonder if the Heavenly Father feels the same way about us when we pack up our belongings into our heart and move miles apart from His presence. We feel a sense of freedom when we choose our own steps for the day, but when we find ourselves lost and alone and longing for homemade chicken soup for the soul, we come running back into his open arms. Arms that are willing to embrace us in all of our faults. Arms that protect us, sometimes from ourselves. Arms that raise us high. Arms that hold us down or back when we need it. Arms that beckon us home or wave us good-bye. Arms so full of love. But then we learn to live with Him there in our hearts everyday, leaning on Him for guidance and running to Him with praises and joys and thankfulness. Hitting our knees and asking for help, knowing we can always ask..... I thank God for the wonderful example of parenting that He has laid out there for us to follow.

Ephesians 5:1-2

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.