Warning: May Cause Bruising

This concept of growing up is harrowing.  I pride myself on being a grown up with childlike tendencies.  I know when to act like a grown up, most of the time, and I know when to laugh and have fun.  But in reality no matter how hard you try you can never avoid growing up.  It requires vertical movement of time and the addition of years onto your age.  Your stature changes as you mature and click off the next mark on the door jamb with the appropriate date, which proves you have grown an inch since the last measurement.  You push your way through the educational system or out of the system and find yourself working or studying at a local university or hanging out with the peeps.  But, you're still grown up.  As this is a physical manifestation of time, what about the spiritual, mental, conceptual clicking of the secondhand?  The growing out part?

I've had the privilege and the wonder to see this new vision of growing out in my children.  I had never really thought of it that way, but that defines it much better for me.  Growing out makes the world a bit bigger.  You can grow a tree in the same small pot, but eventually it reaches it's full potential in that small pot and can no longer thrive.  It may stay green, but it will start to look weak, stop producing fruit and just become sad.  Amazing what a find you can get on the clearance rack at your local garden center because the plant "looks" dead.  All it needs is to grow out.  You have to replant from your small environment into the one you're meant to thrive.  Leaving room for roots to spread and runners to shoot off and start their own plants here and there.  Growing out. 

John 15:2

He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.

It's this pruning part that brings us out of our infancy into a world full of fruit bearers and growth, reaching for the sun.  As I watch my two older boys planting roots far away from me I become an emotional mess.  On one hand I wish I were there to check up on them physically and make sure they had what they needed, pick up the slack, cook them a dinner or two.  But then the pendulum swings and a sense of wonder fills my heart with being here and watching them grow out.  Hearing how they've moved into the direction of growing out.  How each has had their own challenges to meet, decide the course, take action and stay in motion.  It brings my heart joy knowing that they desire to be in motion.  The challenges haven't grown them up too fast, and haven't squelched the desire to move, but have given them the ability to continue to grow out.  Reaching for the Son as guidance hopefully will be their goal.  

In observance of my offspring, though, I have realized that I am also still growing out.  I've lived in the illusion that once my kids were a certain age that I was pretty much an adult myself and that "growing up" or growing out was pretty much a slowed pace, almost a non existence.  But no, I digress.  This stage in my life of letting go of the parental in-house control and giving them up to the heavenly hosts to look after has been one of trepidation.  But growing out with myself and being able to see how God works in their lives is a sweet front row seat ticket!  It's that moment where your aren't dependent on your parents emotionally for growing out, but you grow out in spite of their presence.  I still grow out with my mom by my side a lot, but not because I'm dependent of her for my growth, but because she likes the view and I like having her there to lean on for support, but not life support.  

So, as the scars remain from the pruning I have experienced, they will remain for my children, as well.  But the fruit, as a result of the pruning, tastes ever so sweet and is in such abundance that the scars become a "God and me" badge, one to add to my sash of badges.  God knows what's best.  He knows where you'll thrive the best.  He knows how far away you'll be, but he knows we must continue to grow out.  And the only way out is choosing to grow out instead of just growing up.

I hope you enjoy the warmth of the sunshine, the quenching rains, the stretching of your limbs as you continue to grow out.