Friday, February 11, 2011

Awkward (very sing-songy voice)

Sometimes I get myself into the weirdest spots.  Like last night.  Hmmmm....  what was I thinking?!  Why do I do that?  For free stuff, really?  I don't even wear a ton of jewelry, nor do I think that if I was wearing blue jeans and a ratty old t-shirt that a "90 inches of fun" would make me acceptable to the local grocery store cashier that doesn't even know how to classify popular produce.  "Is this a green pepper?"  No, that's a green apple.  Ok, a little dramatic on that one.  But do I really look more put together with my pearls crocheted around my neck with my stained clothes?  Does the bling make everyone blind to my lacking in laundry washing skills?  And is everything really "fabulous", really?  I think that's a stretch.  I love the disclaimer that it will last forever if..... you don't let any child under the age of 5 handle it while its around your neck, don't wear it in the shower (really, you have to say that?), don't mow the grass with it on, don't sweat, on purpose, in it and if you do then be sure to immediately wash it in a mild soap and rinse immediately with warm water and dry and polish with a soft cloth and place in a dark climate controlled area when not in use.  So, basically for me, just don't wear it.

I was totally blinded by the fact that I would get free stuff if I hosted a party for my friends.  Ha!  My friends saw right through the "don't wear it because it's not guaranteed if you do" clause and didn't buy enough for me to qualify for free stuff.  A night of sparkly awkwardness for what?  No free stuff.  Dang!  But, for a split second while I was modeling said jewelry I looked "absolutely fab"!!!

So, when I said last night that I would host another party, I lied.  I flat out totally lied.  I remember now why I don't do these things.  With the exception of being able to hang out with my friends and family and eat hummus, but I really don't need to sell jewelry to do that.

God just asks of me to love others, not decorate them.

3 comments:

Jen said...

LOL!!! But "I just love that!" Let me tell you something....you don't need "90 inches of fun" for me to think you're hot! (I'd settle for 3 inches of "mmm...ok." Girrrl you are smokin with or without the jewelry. And frankly I like my women without all the bling! Just for the record I had a great time because I got to laugh with you girls :) Honey, for you I'd do it again in a heartbeat ;)

Jennifer said...

you are awesome! So jealous i missed out. I was running kids to bball practice! And you are perfect without the man made bling! Sorry I was the instigator wasn't I?

Kelly said...

Oh, blame it on the consultant. NEVER should you feel awkward with bling. Of course, my fashion loves are shoes, bling, and clothes and I try never to go without! Clothes being the non-optional part. Bling only enhances your natural beauty, which you are GORGEOUS. I guess she needs to be taught how to bring every womans diva :) love you!! Wish I could have been there!

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