April 28, 1969

So, I have officially as of the wee hours of this morning reached that milestone of 40 glorious years on this planet. As I am waning nostalgic over my life the past 4 decades I realize it makes me rather dizzy thinking of all of that stuff. Maybe that's just vertigo, I hear that happens when you get older sometimes. Hold on, let me grab my reading glasses........Uh, hum....I have decided that God is fond of me. Yea, it's taken me awhile to get to this point. I think he kinda likes me a little. I have been through some tough stuff in my life, not like so many others lives in the blogdom, but tough for my little ole preacher's daughter's life. I have still got those secret sins in my closet that I haven't come clean with, maybe those will be blogged about later when I've washed my hands of them, but my life overall is pretty dang good. (Sorry, Lizbeff, gateway word!) My mom walked me through the rapid version of my birthday. "We went to bed on the night of the 27th. My water broke very shortly afterward. Got to the hospital and you were born in the wee hours of the 28th!" Yee ha!

My body has been torn apart and repaired 5 times by the heavenly travelers I call my kids and I am extremely blessed by each and every one of their lives. My heart has been broken many a times, but thankfully God sent me David to heal it for good, never to be broken again. I am privileged to know and to love some of the most wonderful people God created in my family and friends. They are all so special to me. See...God loves me. I have a wonderful life! I have been privileged to have spent 40 years so far here with these blessings. Hopefully many more to come!

So, I guess on this, the day of my birth I am thankful for my life and all that it encompasses. Thank you God for this, my life. Thank you God for all you have done and brought me through. Thank you God!

OOOhhhh that hurt!

I have to say that I have experienced many instances as a mother of 5 children hearing the devastating heart breaking wailing sounds from my children. Some are audible, some are silently loud! I hate those sounds, it goes to the very core of my soul and contorts into this indescribable pain. But you know if you have children around you what those sounds are. It could be the sound of your child falling as they are learning to walk. The sound of your crawling infant when the cat has had enough of tail-pulling games. The sound of your teenager that calls and says "Mom (you can hear his lip quivering and his heart pounding), I wrecked the truck. I'm ok." GULP!

We have graciously offered to babysit (maybe not the right term here) the pastor's snakes. There are only two, non poisonous snakes. A black rat snake and a corn snake. I'm fine with it because they are in their enclosure and really aren't much trouble at all. I lost my insane fear of snakes when Sarah was a toddler and would bring them in from outside, so as long as they are in something that I don't have to catch them, I'm good. She is in love with these creatures! Just beaming with joy every time she talks to them through the glass.

Our pastor is selling his house. Anywho....they were having to tote the enclosure up to the attic so as not to offend potential buyers. So, we offered to take them just for a time until they sell their house. That being said, they are happily housed on top of my sewing machine cabinet. Let me tell you, people don't run over to visit when you have snakes! So my son and my son's girlfriend, who loves snakes, and my oldest son and Sarah were admiring the reptilian wonders when Sarah decided to take the rocks off of the top for a closer inspection. To that, the oldest son chimed in, "you need to wait for dad to do that!" He was not willing to chase the snakes through the house! She waited for dad. Then she got a little to anxious and excited and started to pull it out of the enclosure. She didn't have hold of the snake at the right point, which led the snake to turn it's head and chomp down on her knuckle. Let me say, the sound she made was not one I'd heard in a while and it sent me to that place. It wasn't a sound of a painful wail as much as it was a sound of a broken heart. She was so upset. Upset that the snake wouldn't let her hold it and love on it, etc. Yes, there were teeth marks, followed by soapy hands and peroxide and an ice pack, but nothing worked on that heart, it was swollen with dispair. The only thing that made the pain subside was bigger gator tears. It was a HARD lesson to learn, a painful one, physically and emotionally. We're now on the other side of it and life is good.

But here is the sound that took me to that place and has left me there without a ride home....."Mom, something bad happened today, I'll tell you when I get home." What? You can't just say that and then not tell me what it was. First clue was that my son was on his brother's cell phone. Questionable. "Where is your phone?" "I'll tell you when I get home." "Did it get stolen?" "Yes, Mom. I'll tell you when I get home." Great. Then the next phone call came to inform me that his car won't start and can you bring jumper cables? This was now my younger son, the phone owner, who then proceeds to tell me that John is REALLY mad. Upon inquiry I got the younger son to confess the situation to me as he is locked in the car behind glass where his brother can't hear him. Sort of a cell phone to mom confession booth. It seems as though, John had left his jeans in the locker room with his friends belongings and went off to track practice. Sometime while he was running someone removed his cell phone and his wallet from his pockets. He had inadvertently had the money he had been saving for the summer mission trip with the church in his wallet. They took the money and put the wallet back folded backwards, sort of a signature "gotcha". Now at this point some of you may be saying, "why did he take that to school?" Yes, I know and so does he that this was not the best choice. However, he is the victim here, not the perpetrator and he is not completely at fault. It's almost like saying "she deserved to be raped because of her outfit." Not a great decision to wear it, but that doesn't make it right that it happened. That's a little bit of an extreme example, but ok....moving on. He has been building fences with a friend of ours, digging holes for posts and putting up panels and crawling under houses to cover crawl spaces with plastic. He isn't afraid of work and would rather raise the money himself than ask people to donate to the cause. He's always been that way. It's a trait I really admire. But sometimes the world makes it impossible. I don't know whose child stripped my son of his dignity and joy, but I'm in that place right now where I could spank someone else's child and feel really good about it. I don't care about the phone. I don't even really care about the money, because I know he will raise it somehow. He may have to ask for it. I care that his heart is broken because his fellow students stooped to the level like this. I don't like the sound of a broken heart. It must be similar to the sound that those dog whistles make that only dogs can hear. It is making my ears ring and my eyes well up with tears and my head to bow for forgiveness of my feelings and my heart to tear yet a little more. I have prayed for this individual, but out of my knowing I should, not out of wanting to. Don't worry, I will get there....when the noise subsides. Right now, all else is inaudible.

I know God will make it clear the purpose of each heart break. A learning moment, teaching moment, etc. I know that with pain comes healing and redemption. I know that my children are going to be just fine in spite of the world. I know that Jesus loves them more than I and knows what's best more than I do. I know that all is well eventhough it hurts. "Joy, in all things." Yes, God, in all things.

God Bless. God bless my children. God bless those who don't know you. God bless the heart breakers. God bless. God. Bless.

Woo Hoo! You go girl!

Ok, this is amazing! You must follow this link and watch! It will make your heart full of joy for this lady! Go Susan!

Susan Boyle Sings

Extravagant Worship

So after my last post this title must seem odd to some. You should know that helping others understand the term worship is important to me. Silence in some ways is a form of worship. "WHAT?!" you say. It is, try it, then make some noise in praise! Here it is. This is a good definition: Worship is to regard with ardent or adoring esteem or devotion. Yea, so...... To some worship is a time, it is something that takes place in a certain place and nowhere else. To most it is referred to as "worship time" (like you can differentiate between worship and non worship time.) OK, if I have lost you I apologize, but first things first. Worship in it's truest form is 24/7 and should be as constant as breathing. As involuntary as a heart beat. That is where we struggle with our spiritual journey for most. It becomes this outfit we change into on certain days, or the show we turn on at 8, or the dinner we fix twice a week or the family we visit twice a year on Easter and Christmas. Pick up your feet off the floor quickly, 'cause that may have hurt. Sorry. (Not really.)

I'm gonna let you in on a story. It's a story of a man. He woke in worship, slept in worship, did it all in worship to the one true God. One day he decided to throw a little dinner party for his closest friends. Now to his friends this was just another dinner to hang out and laugh and discuss theology, or laugh about theology! IDK. I'm sure they all brought a side dish to share and kicked off their sandals at the door. As they prepared that traditional passover meal one more time they were readying themselves for another meal. Jesus, however knew this was His last meal. You know, if anyone had a good excuse not to make it to a small group meeting, church event, church service, or whatever God puts out there to bless you with, it was Jesus. I wouldn't blame Him for callin' and sayin', "Hey look guys, I think I'm busy tonight, I need to go to the garden for a while and talk to Dad." But, He was there for you and me and them, even those who don't believe, He gave it up for us all. He knew that what was in store for Him was death on a cross for all humanity and our sinful nature. Those past sins, the present ones and the ones to come (yea, those would be mine). Whenever I try to think of a good excuse not to go to a function that glorifies God I am reminded of Jesus' ultimate sacrifice and decide that I can skip my plans and let God work through his.

I am trying out this 24/7 worship. I am taking my mind to that place. Yesterday, my plans were so rudely interrupted by what God had in mind and I must say, His plans were much better. I got to spend my day with the best looking, most wonderful 19 year old soul on the planet. Adam is my center, he keeps the pendulum swinging. He's a very cool human being! I also got to spend some time with my parents all to myself. I need that more often. I miss them and I see them a lot, but I miss my dad waking me up for chores and my mom cooking and me taking them for granted and leaving my clothes on the floor. I miss that. Thank you God for messing with my plan for the day and blessing me more than I ever could've dreamt.

So worship, like there's no earthly tomorrow. Give Him your best, your firsts, your all! After all, He did. Happy Easter!!!!!!!!

Mute Blessings

Those that know me well, know that I am not exactly the most quiet person around. I absolutely love to sing. I'm an alto. I belt it out. I worship. I really worship. I worship as if God and I are the only two in the room. If you can decipher anything from my posts to make you understand that I am verbally passionate then you get it.

However, when I am not singing in worship to Him, my mouth tends to run, often like a leaky faucet. I use to rarely keep things to myself. I have been trying harder and harder in the last few months to only speak when I really feel led to do so.

So I decided to try out a little experiment. I was "watching" my nieces and nephews in VA with two of my kids, which really means I was in their way, so I headed out to Wally World to do some grocery shopping. I decided that I was going to try out not talking. Ok, so it was easy because my sister wasn't there to talk to anyway, which if you know her at all you know I usually don't get in a word edgewise anyway, but I thought I'd try shutting my mouth for a while. (Mel, you know it's true! I love ya!)

I headed to the store. Turned off the music in the car (a no-no for me to go without music!) Ever realize how loud your tires are as they make that constant circular motion on the pavement? Quiet, so loud my ears hurt, quiet. I found my list, which I usually forget, and headed into the store. Grabbed a basket and off to shop, quietly, in WalMart... can anyone else say "oxymoron"? Focusing in my shopping list. You see, I determined that not only would my mouth be quiet, but my mind would be as clear as I could get it. I wouldn't be thinking about the laundry or the dinner or the kids projects or the trip home or anything. Do you know how loud those shopping carts are when they rattle? Did you also know how far a two year old cry carries in a superstore? "If a child screams in the pharmacy, will those in the dairy still hear them?" Answer: YES!!!! Then came the blessings. I could see so much more around me with my mouth closed. Odd isn't it? I never knew my vision was blocked by my tongue. Hmmm....I'm sure others have noticed my blindness. My hearing was peaked. The sound was deafening. I found myself out in the world, but not of it. Did you hear me? I could hear so gently the sound of what God was wanting me to hear. The gentle music of my environment played for me. The answers I had asked for, searched for, being spoken gently. Those things I could've heard had I made it quiet in my head. God blesses, we question the blessing, it's amazing he allows us to go around talkin' at all.

Zechariah and Elizabeth were without children. They longed for a child to bless their lives and to carry on the name. Very important for them to have a son and it seemed like an impossible dream, a fading dream. Then, that which they prayed for, that blessing of a family. The heavenly angel dropped by to let Zechariah know that a baby was on the way. He couldn't really believe it fully. He questioned the future blessing, which did not please God and the angel did what he had to do. He struck him mute. Yep, hit the mute button. Now if you read the story you can tell that this was a BIG deal for those around Zechariah who knew him. It seems implied that for him not to be able to speak was a shock.....or maybe a blessing. Yes a child, but not just a child, but a son. Can you imagine the shock? They were not spring chickens you know. Check it out in the book of Luke.

God blessed Z and his wife through their faith, but upon question decided that His glory, God's glory, is the one that should shine through, not Zechariah's words. Have you ever thought about how much of a blessing you could be by not speaking? Not just not speaking, but not making ANY noise, glances, emotional faces, THE LOOK and letting God get a word in edgewise. I'm gonna try to be more aware of what God is trying to say, His point that he wants to get across, not mine. What God wanted for Zechariah to do was clear. His instructions were not questionable, there was NO room for doubt. When Zechariah did as he was told he could speak once again.

Almighty Father, Blessed Redeemer, have mercy on me and my voice, my speech, my conversations. Thank you for not pushing the mute button. Help me to choose my words wisely, help me in my every day moments to steer away from doubt and be open to your guidance and trust that your way is the only way for me and my house. Thank you God for loving me in spite of my tongue.

Revision:
Which is why I have been pretty quiet here. I am trying very hard to make sure that those authors of blogs I like to read, know that what they have to say is important, inspiring, funny, uplifting to me and my day. To make sure we all know that we are worthy sisters of God who can support each other every day. I'm just (not) sayin'. I'm really trying to listen to those bloggers and lift them up in what they do. I love you all!

Those little buggers!

The rain has poured on a saturated ground here and it just keeps coming. Just when you think it has stopped, oh no, no, no, no, no, here it comes again. I've decided that moving to Seattle may give me a little break from the rain here! The rain, as I have been in and out of it is a blessing, but a curse to those of us with natural curly hair. Why style? Mother nature styles it for me. Now that my busy two weeks has subsided a bit I find myself barricaded inside the boundaries of my house and property engulfing it. To some, this may seem like a break from a hectic schedule, but to me it is a reminder that it has been two weeks since I really concentrated on my home and its contents.

My kids are starting to dig into the box of clothes to be donated to wear those jeans that now look like capris because the laundry is overtaking the upstairs hallway. Did they forget that they know how to do the laundry? I am getting sick and tired of giving my washing machine the fabric softener enema when the rinse cycle comes on since it does not operate in the automatic capacity it is supposed to and dispense it naturally. Sad, when you have to set the timer on your stove to remember to get the softener in the machine. I love this new technology in my front loader! Ha!

I swept this morning. I have no carpet in my house, I don't believe in it. My kids are healthier, I believe, because we don't have the wall-to-wall allergy inducer in the house. Plus, if you have ever removed carpet to replace it and see what is left behind even after you vacuum, ick! Or how about what the contractors neglected to clean up before laying the carpet. Love my hardwoods! This makes it so much easier for me to observe and trap those pesky little buggers I like to refer to as "dust bunny warriors". I use to just see them and scoop 'em up and off they went, but because it has been a while since I saw my broom as a house chore tool and not transportation, the little ones have grown, multiplied, taken over, formed their own POA and decided to revolt! Colonel Nobody, the head of the dust bunny army is reaking havoc on my house. Throwing clean clothes on the floor, leaving dirty dishes where they shouldn't be, refusing to mow the lawn, not flushing toilets, leaving the shower curtain half in and half out. I know this because when I ask my troops they always respond that "Nobody did it". Now I know! I'm no match for their wits and strength....what....shall...I....do?
I.....
.........can't...................
......go...........
.............on.

"Bunnies have taken me hostage(stop) Colonel Nobody has sent out the order for termination of human control of the house(stop) Must find vacuum cleaner(stop) Need mop 'n' glo(stop) Army is too big to contain (stop) Please send reinforcements(stop)!

I have added a "how to" craft video for those of you who want a green way to recycle those bunnies! And just in time for Easter, too!
Don't you judge me!