Jesus take the wheel...ok, great, now give it back.

Control...what is it? Why do I feel I need it ALL of the time? What is so bad about not being in control? I can understand when we are speaking of control of bodily functions....I live with 5 boys/men in my house. Believe me, I know. Not that control, but the control we seem to think we have over our plans for the day, the week, the month or the rest of our lives and for that matter, our children's lives. Control meaning any of these things or make up your own:

1. To exercise authoritative or dominating influence over; direct
2. To adjust to a requirement; regulate
3. To hold in restraint; check

We grieve over plans gone awry. Plans that we've made that come with the expectation of fulfillment. Of success. Of finishing something. Oh how frustrating it is to not have those expectations come to fruition. We cry, wail, scream, shake our fists, curl up in the corner, get angry, pull away, stop talking altogether, blame the almighty. Or do we move on, ignore it, start over, change our expectations to fit the moment, remain superficial in our own lives going day to day without ever changing or growing? Leaving our lives open for God's work in us is a tricky thing for us humans to do. We're so used to having our agendas, checking our PDA's or cell phones, syncing our calendars to our emails. I've had to ask myself where I've put God on my calendar. Is he penciled in? Did I use permanent ink? Did I even put him on there to begin with? I hope that God is my personal assistant, scheduling my days to bring his glory to the surface. I want to leave my life open for him, but wow does the world creep in without me knowing it....My control, or the illusion of control, is ultimately a futile attempt to validate me and my life. But when I decided to follow Christ as my Lord and my Savior I was to die of self and start my life with him living in his plan. I often forget that while standing in line at the grocery with a cart full of junk. In looking around my house at all the clutter and stuff I don't need. In the thoughts that invade my time, stealing away the precious moments that will never be recovered. How awesome a God he is that sent his only son to die for me on that timber cross. To provide the hope in him to provide my life to be one that shines his glory.

Thank you God for your mercy and patience in such an undeserving soul. Thank you for your love for me. Thank you for hanging in there until I showed up on your doorstep. Thank you Father for all you provide for me and my family. Watch over my friends and family as we go about our days. Order our steps, even when we're not listening, steer us gently in the way we need to go.