Learning from her

I am an extremely lucky woman.  I am married to the most wonderful man ever.  He loves me.  The whole me.  Even the parts I don't love.  Now, that's true, unconditional, Godly love for another.  As I continue to marvel in the maturity of my boys and their journeys through their lives with the Heavenly Father, it causes me to wonder about my hubby.  A lot of people grow and mature and become amazing human beings even though they may have had an awful childhood.  My husband's childhood was not horrid, at least he has never eluded to that at all.  He has been through his share of trials and tribulations.  He suffered the loss of his twin brother at the age of 2 1/2 and still to this day feels as though that part of him is missing.  The relationship between twins is such an amazing one.  His parents were divorced shortly after his brother's death.  His other 5 siblings used to torture him as any good older sibling does.  But here is the thing.  What I have learned of his mother and from his mother, my mother-in-law, is nothing short of remarkable.  

This woman is a beautiful, wonderful soul.  She did what it took to make sure her kids were provided for, even if that meant multiple jobs and missing out on lots of "firsts" to do so.  When I first met Marge, I was, well, a little spoiled Southern girl who had stolen the heart of her baby boy.  David was the last of the kids, the baby.  She was gracious and polite.  I am sure I was "nice in a Southern way" which means my heart and mind were probably not as sweet as the tea I was used to drinking.  Marge was/is/will always be a nurse.  She and her hubby live on a working farm in Southern Colorado where hard work was invented.  So she held down her day job caring for others and her weekend/evening job of planting/weeding/harvesting on the farm.  There was always lots to do and work was NEVER done.  David and I moved out there with 3 kids in tow and she and hubby let us bunk with them for 3 months.  They were always doing that.  Opening their home to those of us dreamers who wanted to brave the wild, wild west for ourselves.  I was nervous and sometimes overwhelmed by the rugged personality Marge possessed daily.  I cried a lot and called my mother a lot and whined and toughened up and opened my eyes and grew up and grew a set and put on my big girl panties and learned so much from her and grew to love her.  Not because she was my husband's mother and it was expected of me, but because she loved me and took me under her wing when I was so far from home and from everything I knew as safe and perfect.  I learned that home was where my husband and I were and perfect was unattainable, but working to do my best was admirable.  I learned how to sow and harvest and in the in between times be patient while God grew what was under the soil into something delicious.  Both in the garden and in my heart.

She grew up going to a Catholic school so attending church is pretty much a no-go for her.  She didn't talk about God much.  I believe the nuns must've done it in for her.  But she believes, so beautifully, that God is the maker of her universe and the lover of her soul.  Many times in my immature rantings of worries and doubts in my life, my marriage, my kids, etc. she would pipe up and say, "Where is your faith?  Don't you know that God is going to take care of you?  He will provide for you always!"  Never did I expect my spiritual journey to be brought back on track by my mother-in-law.

Marge taught me to can food, freeze the harvest, cook and stop whining.  She was blunt and to the point and never held anything back.  Honesty was her policy, even when you really didn't want it.  She showed me that it was ok if my kids got dirty, and dirty was an understatement!  I remember how I used to wipe every crumb off of their hands and faces and follow them around doing so.  One day I returned home to find the kids covered in mud from head to toe and alive.  Yea, they hadn't died or become sick or anything from the large doses of dirt and water and goopy mud in every crevice of their little bodies.  

I will always respect my mother-in-law.  I will always love her.  I only hope she knows how much I appreciate her and her willingness to let God work through her to shape my life.  I can only hope that my boys will be as wonderful as hers and will make their wives as happy as I am because of her hard work and values she instilled in her son.

Thank you God for my family.  My beautiful, wonderful family.  Help me to let them know how much I appreciate them daily.  Thank you God for knowing what was good for me, even when I thought I had it all figured out.

Titus 2 

¹You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. ²Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.

 ³Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. ⁴Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, ⁵to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

 ⁶Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. ⁷In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness ⁸and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.