Hoofbeats, Heartbeats

I am not fun to hang around anymore.  Just read my last post for my attitude overview.  But what I mean by that statement is really something I have come to understand as my reality.  Because I decided to become vegan a few years ago, the dinner invites have drastically reduced.  And when I say drastically I mean we've only ever been asked by a handful of people to hang out and now noone asks.  At first I just chalked it up to the fact that it's totally overwhelming for people not to cook with meat and cheese.  It just sends them into a panic.  But then it's become more apparent that my attitude just sucks mostly and who wants to deal with that anyway?  I mean people have their own lives to deal with they don't need my meaningless drama oozing out of my pie-hole.  


I must exercise.  I just have to do it.  I know that my radical attitude adjustment and outlook on life will be much more positive as I beat the pavement with my Izumis.  The thought of listening to the side to side rhythms of my shoes hitting the ground makes me a bit giddy.  But then my day sets in and it doesn't happen and I throw myself on the bed like a 2 year old diva with the backside of my hand against my brow writhing in moans about how I have once again skipped my exercising.  I know.  I know without a doubt that exercising everyday or even every other day makes my overall demeanor pleasant.  


So, yesterday I downloaded the C25K app for my phone which actually syncs to my podrunner music as I go.  Whew, it was hard work downloading that app.  I think I burned .5 calories then probably ate something horrendous to offset what I just burned.  


Today, I set my alarm for 6.  I was going to get up.  I swear.  But my alarm went off and I massaged the snooze button til 7:05 which gave me 15 minutes to get ready for babies to darken my door.  I cannot do it during the day.  Not going to happen.  Why?  Well, here's the deal.  I am not bragging about this I promise you, but there isn't anyone I can call that can watch a set of one year old twins and an 18 month old and not look as though they've just been through a wind tunnel when I return.  It takes 2 or more people to make sure said toddlers don't try to take over the world while I'm gone.  The only other person that I know can do it already has a set of twins and two other kids of her own and when she's around I cannot stop staring at her amazingness!  Anyway, it's hard for me to coordinate a team of folks to come to my house just so I can get my lazy butt off the couch.  I really need to stop giving my phone alarm so much love in the morning.


It will happen, most likely tomorrow, but not promising that either.  Aren't you glad you're reading this very anti-motivational blog post about inadequacies and boredom?  See what your life has come to?  Reading my posts to make yourself feel better about your accomplishments!  I assure you, I will prevail!  It will happen and I will feel better about life.  Then, and only then will my social calendar possibly start looking up for those who actually want to put up with my presence.  LOL!!


So, here is the verse I am studying on today.  Interesting to think that the more I stay in this bad attitude place the more my life is that of a miscarriage or a stillbirth.  I must stop this nonsense.

Romans 7:4-6

The Message (MSG)

 So, my friends, this is something like what has taken place with you. When Christ died he took that entire rule-dominated way of life down with him and left it in the tomb, leaving you free to "marry" a resurrection life and bear "offspring" of faith for God. For as long as we lived that old way of life, doing whatever we felt we could get away with, sin was calling most of the shots as the old law code hemmed us in. And this made us all the more rebellious. In the end, all we had to show for it was miscarriages and stillbirths. But now that we're no longer shackled to that domineering mate of sin, and out from under all those oppressive regulations and fine print, we're free to live a new life in the freedom of God.