It's not you, it's me.....

The wafting smell of a pot roast simmering in Lipton Onion Soup Mix for hours on end can send my mind to a place of love and warmth and friendship and Sunday afternoons.  The taste of homemade ice cream makes me want to put on my pinafore and run around in the church courtyard and play tag.  The sight of my friends Too-Much -Chocolate cake or the Oh-so-yummy carrot cake make me want shrill in delight.  All of these emotions evoked by the sight, smell, taste of food.  For years, I have been an emotional eater.  I'm sad and I need a chocolate cake.  I'm depressed and I need some chips.  I'm lonely and I need a plate of mashed potatoes.  I'm happy and I need to celebrate with Fettuccine Alfredo.  I don't feel anything so I must need something to eat, how about crockpot barbecue!

Food is defined at the Princeton online dictionary as "any substance that can be metabolized by an animal to give energy and build tissue; any solid substance (as opposed to liquid) that is used as a source of nourishment; "food and drink"; anything that provides mental stimulus for thinking."  I like this definition.  It defines food in a scientific manner in its inanimate effect on our bodies.  Afterall, food can't really provide anything else other than nutrition, right?  It can't function as comforter or listener, right?

However, this next definition I absolutely hate and I feel it is what motivates our obesity as a nation.  This one comes from wikipedia and as we know of wikipedia, most is made up by users and isn't necessarily correct in every situation.  The real definition of food isn't this, but as for the cultural definition of food, this one is right on the money.  "Food is any substance, composed of carbohydrates, water, fats, proteins and water, that can be eaten or drunk by animals, including humans, for nutrition or pleasure. Items considered food may be sourced from plants, animals or other categories such as fungus. ..."  So, what makes the last definition so vile, IMO?  Well, it's that one little word.  The "p" word.  Tacking on "or pleasure" in that sentence after nutrition almost cancels out nutrition altogether.  Because if it was about nutrition AND pleasure then we would take both of those words into account.  Right?  When is the last time you did not associate food with some sort of emotion, like pleasure?  "Oh my gosh, that was sooooo good!" Like it took on some sort of orgasmic experience?

I recently read an article by Victor Epand on "Endorphins and the Science of Addictions", and while he was speaking directly to the addictions children have with video games, I honestly believe that this science applies across the board to the addictive behavior we all possess.  Here is what he had to say:

"So what is meant by addiction, as far as doctors and medical practitioners are concerned? Basically, when the body or brain is engrossed in an activity, chemicals are released into the bloodstream, and quickly end up with the brain. These chemicals can make a persons' mood change quite dramatically, cheering them up, making them feel happy or good about themselves, distracted from the stresses and strains of life, and generally feeling positive and satisfied. Similar words and concepts used to describe addictions to drugs, cigarettes and alcohol. When an athlete runs or exercises hard, endorphins are released into the body and these can actually have the effect of giving the athlete a 'high', making them feel a rush of positive happiness. This can become very addictive, just as the body can become addicted to any chemical introduced to the brain which makes the brain feel good. "

This is not an uncommon science.  I am confident in saying that every doctor or health professional, western or eastern, will affirm the beliefs laid out in this article.  If you have an unhealthy lifestyle as an individual or a family and you want to become healthier, you must overcome this  habit of associating food with an emotion.  Divorce your food.  Send it a Dear John and tell it to never darken your door again!  Ok, in the emotional sense, not literal.  You cannot do without food, that is a given.  But food was never placed in your midst to become this idol of sorts that controls your life, controls your health, controls your budget, controls every aspect of your life.  

When I married and became a mom, I expected of myself to grow this gene of love of all things nurturing to my family.  I shopped.  I agonized over meal plans.  I looked for bargains.  I woke up thinking about breakfast, then tried to plan what dinner might need to be and what needed to defrost.  Then it was lunch time already and after I got everything cleaned up from that, it was time to start on dinner.  What the.....?!  I tried hard to appeal to my whole family on the pleasure they would take in every single meal and snack.  I would be heartbroken if they didn't like it.  I would be heartbroken when they did like it, but didn't reaffirm it with accolades for all my hard work I put into preparing, shopping, cleaning up after it, etc, etc, etc.  This led me right to the fridge for some comfort for myself and to the idea that deserts would pretty much make up for whatever was lacking in the dinner.  They usually forgot about what the dinner tasted like if I had a bowl of ice cream waiting for them.  Don't misunderstand me here, I can cook.  Ask my friends and my mother.  I am a damn good cook, if I might say so myself.  But, I was miserable.  My unusual obsession with fear of rejection had made it all the way to my dinner table with the people I trusted to love me more than anything!  Except food, so I thought.  I was associating being a nurturing mother with providing them emotionally stable foods, not necessarily nutritious food.  Thus, the cycle will continue with my children when they grow and leave the house, unless we break up with our food.

Since becoming a vegan a few months ago, I have had some revelations in myself that I have been able to overcome and now see in a whole new light.  It is not my intention in this post to convince anyone to become vegan, although it is an amazing lifestyle change.  No matter how you eat, carnivorous or veganism or vegetarian or pescatarian, whatever, do you eat that way emotionally?  It is, however, my intention to shed light on what kind of emphasis food plays in the life of those who have found themselves here to my blog.  Food, sent to this Earth by the Almighty Father himself, is for your nutrition.  Nutrition that gives you energy to do what God has planned for you in this life.  It's fuel for your muscles and bones and organs.  We've perverted our view of food into this elaborate production and presentation on our own dining room tables to the millions of tables around this world in restaurants.  It, food, takes up more of our time directly and indirectly!!  Think about it.  Do you plan your day around your meals?  What you'll fix or where you'll go?  What about vacations?  I mean really, why is there an ice cream place that sells a gold encrusted ice cream sundae for over $1000?  That feeds a whole different emotion for me.... anger.  Do you know how much nutrition that could provide for a family in need?  Crazy.

It's time.  It's time to have a sit down conversation with your Fridgedaire and it's contents and that of your pantry.  It's time to renegotiate your contract with food in your life, a sort of menu prenup of sorts.  Food is not meant to provide an emotional experience for me.  And when I abuse that, it makes my butt bigger and that makes me emotional and then I turn to the one things that started it in the first place.  Stop making love to your food.  Stop asking it out.  Stop letting it let you down constantly and making you feel tired, mad, bloated, etc.  God intended our bodies for use in his kingdom not the healthcare kingdom or the local gym kingdom.  When I realized that my work for Him suffered because of my unhealthy cravings for my relationship with my lunch, I decided enough was enough.  

Seriously, look at how you cook, prepare and entice your family and yourself to the table.  How about food for purpose not for pleasure?  When God sent the Israelites into the desert, He fed them.  Not something that brought them pleasure, but nutrition so that they wouldn't starve to death.  He loved them.  He loves you and finds you worthy of so much more.  The things that are in your food, if you buy processed, would shock the hell out of you if you knew how it affected your brain and thought processes.  How some are intended to depress you so that you will eat other things that will lift you up, making a vicious cycle.  How there are ingredients that are addictive, making you want for more.  Just like nicotine, baby.  That's a post for another day.

Matthew 6:25
For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? "Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to to his life?