Treadmills and pork rinds

I have learned the game at the YMCA or the Y as they like to be called now.  Jesus is apparently too offensive for their marketing practices.  Anyway, I do believe without a doubt that I am treadmill challenged.  The treadmill use to be my main source of exercise a few years ago at 5 in the morning and we got along fine then.  Now, its after me.  I always feel a little odd about so many of us in one area all running like gerbils in a wheel, but the treadmill takes it to a whole new level.  When I arrive at the treadmill we have a silent conversation between souls.  I say, "do me right and help me to run 5 miles and burn a bagillion calories today, sir."  He just stares back at me as if to say, "just get on and let's see where the conveyor belt lead us, shall we?"    He has no sense of humor.  My quick start has started and up goes the arrow button to kick me into a faster pace.  I had never tried to actually run on the treadmill until the other day.  I had always been so fearful of its power to launch me into the cycles behind me in some awkward spread eagle pose and totally throw Barbie off her pedaling strides.  Wouldn't want that now would we?  But this day was a new day.  One of adventure.  One of risks to be taken.  I had walked really, really fast last time while chatting it up with Liz and had not realized that I had ripped something off my hip bone until later.  My hip hurt so badly that day I thought I would have to go to rehab to learn to walk again, much less run.  With ice packs doned daily I got my nerve back up to tame the horrible beast and this time I would run!  Throwing caution to the wind I bumped him up to 4.6, yee ha, I was running on the treadmill.  I happened to glance next to me at the gazelle's treadmill and she was pushing 6.8 and you couldn't even hear her run.  How does she do it?  I sounded like a stampede of horses running through the room and the treadmill was shaking like my washer does when the load is off balance.  I kid you not, I think that machine shuffled a few inches to the right!  How does everyone else run and the dang thing not move?  I was embarrassed but I stayed the course, for one thing I was scared to death to slow down for fear of being thrown off.  Then this teeny tiny little whisp of a thing climbed on the one to my left and pumped up her speed and got to going.  I had to say a "thank you Jesus" cause she sounded like she had lead feet and I didn't feel so bad about my mobile treadmill anymore.  I will tame that awful beast one day!  I will prevail!  The best part of the YMCA is the sauna.  It lures me into the front doors knowing that just a short time later I can bask in the heat and pretend like a cabana boy is going to bring my drink shortly.  Ah, the joys of exercise...... Now, to ice my hip!

Totally off topic:
After my run OUTSIDE tonight, freezing my buns off, I had to make a trip to the grocery store.  Why do pork rinds get a middle of the floor display and gigantic signage?  And why does the cashier not know the identity of my acorn squash?  Then the navel oranges were in question... tsk, tsk, tsk...sad days at the local supermarket......