Me and the Kitchen

This is what I

woke up to: "In the

same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.

We do not know

what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words

cannot express."

Romans 8:26

Groaning was my prayer today and the Spirit was gonna have to speak for me, because my mother always said, "if you can't say anything nice.....". I was trying to remain faithful. I wanted my heart to change. I pleaded for that with the Almighty.

One thing ALWAYS leads to another in my home when it comes to cleaning, organizing, etc. I just wanted to know what food items I had hiding in the very caverns of my cabinets. The food budget was a bit low, actually at the nil mark. So we were gonna be eating whatever we had. Saffron rice with pancakes? Oooo, how 'bout lima beans and frozen potatoes. Or, I know, leftover taco meat with mac'n cheese. When I moved in I had lots of help putting things away where "they" thought they should go. Each item according to the individual helper. I loved having the help! But then, I just couldn't find anything. Which apparently was ok because I have never changed it around to suit me or common sense really.

So, I started dragging out things from everywhere to see what was still good. Tossing what was grossly expired, except my steel cut oats. I'll chance it. Well, this, of course led to actually vacuuming and wiping out of shelves and moving them up and down and then suddenly more room was available. Which lent itself to more organizing, cleaning, etc, etc, etc, (say that like Uhl Brenner). Anyway, four hours later, I sat back admiring my work and feeling quite accomplished....

Cabinets done, top and bottom. Under the stove, even. Top of fridge (not under).

I had started this process out of need for provision for the hungry bellies that would soon come to call and I got so much more out of it. In placing each item in its new place, some tighter than before. Knowing I would have to put them back exactly as they were before in order to fit, brought to mind a teachable moment for myself. I must be in the exact spot God wants me to be in my stillness and unused times. Thus, preparing myself for when I can be used again for His plan and His will. I must also be in the spot that was designed for me to be in. If not, then when I am needed noone will be able to locate where I might be. Sometimes not even me.

I am trying out this whole obedience stuff and am learning along the way to just do and shut up about it. Just do the little stuff so that God can work with me on when and where He may ask me to go next.

So this is how it ended:

Exodus 14:14 The LORD will fight for you while you keep silent."

In other words, "I got it girl, shut your mouth."

He does. He provided for me in a way today that I will never forget, well, at least I hope not. My heart is lighter. My heart is warmer. My heart....well, it's changed.

Thank you Heavenly Father for your EVERY provision in my life. For your patience with me. For your gentle nudging when I deserve a shove. For your wonder working powers to remind me that no human is in control. It can be only you. I love you and your love for little 'ol me. I definitely feel blessed and completely taken care of. Thank you.

P.S. I found dinner in there. Omelettes and hashbrowns and fruit and applesauce. And Breakfast! Muffins, abound! I love provision.

Spring Fever

Cold and rain go away, bring the sun and warm my way!

Phase one.

Phase Two. Garden is growing.

In full bloom.

She's so beautiful.

God is good.

!!!!!!?

The exclamation point. What an awesome piece of our grammar inventory. It's universal. It can be used in excitement, sadness, anger, joy, praise and so much more. It's a period with a cool stripey thing on top. It can create wrath when used with words that seem calm with a mere period. It can create elation when coupled with otherwise unseemingly dull verbage.

Example:

What do you want for dinner? (Easy, simple, to the point, innocent)

What do you want for dinner, (unfinished, confusing, uneasy pause)

What do you want for dinner! (wow, bad day, don't want to make dinner apparently)

I'm trying to be choosey about my grammatical endings as of late. I seem to be using commas where periods are best. I throw in an occasional semi-colon when I could just use a comma. But my overuse of this particular punctuation mark is the one that gets me in the most trouble.

I'm looked upon as mad, when in reality, its passion. I pull off being joyous and overjoyed when its so not that way, I just don't wanna get into it. And sometimes I'm just completely inaudible from the chaos that surrounds me, so I'm just making sure you heard me.

I must choose carefully how I emphasize. Where I should stop, pause or just let 'er rip.

Matthew 5:37

Simply let your "yes" be "yes" and your "no" be "no". Anything beyond this point comes from the evil one.

Thanks God. Thanks for the wonder in words. Thanks for the meaning in life. Thanks for the ? the ! and the , I love ya! Let me successfully implement Matthew 5:37 into my colorful vocab. You're worthy of such joyful praise. YOU are my exclamation!

Survey says....

I homeschool. I can't say its my all time favorite achievement in life. It's hard. When I look back on it later, it will be worth every worry and tear. I rank it right up there with the proverbial poking of eye with a sharp stick. Most of the time I'm struggling to get by and not worry about my kids brain activity. But then life gives me these little reminders of why I do what I do.

In a recent survey of kids, they were asked what they wanted more than anything.......over 25% of them said money. Not just money to blow, but specifically money so that their parents could stay home more and spend more time with them.

I know, I know, you're wondering what this has to do with homeschool. It's a learned behavior really. We, and I am one of those until recently, have played the social card for so long that we don't know how to interact with our children and frankly some, don't want to. Birth. School. College. Job. Marriage. Children. Promotion. House. Overworked. Underpaid. Laid-off. Work two jobs.

We have walked into the path of "distorted normalcy" in this country for so long thinking that things have to be like this. We don't even question it anymore. It does not and we need to stop the madness.

My son broke up with his girlfriend a couple of weeks ago. I was worried, because I wanted to know how he did that and what he said and was he sympathetic to her feelings and etc. Not because I'm a nosey person, but because I want to know how my boys treat the ladies in their life at ever stage. It could be a great teaching moment for me or his dad to shore up what is acceptable behavior for a young man.

Just in the same manner, I want to know what my kids think about kids, preferably my grandkids, and if they'll have some one day and what that will be like. I want them to know that minimum wage in a small home with lots of time to go to the park and toss the pigskin is success! That having and making time for their kids and their spouses will be the most memorable times of their lives. That it will bring more joy to their life than a big mortgage or a big car or that "perfect" job. So many are having to be away from their families so much these days just to make a living in the most menial of things, like food, dang kids like to eat! Those situations can't be helped. But coming home and recognizing that your kids need you when you can be there and doing what you must in order to take the stress off.

Let's pray hard for those children who don't grow up with their parents around that they will change the way society has influenced our lives thus far. Taking a stand and demanding time with their children and starting a tradition we can hand down from generation to generation.

We try hard in this household to squeeze our children as much as possible as often as possible. This means our economic situation must become creative as possible. I'm good with that. Now to figure out how my kids can do it the next generation without financial belt tightening........

God thank you for your daily provision in my life. Thank you for family and friends who love me and my family. Thank you for guiding us through this crazy thing called life. Thanks!

Immersed

As Adam prepared for his departure these last few weeks I tried not to let my emotions get the best of me. I know how excited he is to get out and try this thing called life. I cry often, it usually doesn't take much to get the waterworks to flow. I have been unusually dry eyed through this process. But the night before he left, I cried off and on most of the night through moments of "don't forgets" and "remember whens", which didn't leave much room for sleep.

Since becoming a mother to this clan that God has gifted to David and I , I have been totally immersed in their lives and them in mine. Not necessarily obsessively but by choice and habit and, well, parenthood. So being completely surrounded by the "life of Adam" and trying to reconcile being in a season of drought in this area makes me wonder how this will play out from this moment on. As a mother, I know that I will always be his mom and he will always be my son, by definition and, of course, the state of North Carolina's County clerk's office. I liked the environment of Adam. He was like walking through a 24/7 amusement park! Laughs and cries and stand-up comedy and music and sights and sounds of what ingredients made up his recipe for that day. I'm sure I will visit that park again, but the attractions will probably be more mature and have more of him and less of my influences. I am looking forward to reading the marquee. I will patiently wait and watch as he turns this life of his into something he chooses. I will, of course, be open to sharing any advice he might want to hear, if asked.....

I told Adam to not do certain things and all of those other motherly things boys of that age don't really see as important discussions to have with their mothers. But I also told him to look for those opportunities in life that will bring him closer to that plan that God has for him. Be young, have fun. Always, always remember that we love you and we will always be here for you and you are welcome back any time you want to come home forever or just for a visit.

I wonder if the Heavenly Father feels the same way about us when we pack up our belongings into our heart and move miles apart from His presence. We feel a sense of freedom when we choose our own steps for the day, but when we find ourselves lost and alone and longing for homemade chicken soup for the soul, we come running back into his open arms. Arms that are willing to embrace us in all of our faults. Arms that protect us, sometimes from ourselves. Arms that raise us high. Arms that hold us down or back when we need it. Arms that beckon us home or wave us good-bye. Arms so full of love. But then we learn to live with Him there in our hearts everyday, leaning on Him for guidance and running to Him with praises and joys and thankfulness. Hitting our knees and asking for help, knowing we can always ask..... I thank God for the wonderful example of parenting that He has laid out there for us to follow.

Ephesians 5:1-2

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Hot Chocolate? Really?

If this was you, please stop. If this might be you, please don't. If you have done this before, please cease from ever doing it again.

Believe me, your children will thank you.

I realize every once in a blue moon that there is so much blog material out there in the real world that it does require one to leave their house in order to soak it all in.

Target was the target. Groceries, prescription and of course, a little Starbucks to keep us warm on the way to the car.

While paying for my "Christmas in a cup", a mom and three kids started a line behind me. They would've gone completely unnoticed had it not been for the sweet cherub about 6 years of age growling at his much older tween sister and constantly hitting her, which led to her groaning, "Mo-om. Make him stop!" I decided not to turn around, don't look, it's not your child. I decided to let mom go ahead and give him the evil death stare that is capable of ending conflicts in the middle east. As my daughter and I moved to the "pick up" area of the counter, it became clear that mom was not interested in getting involved either. I really did feel for her. He seemed a little bit like a strong willed child and maybe this cup o' joe was a way of medicating herself to deal with things. Starbucks can do miracles, if you get the right barista. Little Johhny was, at this point, taking a run at his sister's backside with his forearm and smacking her so hard she was about to cry. I really couldn't help but watch now out of pure amazement that he was getting away with it. I also caught his eye and gave him the "are you kidding me" look which sent his eyes south and he sat on the floor. The other sister was younger and taking cover behind her older sister. Mom must really be fried! I was curious what her miracle concoction for herself would consist of...decaf? nonfat? sugar-free? maybe all the way with caff, double pump of caramel and raspberry with extra whip AND sprinkles? She deserved it in my book. Go mom! As I tried to remain inconspicuous during my eavesdropping out poured those words, "Three Hot Chocolates please." At first, I just thought why would you need three? Why not just get a Venti? Why have to carry.....Oh, no you didn't? Did you just order three hot chocolates for your children? Did you just turn to your son and politely tell him after he beat his sister that his is almost ready? Darlin', darlin', darlin'.

What to do? What to say? Nothing. That's right, nada. It's not my place, not my child, not my business to discern which parenting styles are good for other parents.

BUT...

Please don't buy your children hot chocolate when they exhibit obviously bad behavior. Just don't. It only reaffirms to them that you approve of the behavior so much that it deserves hot chocolate. Just once or twice refraining from such prizes will change that behavior. I know it will. Believe me, I know.

I pray for this mom. I pray for her and those like her that are at their wits end. I pray for these children. I pray that God will intervene and bring harmony and balance to their lives. Prayers. God bless this mom. Bless her beyond her wildest dreams that she will know its only you who could have blessed her.

Thank you notes

So.....I love blogging...no really I do! Even though you can't tell from my very sporadic posts lately. I have come to realize that when I am wrestling with my thoughts as to what posts next, I find respite and wonder in others blogs that I read. I hope you will enjoy those I love.

For Mormonhermitmom a blessing of true reality in my everyday life. Her words of life in her real life, the one where she feels, cries, screams, gets puked on, pooped on, etc. is a breath of fresh air for me. Knowing that there is a sister out there who shares the same joys and pains through the hope of our heavenly Father. Love it!

To Elizabeth whose writings keep me thoughtful and ROTFLMAO a lot of the time too. One of my bestest friends! We share the JOY of homeschooling our children and running to each other for comforting words when we think we've seriously screwed them up. She is an inspiration in my life. She has learned so quickly what it has taken me 40 years to realize. I love ya!

To Wendy with whom I'm sure knows nothing of my obsession of her blog. She will never understand the immense appreciation I have of her following her heart to write as honestly and gracefully as she does with God on her side and in her veins. I had been dealing with a very difficult situation in my life and found her blog that spoke to me in such a direct way that I felt for sure it was divine intervention. Thank you Wendy for doing the work God has asked of you faithfully. God bless your days!

To Alicia. Wow girl, I just love ya. I knew of you through your sweet mother, my friend, but I grew to love you through your sweet self and now through your life journey on this blog. You are such an inspiration to me. Your dedication as a wife and mother is deserving of sainthood sista! I know you are shaking your head "no" because Riss is screaming and you are pulling your hair out and haven't showered in two days, but it's true because of that. Because you follow God's plan and you truly represent your life in a real fashion that people can relate to on a very intimate level. Thanks girl for what you do! I love ya!

Thanks to Modobject at Home for your inspirational words of scripture every Sunday, coupled with a photograph that takes my breath away. I mean, really, she makes a basket of laundry look like art people! Your blog is like smelling a fresh cup of coffee. It awakens my soul for the day and enlightens me as to what is truly beautiful! Thanks!

To my sis in law Jules who makes living so much easier with this helpful blog of hers. She is and has always been an inspiration to me throughout my life. I know I have a weird and twisted way of showing it. I love you and God bless!

For cjane and nie, this is just to say thanks for what you have done for all who read your unique stories. Although weaved together by the grace and mercy of God as sisters, your lives of truth and independence and strength have inspired so many for such different reasons. Nie the beauty of you leaps from the pages of your blog and melts over my heart making me look at my life in a much softer way. Cjane, I want to sing with you. I do, just karaoke style from my computer desk! Your life, your love, your sacrifice, your glory to your God for it all is something this world needs tatooed on their....well, I just love it. That's all.

No, really, that's all. Thanks so much for putting fingers to keys girls and making my life a deeper shade of orange! Love to you all! I hope if you are just visiting that you will travel over to the countries that I have mentioned and in your travels find the best tasting entrees you'll ever read! Don't forget your swimsuits and your tissues and your comfy pjs. All of these are needed during your stay.

May God bless those readers, those bloggers, those ......... bless each and every step they take, key they press and day they wake to see. Heavenly Father you are the maker of our lives and mover of our feet and the lover of our souls. We praise your name!

If you'd like to pass along this little token of appreciation, here are the guidelines:
1) Add the logo of the award to your blog.
2) Add a link to the person who awarded it to you (as shown above).
3) Nominate at least seven other blogs.
4) Add links to those blogs on your blog.
5) Leave a message for your nominees on their blogs.

20 years ago (posted late)

My life changed forever on December 21, 1989. Why? I became a mom. My life before that was full of, well, me and everything that pertained to making me happy. I was consumed by me. That came to an end on December 21, 1989. Not as a sad moment, but as one of the most wonderful events to ever bless my life.

There he was, fat and happy and the most beautiful lump of baby cheeks you could ever imagine! The sweetest fuzzy hair and big eyes and rolls of baby chubbiness expanding from his knees and elbows. He was here. Mr. Adam Nicholas Price made his entrance into the world and my life forever changed that day.

I was leaning pretty hard on the grace of God at this point, but once I became a mother the presence of the Almighty was something I depended on every second of every day from then on. You think you got it all handled at the age of 21, then life takes over and God's plan is revealed and you look with humbleness to the heavens and say, "Really, you think I can do this? Ok. Here goes." And with faithfulness and the mercy and grace God bestows on us when we don't deserve it, we do it.

I'm a mom. A mother. A somebody's mommy. Wow. Never in my life did I ever think I deserved a gift such as this. Adam was our first born. He broke us in. We did all of our parenting firsts with him. He did so well teaching us all we needed to know. And he was so patient about it too. God must've counseled him so well beforehand. We just kinda looked at each other and shrug our shoulders and hung on for dear life. Hoping we weren't gonna screw it up and leaning on God the entire way through. And we still do.

Adam is leaving. Yep, my baby is flying from the nest. While most birds fly where it's warmer, he is flying west where the cold wind blows through the ridges of the continental divide in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. He misses it there. He remembers how the cold winter weather warms your heart and fills you with a feeling of home. I will miss him so very dearly. I am ready for him to try out his wings, to make it his life and not mine. I know he will be fine. I know he will make excellent decisions. I know that God speaks to him on a regular basis. Let's hope that his ears are ready to listen, 'cause now my baby will do the leaning on the Heavenly Father for his life, while mom is at home hoping they are communicating on a regular basis.

Dear Father, be with my child, my son, my first born. Talk to him often, even when you know he isn't listening. Be with him every step of the way, even when it's steep and treacherous. I love you God and thank you for letting me be the one you loaned him to for this time. Thanks! Amen!

To Make a Difference

How to live? How to love? How NOT to scar your children for life? All great questions for someone wanting to better themselves in some way for the new year, right? Life has a way of getting in the way. No, I don't mean plans and schemes and such, but just living. Getting up, involuntary thoughts on breakfast, laundry, dishes, floors, kids, hubby, etc. Getting things done one by one without thought as to when to set up my daily chat with my heavenly Father..... The one that should be done every day BEFORE I move, walk, clean, mother, wife and etc. I have always found it difficult to take care of myself, for fear of being too selfish, too self-centered. But in not paying attention to my daily walk with Christ I have become selfish and too self-centered. Ironic, huh? I have in some ways been afraid of what He will ask of me to do. Will it be difficult? Will my heart break? What about.....What opportunities are awaiting me now? Wow, how you have provided for me in my weakness, I can't imagine what it will be like this time....Let's go! I have been practicing the old "Hold your tongue" routine, which makes my fingers slimy, but makes my heart ready for His plan for me. I want to glorify what He has for me. I want His plan to be the path I choose. I want the light to shine from me outwardly so that everyone knows that God rocks my world! So I aim to show the world more of His love through my life. How I have been blessed! I could never do it justice in words....know that I believe in a love everlasting and a life eternal! God bless your new year.