Ok, so the women's retreat....

I have been putting off what to say here because I just don't think I can do it much justice. The third annual Women of Worship Beach Retreat took place at Ocean Isle Beach, NC on October 22-25, 2009. You may have felt the earth move that weekend and wondered what in the world was going on and I wanted you to wonder no longer.

Close to 40 women traveled from Ohio, Virginia, and various cities in North Carolina to participate in a Christian women's retreat. Noone argued, fought, pulled hair, made cat hissing noises or any of the like. The Holy Spirit dropped by for the weekend and surrounded us with an amazing glory unknown to any of us previous to this trip. A blessed time for us all.

Learning to live without the veils we tend to decorate ourselves with hiding our real selves from the outside world but also hiding God's glory living within each one of us that others can't see because of our veils. Learning to shed the cocoon and spread our wings like the beautiful butterflies we all are. Made in God's image, reflecting Christ's glory.

I am working through some things about myself that I have learned on this trip. Things I have known about me, but didn't really want to deal with fixing or praying for God to help fix. My fellow attendees on this trip were from 7 different churches and different denominations. Some were rather radical in their worship, some more subdued, some in the middle, and nobody cared that we were all in different places in our journeys and our worship styles. How wonderful.

God has such a way of gently bringing us into the throne room for a little chat. I have been pretty confident up to this point about my journey and the path that I am on. I found myself double checking myself and my relationship with the man upstairs during the weekend. I thought we were pretty close. As a matter of fact, I thought we were pretty tight. I have come to the realization that I have a lot to work on. I can no longer go through my days "pretending" that I am a Christian. Putting on my Christian face with the Christian makeup and the Christian clothes and living my Christian life without really living it to its fullest. I have so many doubts and questions. I, however, know that the answer is simple and the plan is easy to follow. It's the action of pursuing the activity that brings the answer into a clearer light for me. I'm a lazy follower. I want him to know what my "hallelujah" sounds like. What it looks like from me. Although the fact that I question what that will look like, feel like and sound like just makes it very clear on what an adolescent I am in my walk with Christ.

I am questioning my spirit, which is good and healthy for me. It's the most mature thing I've done in awhile to actually take part in my OWN journey. I am not looking forward to the things that God is going to work through in my life and what they may do to those around me. I don't believe it will feel very good in the midst but I know that I will ultimately be closer to my God that loves me no matter what.

None of us are here by chance. We all have a purpose one to the other. Our lives, past and present are to be lived to the glory of God and to be witnessed to others so that they see the hope and future that Christ has for each of us. I'm scared. I'm worried. I cry thinking about it, because I hate heartbreak and pain even when I know it will mean growth and salvation for someone.

Dear Heavenly Father, take it easy on me........please, just this once and I swear I'll live exactly as I should every day.......lol!

The beach was a magical time for me. Although questions remain in my own walk I would do it again right now. As a matter of fact, I am ready for next year! Bring on the sand! I am not done talking about this trip. Beware of more to come! LOL!

HALLELUJAH!