I love you, now put 'em up!

Confrontation.  Ew.  The sound of the word in my mouth usually brings up phlegm like I'm speaking German, the very angry sounding German and it's stuck in my throat.  It's not the word's fault.  It's just a simple little English word that means: The act of confronting or the state of being confronted, especially a meeting face to face.  Lame-O definition.  I like this one better:  A conflict involving armed forces.  Yes, a battle.  One to the death!  Aha! En Garde!  Because, really, that's what we think of when we utter the word.  I have always hated it.  The act of confronting, not the word itself.  I have used it for an excuse a time or two(thousand) in why I did not want to be involved in certain things.  "I don't do confrontation."  Like, I don't do white after labor day or something....  w/e.  

I've learned that the reason I like the definition that I picked was that it means something different to me now than it used to 6 hours ago.  A conflict involving armed forces came to mean to me, those who have come to the fight prepared.  Two parties, entities, armies, people that took the time out of their daily lives to sit and pray about it, study what it means, where they may have gone wrong on THEIR part and laid it out before the great God above to crawl into their hearts and mold them BEFORE they enter the ring.  Armed with the love of our heavenly Father and dressed in the Holy Spirit's anointing.  A conflict involving those who have armed themselves appropriately and have come prepared.  I experienced that tonight.  I lived through it, or should I say that my heart lived through it.  I, humanly, knew that I was going to be broken, melted in puddle in the floor, tossed aside like leftovers....I was sure of it.  But then I knew that only God could come in and intercede on both of our parts.  I knew she loved Him as much as I do.  I knew that prayers and devotionals were spent in focus with the Word of God to guide our steps.  I would have expected nothing less of her.  Dear God!  I love her!  That's why we're here.

What I didn't expect to learn was that I actually like this confrontation.  Confrontation within the Spirit.  The one where I come prepared.  Not in the usual way of "ok, I've gone over this in my head a million times and every time someone comes up with a wedgie and their bra strap around their neck!"  No, not at all.  It was littered with God and Christ and the Spirit and silent prayers going up between words of "dear Lord, please speak and keep me silent.  Dear Lord, don't let me get defensive and screw this up."  We both came to show the Glory of God as He exists in our universe.  But we both came prepared.

It will be a season of restoration and healing for us, something I wasn't sure would come to pass.  I still have a long way to go, but I didn't muck it up tonight.  I know, for sure, that you cannot have a growing Godly relationships in this crazy world if you're not willing to be confrontational.  It almost made me want to tick off my other friends just so we could confront one another and start on the growth to the next level of our friendships.  Kidding.  But, really, if you are reading this and you have the need to confront me, please give me ample time of prayer and consideration to come prepared, but be assured that I'm not afraid of it any longer.  I want to be a better me.  I want to stop being unapproachable by some.  I want to live a life set apart and love like Jesus called me to love.  I want to grow with you.  Yea, you, too.  I want to be a better friend and by shirking my duties of being a friend, a real one, a true one, I fear that I have left no room for growth.  No more.  I am open to growth, even if it involves some pruning.  I am a work in progress.

I'm taking the Boy Scout approach and using the "come prepared" motto or way of life or whatever they use it for to get my Confrontation Patch.  The ceremony will be years from now, I'm sure, but I'm on the road to recovery.

2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness

One of my favorite songs says this:

"Break my heart for what breaks yours"

Beautiful lyrics and God will hold up that mirror when you ask Him to invade your spirit in that manner, but take it easy, let it go, let it happen in you.  God will not desert you in times where you have set yourself within His guide.  He will never foresake you.  NEVER.