Dear.....

Dear Dudes With Your Hiney Showing,
I hate to tell you this, but its not attractive seeing your brand of underwear hanging out of the top of your pants.  And its not just the waistband anymore these days, its the whole, full moon.  Who ever told you that was a great idea is probably the one who also puts the "kick me" sign on the back of people just for fun and shouldn't be trusted.  Really, your bum?  For all to see?  Look, if I want to see anyone's bum it will be my hubby's or maybe, say, the dude from Criminal Minds.....anyway, pull up your pants, my daughter doesn't need to see that.

Dear Sexy Little Tart,
Where are you?  What the heck are you doing?  Working?  Ha!  I know better.  Get your butt on FB or Blogger so I don't have to wonder if you've fallen into a vat of toxic waste at work and noone is helping you out!  If, however, you've sold your cell phone and computer in order to fund your European vaca, then I'm ok and will get the scoop from your sister!  Love ya darlin'!

Dear Saucy Redheaded Minx,
Yea, you know who you are!  Listen, missy, its not nice to tease people with a new blog and then not write anything there!  I'm sure that you must have writer's block because we haven't been hanging out in order for you to have some good material to write about.........humor me.  Also, just a note to say, "I love ya!"

Dear Man Who Stole My Heart 21 years ago,
Dude, have you seen yourself in the mirror lately?  Holy Moley, how do I keep my hands off of you for any length of time is bewildering, really.  I need a date.  I need a me and you date.  Hello?  Are you listening?  Take me away from this barren place, to somewhere not so stinkin' hot and miserable, like......... Alaska!  Come on, baby, let's go!

Dear Couple of Moron's Who Continue to Diss My Son,
Are you serious?  He's the smart one here.  Just because you don't have a clue of how to manipulate others into doing what you want them to, does not give you permission to try to tear my son down.  Them's fightin' words, and you're lucky that I'm too lazy to actually follow through with the fight.  Although, keep it up and I may have to pray for you!

Dear God,
Forgive me for my overall crappy attitude the last, say, oh, IDK, 3 years.....  I have come to know you in such a personal way recently and don't ever want to know myself pulling a different direction again.  I thank you for your Word that is so alive in my heart every time I read it.  I thank you for your Son that you knew had to sacrifice in order for me to pay attention to who you are.  I know that you're relational with ME, with ME, with ME.  You know MY name.  You know MY heart.  I love you!  BTW, the pants on the ground thing down here is getting out of hand, could you fix that?  Thanks.  Me.

(stomping) I want to, I want to, I want to!! (more stomping)

I want:

to go here.

AND

get a flamingo keychain.

AND

buy my daughter a frivolous souvenir like a palm tree, frog sandglobe!

AND

get a cheesy Elvis beach towel!

Because it would mean I would be close to here:

And I want to be there, right now!

Calgon, take me away!!!!!

Parched and Quenched

As I am trying to make the most of my time this summer getting ready for the next homeschool year, I find myself inspired by music. Music permeates our lives daily in the Price house. But, my musicians are off doing their own thing this week and its been quiet. So I just turn up my Pandora or my KLOVE and blast it through the last layer of paint on the walls! I would love to have the windows up and go for it, but it's over 100 degrees outside and I just can't do it.

I love this song. I love it because of it's lyrics, but most of all I love it because Lincoln Brewster's son recites scripture at the end and it makes me tear up every time! It reminds me of why I homeschool.

I want my children to know God. I want them to live with God. I want them to be with God each and every day of their lives with limited distractions and influences from worldly things. Not shut up in the house and never going out, but building that foundation and that confidence in their knowledge of God and who he is and how he is with you when you are in the world around you. How to observe those things daily that God puts before us that may be taken for granted outside of a life of knowing Him.

Psalm 19: 1-2: "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge." He is always in front of us if we choose to see. When they are in situations in this world, I want their eyes to be wide open, not shut to the world and the things in it. I know it happens in their lives already.

My 15 yo son went on a mission trip in Chicago this summer and helped out in a vacation bible school put on by the Y in the inner city. He came home and a few weeks later was involved in helping out at a local church with their vacation bible school program. He came home one day and said, "Mom, after working with those kids in Chicago, I've realized how spoiled these kids are here." Now, not spoiled in a bad way, mind you. Just in the way that there is so much here and there is not in the inner city of Chicago for those kids. He had an "aha" moment. My soul drank up the goodness of his heart growing at that moment in time.

I was quenched with the knowledge that God was at work on the inside of my child. You see, if you are to raise a child of God you have to release them into the dangers of the world in a way that they can then be molded into the men and women God has already formed in their hearts. We have to trust the God in heaven above who has trusted us with the precious souls of our children. Every day there is a teaching moment for your kids whether you homeschool in the homeschooling definition or whether your kids go to school outside your home. We, as Christians, are ALL homeschooling our kids when it comes to the values and teachings of the Word of God to our children.

So, my prayer is this today, that God blesses you in a way that makes you totally aware of how important you are as His child in this crazy world we live in. That somewhere in your life today, your eyes need to be open to the blessings within the icky, dirty mess of the day. Even if its just as simple as an extra smile given to you. I pray that through your blessings that you see in the world that those other children around you, young and old, will take note of God within the world and want to reach out and get some o' that. I pray that if you have children or are in charge of their care for any part of your day that God will reveal to you the places to plant the seeds so that the beautiful ones that they are will shine brighter when they aren't with you. May God be with you today in all you do! Now, go get dirty in the world today and watch Him wash you white as snow!!!

What ever makes your dress fly up!

South

• 93 y.o. saved from river WXII
• Woman hits 40 yrs in fast food KDAF
• Boy lost finger on boat WAFB
• Man operates on self WXII
• Bees attack, kill two dogs WSMV
• Human chain saves woman WWBT
• Tanker spills 2K gallons of gas

I love living in the South! 

 I mean really!  

Who needs tv?  

No wonder our porches are so big 'round here!  

These above bullet points were from CNN's actual news site.  

Gotta love it here!

Zombie me

I have made myself physically ill.  I really need to stop letting my stress get the best of my stomach!  I don't want to do this, I don't want to be there, because I think I might open my mouth and actually say what I think and right now I'm still not there.  Why do I do this?  Why do I say "yes"?  Pray for me, pray for my mouth.  Pray that I won't puke.  I'd be perfectly content in my life if I didn't have to deal with people.  Or they didn't have to chance dealing with me.  

.................excuse me, gotta make a run for it.

ok, I'm back, only to say, I'm outta here.

God, you better be there!  

Dear Furry Misfit

I see you mocking me!  I watch from my bathroom window and see your beady little eyes staring up at me and thumbing your pink little nose my way! 

 I've talked to your parents about you, but obviously they are not into the "hands-on" parenting that I dish out.  I think that letting you find your individualism in my garden is outright rude!  Parents these days!  Can't you watch your little heathens for even a minute?  Can't you see while your talking with your other little furry friends from the forest that they are reeking havoc on my tomatoes and green beans?  When are you going to get a clue?  When the authorities pick him up for doing the "bunny hop" at the local pub with some hare from across the tracks?  Paleez! 

Now, today, you've gone too far.  I know what you're up to.  I trained my cat to chase off your little furry butt, only to find out that you've trained the cat bird to chase off my cat in the middle of the "peter rabbit throw down"!  I saw your feathered assassin dive bombing my sweet kitty!  I'm done with you and your satanic cottontail.  I have advised the neighbors to shoot when they get a clear shot.  I don't care if we take out every windshield in the neighborhood tagging your behind!  You are no longer welcome.  Consider this your eviction notice!

In love,

Angry gardenowner

Randomness

Songs to be sung at my funeral:

(No, I'm not dying anytime soon, to my knowledge)

Because Bobby McFerrin is the stuff!

Because this is how I want to be remembered!

Ironic Truths and Oxymorons

1.  Common sense is not so common anymore.

2.  Lowfat sugar free dairy free gluten free Chocolate Cream Pie.

3.  Tolerance only means you tolerate the intolerant, who don't tolerate you.

4.  Public Schools are locked, all of the time, therefore, not open to the public.  Just sayin'.

5.  Teenage wisdom .... only they know they're right.  Shhhh.... don't tell 'em.

6.  Life's little mysteries should remain as such.

7.  Christ died for my sin, yet I keep sinning....what's up with that?

8.  God forgives me when I sin .... Thank God!

9.   When life gives me lemons, I bitch about it, because I don't like lemonade.  Go figure.

10.  Life is NOT a bowl of cherries, but yet a bucket full of crap mostly.  You must learn to make compost in order to make something grow.

11.  Gay, not-so-gay, waiters at that restaurant, you know who you are, are just lying so they can look down your shirt without getting bitch slapped.  He doesn't have the foggiest idea of what jeans you need, girl, he just wants to see your booty!  lol!

12.  I love my love/hate relationship with my life.  Odd.  I know.  I love the people, I hate the dishes and the laundry.

13.  In my suffering, I will find joy, the ultimate joy of my God, my Lord and Savior, who will be with me at all times.  Joy, in my suffering.

Houston, we have a problem....

Parenting.  So some of us became parents by what we thought were mistakes (this is a word that makes God giggle).  Some of us became parents by planning, saving, reading and performing a certain time of the month to be able to produce a child (God still laughing).  Some of us became parents by the aide of a few extra hormones and checking your temperature and calling your hubby to say, "hurry home, dear!"  And some became parents by other means, adoption, ivf, ai and etc.  Regardless of how we got here, there are little people or, maybe by now, big people who rely on us to be good parents.  Now, good parenting is like the definition of love or success or other ambiguous words, it all depends on the person. 

Most of you know that I do not invest in television enhancers like satellite or cable or even a converter box, but when I'm at my sister's house I break down for the occasional Clean House or Criminal Minds or a quick sweep of HLN.  While checking in with what's new on the news, a story came across the air about the barefoot bandit.  If you don't know of his antics, it's quite odd.  He was just caught a few days ago after being on the run for two years since the age of 17.  This all after he "borrowed" and flew a plane by himself, stole a boat and made a few, over 70, uninvited entries to homes and businesses.  What does this have to do with parenting?  Well, in a stroke of genius the producers of CBS thought it would be a plus to the story to interview the Bandit's mom.  When asked about her son, she is quoted as saying:

"When the cops come and bother me that's when I think 'run Colton run, fly Colton fly.' I'm proud that he taught hisself how to fly," she told CBS News. "I just want to hug him," she said. "I'm proud that he can fly planes with no lessons. You're damn right I am."

She has recently signed a book deal and hired an entertainment lawyer.

"If anyone profits from this thing it should be me and Colt," she said.

Um.  Not sure what to say to that.  I guess finding the good in every situation is noteworthy these days.....Houston........................................

What tubal ligation and Satanic practices have in common

Almost 11 years ago, my husband and I, with no counseling or basically no thought to it, decided that we didn't want anymore children.  I honestly don't think we really even talked much about it.  It was more like a conversation on the same intensity of what to buy at the grocery store.  We were so grown up back then....NOT.  We thought we'd take control of that by having the doctor's nip and tuck a little on my fallopian tubes after my daughter was born.  I must say for me it was great the first few months knowing that the percentage of me walking out of my master bedroom (or the kitchen for that matter) and being pregnant was pretty insignificant.   Thank you!  No more babies!  We have 5 and yes, we know what causes that.  Anyway, I really thought it was nothing major doing that to my body.

(Satanic laugh inserted here) Hahahahahahahaha (throwing head back with wild look in my eyes).

WTfrick!  All you ladies out there who have had this done and didn't tell or run yelling and screaming to let me know what this was going to mean should be ashamed of yourselves!  There was nothing really physically wrong with me to warrant me having to not go through another pregnancy, besides my vanity and just plain inconvenience being in question.

Now, in my defense, having had 5 kids in a 10 year period didn't leave much time to PMS much around my hubby and kids.  I only remember that I wasn't very hard to live with altogether during those times.  BUT.....after my "operation" I started noticing changes in my mood.  Of course, like any natural girl going through PMS, you just blame it on everyone else's attitudes and inability to compromise.  But you don't understand really.  I could honestly take down Switzerland with this bad boy every month.  No, really, I know they are a neutral country, but one round of PMS with me while visiting there, they would be a changed place.  I could melt snow off the alps with this attitude.  And all in the name of PMS.  Hey that gets ladies off of the death penalty from what I hear!  When that comes on in my house you can hear the footsteps clamor for the closest dark room where they can't be found by me.  Of course, there is a reasoning for my over dramatizations and it's pretty much someone else's fault and I can prove it.  I can totally validate my point of view and don't even dare to mention that maybe I should rethink this in a few days when this "pms" thing blows over cause then you're going down!

The bad thing is that I can feel it coming.  I can tell when the @#$% is gonna hit the fan and I pretty much can't stop it, plus I just don't care.  I can tear you to pieces and while you lay comatose in your hospital bed a few days later can visit you and bring you flowers and read the comics section of the paper like nothing happened.

Why a few cauterized sections of my innerds would change my behavior is beyond me.  Plus, I just don't care what you think.  Yes, I do, no, I don't, hell, I don't know.  Check back with me in a few days!

A little life remodeling

It's never good for my hubby to leave me alone by physically leaving town for a few days.  When this happens I have way too much time to think to myself which pretty much gets me in trouble.  But it makes for blog content.

So, in the past week, I've decided that those things that I felt I could pretty much hide about myself are actually billboard signs I wear across my derierre.  You know the signs like, "kick me" that people used to put on your back.  You didn't know they were there, but everyone else did and they'd let out that little giggle when you passed by.  You constantly cleaned out your teeth thinking you had broccoli in them, but then you realize you hadn't eaten broccoli or anything good for you in a at least a month.

Well, I'm next for that Extreme Soul Makeover apparently.  Now everyone will know I have a weight problem now that Ms. Abs pointed out at lunch that she and I struggle with our weight.  What?!  Like you can see that?  Damn, I thought I was hiding that in my spanks!  I love you Abs.  And then there's that sexy little tart, J, that gently and oh-so-lovingly told me that I was being worked on by Jesus in the "how to handle relationships" section, too.  What?!  You can see my imperfections?  Dang it all, I thought I was hiding that in my spanks....um, well, no, I mean behind my "I'm fines" and "I'm greats".  You don't know how much I feel like a middle school girl right now.  I'm evil.  I love you J.

Yes, I am looking to the ultimate General Contractor himself to help me out, because NOW its obvious to everyone where I need work.  I could, if I had the money, "get some work done" to take care of those "thunder thighs", an endearing term my sister came up with when we were in high school.  But then, I would still eat like Lindsay Lohan in the dark!  Who am I kidding.  It is a heart issue.  One that needs mending and molding and shaping into a person who really gives a rats behind what her behind looks like.  And I could go out and find people who would agree with my wholeheartedly that I have tried my best to be a friend, but I know deep down that my mother would make me eat an entire bar of soap, because that's a big fat lie.  And besides, it wouldn't call for me to change or for God to work in me.  I don't know how to do relationships well, duh, that's no lie.

Do it now, God.  Rip out the old smelly carpet.  Take down the tacky wallpaper.  Scrape the recesses of my heart to the bare wood and give me a fresh, new coat of paint.  Remember, I like bold colors.  I'm a winter.

My first order of business tonight when I returned home from working all day was to hurry and delete my last post.  I felt as though I may have come across as rude and indignant based on the comments, but I didn't delete it because I AM rude and indignant and God is working on me.  Just so everyone knows, I don't yell at my friends and in all honesty I come across in confrontational conversation as somewhat of a push over.  I hate confrontation.  I never actually got to talk about anything.  All I said was, "I'm disappointed."  And it ended a beautiful season in my life.  Not because of their comment, but because of my disappointment.  And God is working on that with me.

2 Chronicles 7:14 if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

You know they say the biggest test of a marriage is to build or remodel a house together.  This remodeling job is going to be a life long.  Good thing my hubby loves me no matter what.

People pleaser and my selfish desire

Why is it that we humans are fueled in propulsion by our emotions?  This isn't a surprise to us.  It is obvious that we all have them.  The one thing that has been playing in my head recently is truth in emotions.  Not "truth in love" but in emotions.  Are they true?  How can we tell?  When do we act on them or when do we ignore them and wait til they calm down?  But mostly, how do we react to them?  Some set out to say things on purpose to make us feel guilty, sad, mad, depressed, angry.  Some speak truth to us and we decide to be convicted in the truth because we know they love us.  I find it hard for me to feel conviction instead of defensiveness.  That is the very fine line.  I want to listen better.

I harbor a grudge.  I know, you're dumbfounded.  Me?  A grudge?  How could that be possible?  Yea, I see your tongue in your cheek when asking!  My grudge is from unresolved feelings of sadness, betrayal, mistrust, yadda, yadda, yadda.  I had resolved to discussion.  An adult to adult, what I thought was good friend to good friend discussion.  Yea, well, that didn't work.  I was shut down from the start of my conversation with a resounding and quite hurtful comment about not loving them.  I was frankly shocked.  With all that we had been through, all that we had done together, feelings shared, prayers, fervent prayers for each other and our families over years of friendship how could that be the first thing that pops into their head that I don't love them?  We've never spoken about this subject again and it eats away at me every time I think about my friend.  Simply because I miss them.  I miss them more than you can imagine.  I miss the fantasy of the friendship I was having.  I became well aware that the feelings did not go both ways and I'm sad.  I can't really see what I'm typing right now because I'm bawling like a baby.  It still hurts months later.  I see them occasionally but our relationship is based on a very superficial plane.  That's where they need it, I guess.

I'm a pretty real person.  To my own detriment I lay it all out there for the world to see and sometimes the world is cruel.  I don't know about truth in my emotions anymore.  I'm just gonna chalk it up to PMS 365 days a year.  Hey, if its a good argument in court cases then I should be able to ride this wave forever!!!!  

Patsy Clairmont, a speaker with Women of Faith, was giving a small devotion on the radio station I listen to and she was talking on this subject.  How do you know when you're supposed to approach someone about what God is telling you to say? How do you know its God and not your own misguided selfishness?  She said, "If you can't wait to tell that person, then it's probably your own selfish desire to want to speak the truth, but if you have prayed about this and still have that feeling in the pit of your stomach that won't go away then you are most likely getting a urge from God to talk to them."  I know it sounds odd, if it's painful it probably has God behind it!?  Really?  She's right, unfortunately for me.  You see the fear of the pain keeps me from wanting to ever confront this friend, but the pain in my  heart now makes it impossible to keep up this relationship because it hurts to talk to them, or see them without feeling those feelings again.

1 Corinthians 10: 31-33 says, " So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved."

Sometimes "to the glory of God" isn't pretty.  Sometimes my "pleasing everybody" is just downright wrong.  Sometimes seeking my own good keeps me from things too painful.  What now?  Because I don't want to care anymore.  I think I'm too far gone on this one.

Dear God, help me now.  I love my friend.  What now?  Amen.

The art of Embracing

Remember growing up and wrapping your arms and legs around your mom or dad or grandma or grandpa?  That place that you trusted was safe to cry and hold on tight, knowing that they would make it all ok?  Some may not have ever known this kind of embrace, I am well aware of this cruel world and how sometimes we can get a little screwed up here.  But this is the kind of embrace I think it'll be in heaven.  The one where you and God make eye contact and he sweeps you off your feet and he hugs you like never before and you just hang on tight.  And then he says, "Welcome home."  

I love this video.  It sums up every emotion that an armed service family goes through.  I encourage you to take that intimate journey while watching the faces turn from happy to shock to overwhelming joy.  I cry every time.  I'm a sucker.  God bless!

Click Here for the video. 

What I want

1. A new car that gets a gajillion miles to the gallon of biodiesel fuel.

2.  Honesty like an 8 year old who can say to a teenage girl, "You better be glad you're a woman, cause you get to stay inside the house and work.  Not like us men that have to work in the heat!"  Oh the wise words of a man....

3.  Body of me when I was 22 the day I married my sweet husband!

4.  A huge honkin' momma-jomma chocolate cake!  Ironic that this come directly after the #3 want?  Doubtful.

5.  A high powered assault rifle to rid my garden of those oh-so-cute bunnies and my yard of the psychotic cat bird that pecks the fur off my cat!

6.  Willpower to do what I already know I'm supposed to be doing instead of blogging.

7.  My hubby.  He is away doing God's work, dang it all, on a mission trip.  No, really, I'm fine with it, but my bed is very cold and coffee sucks!

8.  More time to be a friend, a GOOD friend to those I know and love.

So, let's recap:

Flintstone SUV, truth, supermodel thighs, cake, firearm, willpower, my bestest friend, and time.  Yep.  That pretty much sums it up!

What I'm capable of attaining on this list today:

Chocolate cake.  
Yea, I guess life's not so bad afterall!

God bless your day!