Dear.....

Dear Dudes With Your Hiney Showing,
I hate to tell you this, but its not attractive seeing your brand of underwear hanging out of the top of your pants.  And its not just the waistband anymore these days, its the whole, full moon.  Who ever told you that was a great idea is probably the one who also puts the "kick me" sign on the back of people just for fun and shouldn't be trusted.  Really, your bum?  For all to see?  Look, if I want to see anyone's bum it will be my hubby's or maybe, say, the dude from Criminal Minds.....anyway, pull up your pants, my daughter doesn't need to see that.

Dear Sexy Little Tart,
Where are you?  What the heck are you doing?  Working?  Ha!  I know better.  Get your butt on FB or Blogger so I don't have to wonder if you've fallen into a vat of toxic waste at work and noone is helping you out!  If, however, you've sold your cell phone and computer in order to fund your European vaca, then I'm ok and will get the scoop from your sister!  Love ya darlin'!

Dear Saucy Redheaded Minx,
Yea, you know who you are!  Listen, missy, its not nice to tease people with a new blog and then not write anything there!  I'm sure that you must have writer's block because we haven't been hanging out in order for you to have some good material to write about.........humor me.  Also, just a note to say, "I love ya!"

Dear Man Who Stole My Heart 21 years ago,
Dude, have you seen yourself in the mirror lately?  Holy Moley, how do I keep my hands off of you for any length of time is bewildering, really.  I need a date.  I need a me and you date.  Hello?  Are you listening?  Take me away from this barren place, to somewhere not so stinkin' hot and miserable, like......... Alaska!  Come on, baby, let's go!

Dear Couple of Moron's Who Continue to Diss My Son,
Are you serious?  He's the smart one here.  Just because you don't have a clue of how to manipulate others into doing what you want them to, does not give you permission to try to tear my son down.  Them's fightin' words, and you're lucky that I'm too lazy to actually follow through with the fight.  Although, keep it up and I may have to pray for you!

Dear God,
Forgive me for my overall crappy attitude the last, say, oh, IDK, 3 years.....  I have come to know you in such a personal way recently and don't ever want to know myself pulling a different direction again.  I thank you for your Word that is so alive in my heart every time I read it.  I thank you for your Son that you knew had to sacrifice in order for me to pay attention to who you are.  I know that you're relational with ME, with ME, with ME.  You know MY name.  You know MY heart.  I love you!  BTW, the pants on the ground thing down here is getting out of hand, could you fix that?  Thanks.  Me.