Vegan Victories

1.  My pants are falling off.  That is a victory, but not necessarily a good thing when you're at a Christmas Concert!  Lady had to come tell me, "um, honey, your zipper, dear......"  Crap!  Thank goodness it was a side zipper and a clasp on top to hold me together.

2.  I can wear my wedding rings again.  This is huge.  The last time I could wear my wedding rings I think the first Bush was in office.  Ok, maybe not that long ago.  After Hilary got her husband elected and before Lewinski.  IDK.  Anyway, this is so amazing that I can actually put them on and they don't strangle my fingers.  I'm very excited!

3.  I am loving cooking vegan!  With the exception of my new favorite obsession with Marzetti's Putanesca Sauce, which isn't totally vegan (there's anchovies) I am sticking to it!  And you wouldn't believe how amazing the food tastes!  Why didn't I do this sooner?

4.  It has been a transformation for my husband.  He is a wonderful guy and he really wants to see me succeed in this because he knows it's important to me.  He's come a long way with all of this and is really quite amazing with it all.  Poor guy has lost some weight!  Believe me, he can't afford to lose it!  He's been wearing 29"waist jeans since he grew into them in Jr. High!  The good side is that my advice has been for him to eat MORE!

5.  I have some amazing friends who are supporting me and eating my crazy food and loving me through it.  I don't think I will ever turn back.

6.  I feel really good.  I feel really, really good.

7.  I ran over 4 miles last week.  Holy Moly!

8.  God is good.

God Positioning System or GPS

 25.1514"N, 111° 41' 39.1554"W

36.50277, -111.85757

These are no ordinary groups of numbers.  These are not answers to some odd mathematical word problem.  These are some of the most precious numbers in my life right now.  With technology these days it's easy to follow precious cargo down the chilly waters of the Colorado as it snakes its way through the Grandness of the mighty Canyon.  As these are updated every few days I get a glimpse into the life of my 20 y.o. as he is on the trip of a lifetime.  Of course, he may do this again in his lifetime, but this is the first trip, the unknown of the cliff walls and blue-green waters still a mystery every day for him.  The world stops, and, of course, the suspenseful game of Clue, when these numbers come across my email.  I must rush to my computer and plug them into Google Earth and see where they are.  So, they are here:

And one of the most amazing things about this is that David and I can zoom in, pan up, travel up the river where they've come from, travel down the river where they'll head to next, see the upcoming rapids in their future and look at the ones they already passed through.  It's an interesting perspective to be able to sort of see where Adam will be tomorrow before he gets there.  I wonder if he will "get" what God has going on in his life right now?  I wonder if he will appreciate the awe inspiring handiwork that God laid out long ago for him to appreciate now?  I pray that God reveals himself in such a way this trip that Adam is forever changed!

This parallel of coordinates for him and God's coordinates for not only his life, but mine, is something I can't seem to get off of my mind.  I believe God feels the same way about me, about us.  He can see where we've been, knows where we are and knows where we're headed.  He knows the rapids and struggles we've already experienced that have made an impact, or hopefully made one, in order for us to learn from our mistakes and do it differently next time.  He knows there are struggles ahead and rapids to maneuver.  He doesn't keep the water calm.  How boring that would be.  He allows us to willingly put ourselves in our own boats down the rocky crevasses of our lives and paddle through those rough waters.  But knowing that all we have to do is look up to know that He is right there with us.  It's in the beauty around us.  It's in the fact that we actually made it through.  It's in the journey laid out ahead of us years and years before we were even born.  He knows.  God Positioning System.  What are your coordinates?  Where are  you headed?  Have you forgotten where you've been?  Have you learned from those past struggles yet in order to do it differently next time?  There will be a next time.  But just look up.  He created that view for me and you.  He is in constant conversation with us.  He loves us dearly.  He wants us to recognize Him in our lives.  What does your satellite image reveal?

Romans 5:1-5

 ¹ Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. ³ Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Door into the Canyon

Yesterday my baby, my 20 year old baby boy, left for his trip.  Not an ordinary, run-of-the-mill trip, but a 25 day raft trip down the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon.  My husband and I have been so excited for him to go on this trip.  I mean, really, 20, and turning 21 while on this trip, young man gets to raft the Grand Canyon?!  Who wouldn't be excited and undoubtedly a little jealous.  Yea, I know not all of you are up for such adventure.  Frankly, my knees couldn't take it I'm sure!  But, wow, for him!  10 of his buddies and soon to be closest friends on earth for 25 days, are heading out on the river at 1100 hours Tuesday morning.  He called from the edge of the Grand Canyon last night with a bright moon shining over the Navajo bridge.  He was so cute calling with that giddy voice!

I, however, woke up yesterday with a horrible stomach ache that lasted all day long accompanied by a tremendous headache that went away not long after his phone call.  Yes, excitement for him, but utter terror for me not being able to speak to him until January now.  But, this is life as a parent.  Life where my husband and I have raised our kids to be what they are passionate to be.  To be kids who say yes to making a life and not lose themselves making a living.  Not that making a living is bad, its absolutely essential!  But, making a life makes a boy become a man who becomes a father deep down inside that may be able to come out one day a loooooonnnnggg time from now, but still.  And making a life makes a man still love being a boy enough to stay passionate about fun and love and life and work and ultimately and foremost, Almighty Heavenly Father.

God was shaking his head at me yesterday.  As my brain tried to adjust to my stomach angst, I could hear in my head, "trust me.  Umm... hello, trust me!"  I had slipped down the sticky, gooey, thick slope of worry and couldn't figure out how to get out of it.  Then, a friend, who is always there for me brought me Mark 9:24: " Lord, I believe.  Help me with my unbelief."  She reminded me that I can trust and do trust but that doesn't always take away the yucky feelings.  Wise.  I love her.

I can't wait to see the pictures and hear the stories!  I can't wait to hear his voice in January!  The thing about the door into the Canyon is that once it's open, it will most likely never close again.  Open doors and whitewater canyons!  God speed!

Dear Heavenly Father,

Place your hands around these sons and daughters as they taste the waters of one of the most beautiful places you created.  Help them to know you more.  Help them to feel your presence there.  Keep them safe.  They are in your hands.

Amen.

Hoorays, Boos and an update in the CRB

Hoorays:

-I've lost ten pounds since I put new batteries in my scale!

- I can slide my jeans on and off without unbuttoning them and with no straining difficulties.  How do I know this?  I just tried it and voila!

- I just had the most amazing dinner - bean and brown rice burrito with Better Than Sour Cream and Rice Cheese with Green Chile Enchilada sauce on top.  Soon I will blog about my amazing vegan Thanksgiving treats that EVERYONE really liked!  (or they lied really well)

- I ran again today for training.  I ran on Monday as well.  My knees are much better and I'm not a woos anymore, well, for now anyway.  Cooper River Bridge Run ..... I'm gettin' ready for ya!

Boos:

- I'm missing Colorado more and more everyday, which makes me sad.  I miss my boys, but it's too soon to return there because their still making up their lives for themselves.  Maybe one day........ maybe, if God sees fit.

- The first one is pretty much overriding any other boos I have, so I'm done whining about everything else, except the first one, did I mention that I really miss my boys?  I do.

My week and update on CRB 10k

The week really started off well.  I have been sticking firmly to this new lifestyle and really, really loving it.  I can't tell you how wonderful I feel.

Anywho, I went for my scheduled walk/run training on Monday.  2 min walk and 4 min run for 36 minutes total.  I did it!  I am feeling better each time, like I'm not going to need a new lung anyway.  The thing that sucked was about 45 minutes after I finished when I was home walking down the stairs it felt like someone was shoving  nail behind my right kneecap.  I then noticed that both of my knees were swollen.  Crrrrraaaaaaaap.  Ok, no problem.  I sat my hiney down and iced them for twenty minutes and started to take Ibuprofen to alleviate the swelling.  It seemed to work a little, but still had some pain only when walking down the stairs.  Called my physical therapy friend for some knee strengthening exercises (maybe a tad too late, but...) and she gave me some great advice as well.  Called the trainer told her I prob would take off Tues from running just to be safe.  I don't want to put myself out for good!  Went walking on Tues to the Christmas parade downtown, not far, but I paid for it when I got home.  Bring on more ice.  Got a  text back from the trainer lady and she said no running/walking until Monday and to ice it 3x day 20 min at a time with Ibuprofen too.  Great. Now I'm two weeks behind everyone else.  They all started a week before me.  I'm not very happy with my self right now.  Not that I could foresee this one, but that I let myself get to the point where this would be an issue.  It's totally preventative at this point, I get that, I am not overreacting.  I am just being safe so that I can continue to get healthy.  I just tend to beat myself up about my current weight and past weight a little too much, it's the dramatic diva in me.  God will work that one out too.  Diva exorcism.  Nothing humbles an out of shape diva like running in front of construction workers and the whole of downtown while sucking all of the oxygen out of the air and breathing like you're gonna die any minute and in those oh-so-flattering workout clothes - NOT.

All of this icing/down time has given me time to do some more research on my new eating lifestyle.  Now I want this for Christmas:

.........and I think I will have to suck it up and go sit on Santa's lap at the mall, cuz it's not in my budget at the low, low price of $2395.00!  He owes me anyway, I haven't seen a freeking gift from him in years and I'm due!

I must say though, this vegan style of eating made it so nice yesterday.  While everyone was miserable after dinner I was feeling quite chipper!  It's amazing the difference.  My mother was so sweet to fix stuff I could eat, but it was also stuff everyone could indulge in as well.  And a happy turkey for all those meat eaters was wonderful according to their tryptophan comas later!  She's the best!  I hope your Thanksgiving was as wonderful as mine!  Of course, mine is on-going with another family dinner tonight with those who just arrived from out of town!  Bring on the veggies!  I made Wild Rice Salad, Sweet Potato crock pot casserole and crock pot green beans - all vegan and gluten free!  My niece is vegetarian, so we will have plenty to choose from!

Have a great week and bring on the Christmas season!!!

God bless!

Thursday thoughts as misguided as they may be

Today.

1.  Ran/Walked for 20+ minutes.  Learned I could do it on my own when I need to.  Also, learned that I need to go earlier for less interruptions from shocked neighbors who want to talk about how they've NEVER seen me exercise, in the neighborhood, yea, that's it.  Thanks.

2.  Bought batteries for my bathroom scale.  Big mistake.  Haven't weighed myself since spring.  Should've left it that way.  That number should only be used for ...well, when I googled that number and put "is a good number for" I got.... swan fungus.  There ya go.

3.  I'm frustrated at my narcissistic behavior in the last couple weeks.  Although its a good place to be when blogging it doesn't make for good relationships with, say, people.  I have been the offender and I don't know how to fix it.  Prayer and lots of yummy delicacies wrapped up in a bow as a gift.  Or a new featherbed.  Random, I know.

4.  I decided the only thing that could pick me up was a green monster and Christmas music blaring out of my computer speakers.  Yea, it kinda works.  I love Christmas music but my kiddos, um, the jury is still out.  One came in and said, "What?!  It's not even Thanksgiving yet!"

5.  God and I have lots of work to do.  I need to be on my knees more with my mouth SHUT this time.

6.  I want to be at the beach right now.  No, really.  Right now.  Closing my eyes.  Clicking my heels.  There's no place like the beach, there's no place like the beach.  Hmmmmm.... didn't work.

7.  Thought I'd share a powerful video of Random Acts of Culture!  Hope you like it as much as I did!

May God bless you deeply.  Deeper than you thought possible.  A deep level you never knew existed.  My prayer for you.  God bless.

CRB10k - week one second edition

So, I've already changed the titles to weeks instead of parts one and beyond.  Such is my life.  Constant change. It's no wonder I'm always confused!

Well, today was hard.  I woke up with a bad attitude and told my hubby I didn't want to go.  I cried, even.  My blisters hurt (insert sarcastic crybaby noise here), my legs were still sore, my butt was still big.  I was discouraged.  I had changed my eating lifestyle to a place of heaven for me (really, I absolutely love it) and added in some exercising (only two episodes thus far) and wondered why I didn't already have the energy of Jillian, the trainer from The Big Loser.  Maybe my expectations were a little high at this juncture.  Ya think?  But I was still wanting to do anything but run today.  The dogs needed washing!  The baseboards needed dusting!  I need to clean out the fridge!!  Whatever.  I knew I needed to go.  I had every intention of going.  I just didn't want to go.  Like a toddler trying to manipulate the system for desert before dinner.  Heels dug in all the way there.  Intervals were walk two and run three.  What?!  The first day was run two walk one.  Great.  I put on my big girl you-know-whats-its and choked down my tears and turned up my mp3 player as loud as I could so I didn't have to hear that stupid timer go off telling me to run.  David Crowder Band, Switchfoot, Flyleaf and the BeeGees (you guessed it, "Stayin' Alive) ran along side keeping my mind off of the pain.  I did it! I actually did it.  All of it.  I ran 3 minutes at a time.  What?!  I was whining so bad on Monday for two minutes and couldn't even finish them for some sets.  Ok, today no hills.  Monday, lots of them.  So, yea, ok I get it.  I can run on flat ground without passing out!  Yay, me.

I have really been behaving myself on the food front.  I am so nervous that I may relapse into a binge eating process that will again last for years and shorten my life span.  I called my friend today to ask some advice, "what can I eat after a run?"  I don't want to fall of the wagon.  I really don't want to take two steps back.  She was so sweet and gentle with me.  "You're doing fine.  Keep doing what you're doing!  You don't need to worry about that nearly as much now, wait til your hair starts falling out then you may need to rethink your habits."  She always makes me smile!  Love you girl!  I feel like I'm on the right track for once!  Thanks to all of you for your encouragement.  

My McDougall cookbook has arrived and I salivate over its contents!  Granted, it's not the "new" one, but later I will make that investment.  My family is being rather supportive, even when there's no meat on their plate!  I'm excited to find recipes that we can all enjoy together.  We'll see how long it lasts before they start to put their foot down.  That's when my kids learn how to shop and cook their own food.  Until then, if I'm in charge of shopping and cooking then I guess they'll eat if they're hungry, right?

I really do want to pray for you.  No, really.  Even if its to lift up praises in your awesome lives of no struggles, let me know how to pray for you.  This thing called life consists of you and me.  While we're here together we might as well act like we like each other, right?  

John 15:7 (New International Version)

⁷ If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.




P.S.
And a little music for those of you who know you have this stuck in your head now!  You can thank me later!

Cooper River Bridge 10k - Part 1

I was sharing my new lifestyle with a friend of mine recently and she encouraged me to join in on the challenge to walk/run the Cooper River Bridge 10k.  I'm taking her up on it!  Now, I am realistic that the training will be rigorous for me, but I do honestly believe that I am ready.  I will be joining a team of ladies who are from the very experienced to the novices, like myself, to train for 18 weeks.  I started today with one of my dearest friends by my side as my trainer with her group.  My results:  I did not die.  I know, shocking, huh?  I actually feel really well and on the ride home was ready to do it again, but I knew that it was just adrenaline talkin'.  I walked 5 miles this weekend with my bestie at the park and she kicked my butt, but it was so good to get out again!  I have the blisters to prove it, but blisters are not going to scare me away!

I'm starting out my week with two weeks under my belt of this vegan lifestyle and I am totally in love with it.  First of all, I feel so good!  I feel very energized!  Within 48  hours of quitting the animal based diet I have been on for all my life I felt like a new person.  No. Kidding.  Really, no kidding.  I won't josh you here, because I just won't.  No more fuzzy brain stuff either.  Gone.  Ya'll that's big.

So today started off with apples and a green monster drink..... what's for lunch?  Hmmmmm.... better hit the grocery store!

Have a blessed day!

I'd like to thank Flyleaf and Toby Mac for the encouragement I received this a.m. through my workout.  Ya'll rock!

God bless your every breath today!

Enjoy what I enjoyed this a.m. with these:

Clear skies ahead

I am really liking this new lifestyle so far!  I have been privileged to find some really amazing recipes that everyone (except Matt) has loved!  Last night's dinner?  Carol's Goulash, veggie patties w/ pineapple salsa and great friends!  What a blessed person I am.  Poor Matt didn't care for the Goulash recipe but I didn't mind, because he did try it and was honest about it.  He is my one child who tries anything and usually loves it all, but Goulash, not so much!

My favorite energy drink is a version of the Green Monster.  But she doesn't really give you amounts and such here so I like this one and this one, too.  I absolutely love this drink, but will have to splurge on almond or rice milk instead of soy because its a tad on the sweet side.  Anyway, it's a great morning drink for energy with a side of sprouted wheat toast.  Or as an afternoon snack, yummo!  

So, I have really done well so far at staying within the realms of my new lifestyle and not "compromising" as I do so often in other things.  Justifying my actions with, "well, it's all they had or maybe just one."  Even Lays potato chips knows you can't eat just one!  I know that right now it has to be all or nothing with me, cause that's my personality and I'm retraining my brain and must stay the course for now and I will work on how I can splurge later when my will power is in check.  

I have sooooo much more energy than before.  This is so huge for me.  Think of your worst down day and multiply that by three and then you'll be close to what I usually feel everyday pre-veganese.  I'm telling you that I feel so much better so far that when I really get going on this I plan to be extremely annoying on here with all of my pent up energy releasing itself cyberly!  Yea, I know, not a word, but I think it should be.  

The other thing that has really got me baffled is my thought process has begun to come back on track.  I have suffered from this really fuzzy brain feeling for a long while now and I'm trying to homeschool my kids which doesn't make for a good mix.  But over the last week it's been amazing how each day brings new clarity to my synopsis up there!  I think this is what was adding to my depression more than anything.  I'm used to being a multi-tasker and thoughts were categorized in neat little packages up there and I could pull from them when I needed to, but it was like they all got dumped out and were jumbled together.  It does bring it's own little oddities to the playing field when you start to re-organize.  This a.m. I woke up remembering EVERYTHING I needed to do today and I freaked out thinking, "wow, is that right?"  Almost like I didn't trust my thoughts.  Well, here we go, back to the road of recovery.  I feel like an addict must feel.  Makes me wonder if there is a direct correlation between dementia or Alzheimer's and our high fat animal diet.  Hmmmm.....may have to research that one.

My next step towards this new change is to get back into my exercise routine, which frankly will be new because I've never had a routine with exercise.  Who am I kidding?  Anyway, now that my energy is returning to a place where I actually feel like I can do something. An exercise routine will be next!

I see from my last post that none of you have any ways for me to pray for you so you must be living so perfectly, I'm jealous!  I will pray for you anyway, just in a general sense til I hear otherwise.  Please continue to pray for me because I really do feel the support from your prayers is helping to firm the foundation for me.  I appreciate your support!  Now I sound like a Bartles and James commercial!  

Thank goodness my God loves me, little ole me.  I couldn't do this any other way!  And he continues to remind me of what he has in store:

Jeremiah 29:11 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Say it isn't so.....oh, yea, it is!

So, I eluded to my new venture in my last post and some of you already caught on to my mysterious ways!  Cheeky little devils!  

Yes, I'm goin' vegan.  Food-wise, not in my closet.  I will still drive my car with leather seats and wear my furry coat to church (kidding, I don't have a fur coat).  It has now been about a week (with the exception of my hubby making me a grilled cheese sandwich, which I felt obligated to eat) since I went dairy free.  Then a day later, no meat or meat bi-products.  Please don't call me crazy or throw a fit like my husband does when I say "no meat". He doesn't even know I've made this change anyway, so shhhhhh, don't tell.  It's not hard for him not to notice little things like what I am shoveling in my mouth or whether or not I got a haircut or bought a new shirt or went out of town.  Ok, that last one is a bit of an exag, but you get the point.  

Why?  Why, or why would someone give up the peppered bacon that resides in a cheesy tortilla melt, and forgo the cheese, too?  What up?  Everyday.  Not once in a while.  Everyday, I wake up tired, sore, fuzzy thoughts and depressed.  There are other issues that are much too personal to post here, but it's putting a relationship in jeopardy, and it's probably one of the top two MOST important reasons I am making the change.  Too bad you'll never know what it is.  The other is this, God has ordained in me the piece that is supposed to be active.  Not go to the gym or run a 5k, but to be active in His body of believers and reach out to those who don't know him.  Well, you know what, I don't feel like it 98.9% of the time.  I love God.  I like hanging out with his peeps and one day hope to actually go on a mission trip, local or far, far away.  But I have hindered the process of purposeful living by filling myself full of junk.  I am an emotional eater, I'm a procrastinator, as well.  Somedays I forget to eat until 2 p.m. or get busy and don't have time to eat til then.  Other days, I wake up depressed and start eating everything in sight until I go to bed which depresses me, so there you go again.  I have tried so many different things in the past to help me out, but never been able to follow through.  Hence my last post.  Now, I really need this to be my lifestyle.  Pray for me, because it won't work for me for too long if I can't have the support of my family, and right now the men are all ravenous carnivores.  I have done some research found some recipes and sites with pre-made shopping lists (yes, I'm that lazy).  I have actually found several recipes that I have already made for the fam and dinner guests, without their knowledge, that was both dairy free and meat free and they liked them.  Go figure.  Anywho.  I am already seeing the difference in my headaches going away and not waking up with them.  I am not depressed in the a.m. like I was before a week ago.  I am still sore, but not nearly as much, but that just means I need to go see my favorite chiropractor.  My brain is still fuzzy, but not nearly as much as it has been.  I know it sounds weird, but it was so bad.  

I do not feel like I am depriving myself of anything.  It hasn't been that hard so far.  I actually can't wait to put this whole part of my life behind me and get on with living!  My bad behavior in this area was out-of-hand and needed repair.  No more letting my bad habits control my walk with Christ, on the path, off the path, on the path, etc.  THIS particular area will no longer be the issue, clearing the way for other more bad habits I've been hiding maybe....oh, I hope not!

I want to live fully in God's will, but I find myself shirking away from duties I know I am to do, because of my fatigue and my health in general.  If I am to be a productive Christian I need to get myself in gear and stop letting my body and my lifestyle get in the way.  It really is to take the emphasis OFF of food and weight issues for me and free me up to be completely and utterly distracted with Jesus!

I am not suggesting that by reading this you will automatically need to do the same, by no means!  We are all different in our journeys with Christ and it is up to us to identify those areas that keep us from doing His work in our lives that He calls us to do.  Is there an area that you can improve in your life that will free you up to do God's work more?  Let me know and I will pray for you in that journey as well.  Please, please, please keep me in your prayers to follow through and change my lifestyle.  I will need all the help I can get!  God bless your journey!

1 Peter 4:11

If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Lifestyle changes and what-not

So, with some prodding from my daughter and the voice in my head that's been playing this tune for months now, I have decided to venture into new territory for me.  However, in doing so I will cause a rift between the males and females in the house, but maybe they'll be game enough to change later.  I'm scared to actually type it because I suck at follow through.  I know it needs to happen, I have no other choice.  I will get no support from my husband, I'll just tell ya that right now.  Don't get me wrong, he'll nod and say, "Whatever you want to do, honey, is great!  I just won't do it.  I can't do it.  I can't imagine even thinking that.  But whatever you want is great!"

I'm tired ALL the time.  I'm sore ALL the time.  I wake up feeling horrible.  I need this to change.  I need to know that I am investing in my future and my kids futures.  We have no health insurance and won't.  I need this to be my health insurance for now.  

I'm looking forward to it.  I'm actually excited about it!  If you see me out, don't call me on the carpet if I'm not doing it right, cause I'm just getting started and I have LOTS to learn!

It's.......well.......UH!....I just can't say.  Maybe later, if I actually follow through with it, I'll confess.  Maybe.

God bless!

For real pretend-like

An overwhelming theme of "stop playing church" has reverberated my world over the past couple weeks.  Interesting how I've gone from coast to mountains in this time frame and it remains all around me.  I mourn for community at this point.  Why don't we like to hang together as friends, neighbors, church families, etc. anymore?  Have we busied ourselves right out of sincere relationships?  Is the closest person we have the teller at the bank or the lady in the drive-thru?  Not that they are very nice people, it's just that it seems as though many would rather have the convenient relationships rather that the ones that take work and frankly a little more time to nourish.  "I don't have time in my life to commit to so-and-so because little Jimmy has underwater basket weaving at four then tai-kwon-do-do at five, then our happy meals await on the way to my "how to simplify your life conference" so I won't be able to come to help you move your elderly mother into your home.  Can't you hire someone to help?"  Yes, I realize that seems a little dramatic and far-fetched, but in all honesty its not far off from the truth.  WE are the church.  Not the building or the temple or whatever you happen to gather in, but the people are the church.  The place where the Holy Spirit took root in your heart is where the sermons are spoken and the word of God is brought forth to the masses.  By reaching out to your neighbor and your friend and wanting to hang out with those in your church family.  I want to stop pretending and let people know how very much I care and love each and every one of them!  I want those around me to know the love of Christ in my life through my compassion for how their day went.  I want to be God with skin on. No more playing dress-up Christian, I want the real thing......

Just sayin'.........

What about you?  Any areas in your life you're tired of pretending? 

Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."

—John 4:23-24

 ¹Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

—Romans 12:1

Whew......tomorrow!

Why do today, what you can put off 'til tomorrow?

I was wondering why I wasn't feeling very creative, now I know.

Thank goodness for fortune cookies or I'd be toast!

God bless your fortunate selves!

writing, righting, wrote, writ, w/e

I want to write!  I want to blog here.  i have brain fuzz and can't seem to get rid of it!  It's really ticking me off too!  I want to write with the eloquence of Maya Angelou and Marianne Williamson.  I want to be passionate like David Platt and Frances Chan.  I want to make a difference in my life by getting out all the blah in my head.  When I don't write it gets ugly in there.  Like constipation of the cerebellum.  Do they have some sort of medication for that?  I'm sure they could make one up, but the side effects are probably worse than the illness.  See what I mean?  Drab rambling.  Who cares about that stuff anyway?  It's not being honest to who I am and what I want to regurgitate onto the screens of millions of readers...ok, thousands...ok, hundreds....ok, you two!  Satisfied?  

I want the words that swim around in my head to land softly and swiftly onto the pages of my blogger editor and soothe my soul like a eucalyptus lavender mint poultice salve.  OOOOhhhhhh, that sounds amazing.  Anyway, here we are in the midst of the drivel that excretes from my thoughts and wastes yet another moment of your time.  

Pray that I regain some brain cells to achieve a good post or two to save my sanity and my blog!!!!

For now, ponder this:

Isaiah 453:1b-2:

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you." 

A fleeting moment, a warm breath on the cold air, lights go on and off in the darkness.  Things that make me understand that which haunts me more now than ever is the ever-so-small amount of time that this life offers us on this earth.  Store up treasures in heaven.  You can't take it with you.  Life's little lessons.  I hope I've checked them off one by one.  

My new favorite song by Revive is "Blink".  Some of the picture painted in each line of the song go something like this:

"It happens in a blink

It happens in a flash

It happens in the time it takes to look back

Slow down, slow down

Before today becomes your yesterday..."

I want the molasses days.  The days when I watched paint dry.  The times I wasted watching water boil.  When was that?  Oh yea, never.  The joy with five kids is that there is never a dull moment.  It also means that life tends to go by at such a speed that you don't realize how fast your going, officer.  It's like having my own little Maserati under the hood of my Excursion.  

Yesterday, John was two and climbing into my picnic basket and grinning from ear-to-ear. Saturday he leaves on a jet plane for the adventures of the west and life as he sees it.  Hanging out with the big bro, working like a dog and carving out the powder at Wolf Creek.  Hmmmm....... life is good.  I pray that the lessons stuck in his head and he will call on them from time to time.  I pray that God gently sets his feet on solid ground in the great state of Colorado.  I pray that he will know God deeper than he knows him now, which is pretty deep, by the way.  

So, in the wise words of my favorite 80's rock band, Styx, here is some last minute advice:

It's six o'clock

Good morning sounds are everywhere

The warmth of spring, a gentle breeze blows through my hair

I hurry through my life never stopping to see

How beautiful it was meant to be

I'm just a prisoner in a king's disguise

Broken dreams as we shuffle by

It's six o'clock it's quitting time I'm done for the day

Out on the streets I overheard a lady say

We now have everything or so people say

But now this emptiness haunts me every day

We seek the lion's share never knowing why

Come alive spread your wings and fly

Pieces of eight

The search for the money tree

Don't cash your freedoms in for gold

Pieces of eight

Can't buy you everything

Don't let it turn your heart to stone

(Air guitar solo here for approximately 2 minutes)

Pieces of eight

The search for the money tree

Don't cash your freedoms in for gold

Pieces of eight

Treasures filled with emptiness

Don't let it turn your heart to stone

Not Personal, Just Business

The future of America right there, folks.  These two are hard-core
recyclers!

Very cool operation.  That's a lot of recycling there!
 (Too bad you can't see the sludge
dripping out of the bottom of this truck.....ewwww.)

Miss Paula working the visuals!  Go, Paula!

Marionettes?!  Really?!  You do know I'm a high schooler?

My phone camera didn't do the colors in these
bales justice at all.  They were quite beautiful, really.

First of all, thanks to the mom, a.k.a. Grandma D, for organizing this way cool field trip!  You rock.  Why, you wonder?  Because I didn't have to do anything but show up and those are my favorite field trips of all time!


We are in such odd times right now.  Everyone is very business-like when it comes to, say, business.  Yea, that totally makes sense. If you visited the recycling center in our area you would understand.  It's a totally cool homeschool field trip with cartoon character public service announcements all singing to Aretha Franklin's R-e-s-p-e-c-t tune, but using r-e-c-y-c-l-e instead. Quite a catchy tune and it sticks in that spot in your mind til 3 a.m. There were marionettes, too, people!  This place has got it going on.  Lots of primary colors on the walls and recycled projects displayed and an awesome viewing area of the whole shabang in the processing center.  Large windows where you could watch the trucks dumping out the materials and front end loaders pushing it around onto the conveyor belts for sorting then the stacks and stacks of awesomely colored bales of crushed aluminum cans and the like.  All very cool and very interesting.  Sarah was in awe of the soda pop chadelier inside the front door.  "Mom, we could totally do that!"  Of course, my reply was, "Well, honey, that means we'd have to start drinking soda."  Hmmmmm....not sure that project will make the cutting floor.  


I just was a little saddened by the lack of environmental statistics or green information.  I thought there would be more.  Like some Living Like Ed pics on the walls or a stationery bike hooked to a toaster made of recycled materials.  Lots of talk about how much money it costs to recycle and how much money the county gets for selling their recycled material bales and etc.  Just not very informed on how recycling is good for the earth and what the impact to the landfills have been since starting the program.  I'm sure once the economy settles down, Ed Begley, Jr. will drop by for a green makeover and educate the educator.  Til then I encourage you to not only visit the closest center in your area, but recycle.  It's good for the earth, and it's good for you, although I don't know why........JK.  Trying to be funny.  

Job 12:7-10

 ⁷ "But ask the animals, and they will teach you, 

       or the birds of the air, and they will tell you;

 ⁸ or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, 

       or let the fish of the sea inform you.

 ⁹ Which of all these does not know 

       that the hand of the LORD has done this?

 ¹⁰ In his hand is the life of every creature 

       and the breath of all mankind.

Homeschool Buffet

The view of this table when it's littered with books and schedules brings tears to my eyes.  I adore it.  I love it.  I want to remember how I longed for this day to be here and now God has granted the mercy, patience and provision for us to be here in this moment.  I praise Him for answered prayers.  I remember the agony of year one, year two and year three and here we are in the most glorious of years, number 4.

Thank you God for your tender patience in me.

Help me to extend that grace and patience in teaching my children.

May the peace and joy of the Almighty Father be in your dining room today!

Autumnal favs

I love the vibrant color of my dehydrated tobasco peppers (if I could be a color, this would be me):

I love watching daddy/daughter talks:

 I love that apples are huge this time of year:

I love that I found coconut m&ms:

My kids love that I found peanut butter m&ms:

Thank You God for favs!

Creative Sludge

I am feeling it.  That time of my life when I have put my creative bursts of energy on hold long enough that I'm about to explode!  I want a new sewing machine, because I've never been able to thread mine the right way to sew with it and it ticks me off.  I love to sew.  I was in the costume department in college for my work/study program and I miss my sewing machine!  My poor boys, I used to sew clothing for them.  I will NOT post pictures for their sakes.

But every now and again I just have to do something for the creative center in my cerebellum.  My fine motor skills must be honed with bouts of crocheting and buttons and bows and some sewing and wall art and something, for heaven's sake.

I found an excellent pattern for the cutest baby booties, crocheted, and have knocked out a few of those, but now my appetite has been whet and I need more, like a crack addict.  I need my art.  I need my creative juices to flow.

I think I shall decopauge the dog's food bowl.  Laters.

God bless your creative spirit!

Elk Mountain, Wyoming

This is where I want to go.  I don't know why.  

The only job opening in the area is putting up 290 lineal feet of fence.  Hmmmmmm....

Who wants a field trip?!

Me, me, me, me!

God bless Elk Mountain, Wyoming!

Your Average is a C, making you average

I hate taking tests.  Hated it in school, don't like it now.  I don't like to make my kids take them either, but since I have homeschool high schoolers then I have to have a grade or something for their transcripts.  

Not too long ago my church decided to ask all of its members and chronic visitors, you know who you are, to take a test online at assessme.org.  It's a spiritual gifts sort of test.  I took it, albeit I didn't like it.  It gave some quite humorous results.  Instead of pinpointing my strengths were I could plug-in more easily to church activities and ministries it just muddied the waters.  You see, apparently I have not one, but four, personality types.  Now, this could come in handy if you need to adjust to many situations because then I'm your gal!  Whatev.

Friends of ours and my hubby and I were talking the other night about the book "The 5 Love Languages" and how it cleared up some questions for how couples relate to each other in their marriages.  We all decided to take the "survey" (cute word for evil test) and see how we should all be relating.  I suck at tests.  Did I tell you that already?  Upon scoring my results I scored the same on four out of five love languages.  No wonder my husband can't ever figure out how to communicate with me!  JK, we do fine, but really?  Seriously?  So I decided to take it again.  Ya'll pray for me.  

I know the most pressing question on your mind is which love language did not make the cut.  "Receiving gifts" is not a language I speak.  So true!  I know which love language I don't speak, but apparently am pretty quad-lingual in the rest.  Yea, I made that word up cuz I can.

Maybe that's why I blog so as not to look funny talking to all of my personalities with all of my love languages at the same time in public.  Cause really, let's be honest, most of us are just talking to ourselves here, right?  No, I'm not, yes, I am, shut up!  No, you!  Poo-poo head.  Oh, I gotta go, I'm getting out of hand!

God bless you and all of your many personalities today!

Spunky for Jesus

I love homeschooling.  Yea, yea, yea for the obvious reasons that I feel I'm doing my children a huge service by providing them with a discipleship rich education, yadda, yadda, yadda.  Yea that too, but even better, you get to meet some really cool people.

Today, I had the privilege of coming in contact with a lady with three kids and a great sense of who she is right now.  Why I say right now, is because she strikes me as human enough to be able to have a breakdown next week and be ok with it still.  The whole time these pearls of wisdom and reality flowed from her animated face I just stared at her.  Thank goodness I was wearing shades so as not to seem creepy.  The wheels were turning in my head on how I was going to afford to build an addition onto my home to accomodate her perky self so that she can be there to shake like an eight ball and ask those hard to ask questions and wait for the amazing revelations like, "so you're telling me that God doesn't care about you, is that what I'm understanding about the words coming out your mouth?"  Ok, not quite like that.  She was much more eloquent and funny.

She is raw, rare honesty wrapped up in one little spunky momma.  I loved it.  I want to be spunky for Jesus like that.  Another friend of mine was picking her brain as to the questions she had about our bible study and lil miss spunkinator was rattling off her answers as we sat around waiting for the next hilarious moment of honesty to drop to the park playground floor. All this, while calming screaming children and tattle tailing and boo-boos, etc.

I pray for my honesty to step out of the closet and show itself more often.  The witnessing that can take place in a moment like that is quite amazing.  It's not that I lie, it's just that I hold back and am not quite as vocal in my honesty.

Dear God,
I want to be spunky for you.  Help me out.  Amen.

What have you done for me lately....ooo, ooo, oo, oo, yea!

It's like a contagious, icky viral cold.  It starts and then someone else is sneezing it out then it gets on you then you're afraid you'll get it so you pray it off.  It hurts, it stings.  What do you do?  Believe me, I used to be one of those "closet trashers".  You know, the one who hides behind trash-talk, calling it a prayer request.  No more.  I don't take part in the tearing down of others anymore.  Thank you God!!!!!!  It was with his help that I rid myself of that nasty virus.

But, yesterday, I was subject to it once again in conversation with some awesome Godly ladies.  Now, I know what you're thinking, that maybe they weren't so Godly....not true.  They are two of the most Godly women I know.  You see, the trash talkin' came from a woman I dearly love, but she was trashing herself!  No, let me explain.  The things she said about her life and her spiritual journey, had they been said from a different person about her, I would've laid somebody out with a right hook and a little booty kickin'.  I found myself getting all up in a tizzy about what I was hearing.  I was offended on her behalf, but she was talking about herself.  So, you see the weird spot it puts me in.  Wanting to kick butt, but realizing that I would be kicking her butt and it would be the same person that I was defending.  Odd, I know.

I wish she knew this about this person she was talking about:

1.  She is one of the most awesome mothers on the planet!  Your babes love you so much and are such a testimony of how God works in their lives through you.  I've seen those other schoolers, really God has done a work through you.

2.  Her marriage is one of inspiration, and God did that, missy.  Yep, mark that down on your "what has God done in your life list!"

3.  Her devotion to her education of God's Word is remarkable.  Where were you a few years ago with that?  Yea, that's what I thought....God, again.

4.  Your home is the heart of your family.  It's not the edifice, its the spirit of who you all are together.  You could be anywhere and this would be true.  Again, God has worked that through for you, remember the job offer in Alaska?

5.  I would do anything I could to make the pain and the crappy times go away for you.  I would take them on myself.  I know it sucks big time, eventhough you say you're good.  I'm sorry for how you go through this time and time again.  I would take it, no, really, I would.

So, here's the thing, sista!  If you don't stop trashing my friend's life and her dignity, I will take  you to a dark alley and bring my thug friends (Jen, that's you)!


Worth.  It's what God tagged us with when he created us.  Worthy of his love.  Worthy of our role in his will. Worthy people.  Worthy of relationship.  Worthy enough to have peace.  Worthy.

Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. 1 Peter 5:7 (AMP)